Pizza Stomach


Coach Jr spends a good portion of his day dully observing the follies of his elders.

Quincy was playing with a wooden pizza cutter.

Me: an ab wheel, huh?

Quincy: ?

Me: you roll it over your tummy to make lines.  Like this. (Rolls pizza cutter over abdomen). Feel my tummy. (Puts her hand on top of my shirt) Can you feel the lines?

Quincy: Yes! I want to try! (seizes pizza cutter)

Me: Just roll gently. And never use an actual pizza cutter.

Quincy lifts shirt to examine the results.

Quincy: Did it work?

Me: Yes dear i can totally see the lines.

Quincy: Yay! Now i want to try it on mommy.

Karena is sitting on the bed.

Karena: UM…

Me: ūüėÄ

Quincy: it’s not working i don’t feel any lines

Karena: ūüė°

Quincy: maybe I’m doing it wrong

At this point she moved the pizza cutter up and rolled it between Karena’s uh bosom

Quincy: There you go mommy, now you have a line.

wt: 161.4

t/h: 64/75%

base calories: 2250 (+10)

days in a row i’ve had to kill a large insect during workout hours: 3

CPP: 45,115,145,165,176 (13 min)

HBPS: 240
S#21: 290
S#20: 335
BPS#20: 315

Snatch: 65,95,115,120,–125–, 125 ahhhahaha sigh

BP: 140 x 5, 190 x 4, 235 x 3, 275 x 1, 295 x –3–2

Rack DL #27: 225,315,405,445

sets: 19

Time: 73

frequency: kenneth?

Toilet trees

Quincy: i want to put this in the money machine!


Quincy (suddenly uninterested): i don’t know.

Sigh. He calls it a “hat”. Like tinky-winky calls his purse a “bag.” Although TBF (cowboyguy: to be fair) he declares “hat” whenever he puts something on his head including, once, a pair of underpants from the laundry basket.

Yesterday i was talking to Quincy and she asked me the difference between silly and goofy.

Me: Silly is when you try to push a car with a noodle. Goofy is when you try to push a car with a noodle – and you think that it will move.

I thought that was pretty good for a spur of the moment answer especially while i was trying to buckle her into her car seat. She didn’t really listen to the answer so I’ll share it with you.

Rereading Getting things done (2015 edition). I appreciate it much more this time around. Before i kind of saw it as “straightening your desk and files to the nth degree before you start on your actual work”. But now I realize that is a simplistic and cynical interpretation.

wt: 161.6

WU: 45,110,140,160,175 (16 min)

HBPS: 235
S#21: 285
S#20: 330
S#19: 370
S#18: 405
S#17: 435
S#16: 460
S#15: 485
BPS #15: 505

Note to self don’t do nine sets of squats if you’re planning to bench but only have an hour to work out.

Snatch: 65,95,105,115,120

120 was slightly challenging which both delighted and depressed me. I might not have done snatches today except Celicas frivolous comment from yesterday motivated me

SLDL: 225 x 4, 275 x 3, 315,350 x 2

sets: 18

time: 68

Your Baby Can Raed

I know it’s uncool to boast about your kids’ achievements especially when they are academic. But:

1. This whole blog is basically focused on me boasting about things i lifted in my garage

2. Due to the rude noises, the cursing, the churlish table manners, the general shlubbiness, the food throwing, (& future career as Senator), Coach Jr has a reputation as the Bluto Blutarsky of babies. He gets called names like “poor old fathead,” “baby Sam” “dirty dog” and etc. He is often cruelly prevented from doing activities he enjoys like eating leaves, walking into the road, and climbing the stairs by himself.


yes he has toast in his hair.

3. I consider this a notable achievement as he broke the family record for learning to read stuff (20 months)



Folly/Outrage of the day: The VA didn’t send me my allergy medicine so I had to call and plead with them. Went without for a few days but no symptoms. Got new 90 ct bottle and didn’t start taking them right away since I proved that I no longer have allergies and had cured myself by i guess taking spirulina and being magical. After about 3 days of this, developed serious allergy symptoms and recontinued medicine fortunately did not boast to Karena about my brush with imperviousness. This morning I spilled the entire bottle of ~85 pills on the not-super-clean kitchen floor. Picked them all up and put them back in the bottle except for seven or eight which I threw away because they’d rolled under the lip of the cabinet where I judged the most microbes were. Did not adhere to “5 second rule” because it was kind of dark and the pills are tiny. I think I got them all and I did sweep and they’re not like strychnine or anything but I told Karena anyway just in case because Coach Jr always has an eye out for tasty morsels people have left on the floor for him.


TBH I’m too embarassed about wasting taxpayer dollars. Will eat my dirty pills and suffer consequences if any. (brb will probably be hospitalized at much greater expense)

wt: 163.2

base cal: 2230 (-10)

t/h: 63/71

WU: 45,105,135,155,165,172.5 (14 min)

PP: 185,195,205

failed with 205 but gave it another push and it went up

HBPS: 230
S#21: 280
#20: 325
#19: 365
#18: 395
BPS #18: 385

Snatch: 65,85,95,100,105,115

current snatch level: high school freshman’s second workout. Idk I think it’s good to do something that you’re not great at but you enjoy and you don’t have to worry about ever being very good.

Rack DL #25: 225,315,405,460,495

sets: 20

time: 64

efficiency: 3.2 the lower the better hang on this is really time per set hang on this includes the time for warmup sets but not those sets it’s ok. i’m a man of science.

efficiency coefficient (sets/time): 0.313, um volts i like to say coefficient. also “leisure” in the British pronunciation

Delegation of Authority


Me: Now if I could just train Coach Jr to shriek at Rex everytime he caught him slacking off [while stick picking] I could go inside and watch TV and drink beer.


When I was looking at this pic on my computer screen, I realized what was going through the kids’ heads: ¬†Rex wishes he was Quincy – playing with Coach Jr instead of working. ¬†Quincy wishes she was a baby like Coach Jr and could be pushed around in his little car. ¬†And Coach Jr wishes he was Rex and got to pull that wagon*.

*you kind of have to trust me on the last one – Coach Jr likes to “help” and by help I mean when Rex pulls the wagon he grabs it and trundles along getting in the way.

wt: 163.2

t/h: 60/64%

WU: 45,100,140,155,165,171 (16 min)

HBPS: 225
S#21: 275
#20: 320
BPS #20: 265,295

Bench: 135 x 5, 195 x 4, 245 x 3, 275 x 4

Snatch: 45×2, 65,70,75,80,85,90,95 x 1

yes pounds. ¬†finally made it to the medium bumper plates now i don’t feel like a child any more – I’ve progressed to an adult female beginner level. no for srs it was just something to do in between bench press and squat sets; you could say my form is less than impeccable.

sets: 17

time: 66

efficiency: 3.88

efficiency is time/sets. i’m a big fan of meaningless statistics.

Training for big guns


wt: 163.4

t/h: 52/62

semi-post-cheat as in last night I had an extra rib, some fries and four pieces of jelly or cinnamon toast for dessert

WU: 45,95,120,140,155,170 (19 min)

CGB: 185×5, 230 x 4, 265 x 2, 295 x 1, –305 x 2– got one cleanly but lifted my ass about a mile off the bench on the second

I’m going to try doing regular bench for a while, we can call it medium grip.

HBPS: 215 x 1

Sqt #21: 265 x 1
Sqt #20: 315 x 1
BPS #20: 245 x 1

Rack DL #26: 225,315,405,455 x 1

sets: 13

time: 68


trust me watch the whole thing with sound.  NSFW

Wario is one of my favorite characters. ¬†I’ve occasionally been accused of acting (and even looking) like him. ¬†My kids got me this figurine one Christmas. ¬†Today I was playing play-doh with Quincy and I made this replica. ¬†Karena praised my sculpture. ¬†(I know it sucks but I usually make ancient Hebrew art and by that I mean it does not remotely resemble any living thing.)


IMG_20170406_172852.jpgCoach Jr surpassing his father at a young age.  At least in head circumference.

I got a new belt from ¬†It’s their 13 mm competition one. ¬†IPF legal baby.

Three years ago I was using a large belt.  Then I shrank, and got a medium off Amazon but it did this:


So I was already on the second-to-smallest notch (while wearing a sweatshirt) but I couldn’t believe that I could possibly be a person who wore a small anything so I got a medium and then had to exchange it because I was already able to put it on the smallest notch in my kitchen in a t-shirt.

Me: What do you think?  Should I return it?


Good thing I did not listen to her.

wt: 161.4

t/h: 54/63

WU: 45, 95, 115, 135, 155, 165 (20 min)

PP: 180,190,200 x 1

(off rack)

Sqt #21: 205,260 x 1
#20: 310
#19: 350
BPS #19: 350
BPS #20: 225

note to self: squatting to #22 and BPS from #21 are too low to be sensible

SLDL: 200 x 4, 275,315,320 x 3 (i usually do these and remove mats as I warm up, so off of say 2.25 inches, 1.5 inches, 0.75 inches, floor)

Snatch: 45 x 2, 65,70×1 as promised to Celica

(work-ish) sets: 15

time: 74

Everything is 1.01x better than before

Rex requested to return to jiu-jitsu and this pleased me. ¬†The coach said (after we’d paid) that he seemed to have better attitude/work ethic. ¬†This also pleased me. ¬†Yesterday he took 45 minutes to take out the trash. ¬†This pleased me less.

Coach Jr continues to insist that his name is “Kent” which i guess is an improvement on “Tit” but he now just says “tits” and yells “ah shit” randomly all the time, even though no one he hangs around talks like that.

wt: 163.2

t/h: 59/65

WU: 45,65,95,135,155,160

w/u time: 22

CGB: 185 x 5, 225 x 4, 265 x 2, 290 x 3

HBPS: 225,275,295,305 x 1

BTN: 95,135 x 4

rack SGDL #23: 225,315,375,405 x 1

sets: 14

time: 70

explanations: i have been training 6x a week as usual just didn’t post

so WU is warmup i do various cleans and presseries.

Now have 25 and 10 lb bumper plates. ¬†so prepare for tomorrow’s workout where i finish off by hitting a 70 lb snatch if i’m lucky.

Rude Tudor

JC Penneys is done.  I called this two years ago as Karena and my dad can confirm.  They’re squeezed between Walmart/Target, dollar stores, the Internet, and expensive designer/luxury goods (often available on the internet too). I’m sure more astute observers could have predicted it fifteen years ago.  Today they closed a bunch of stores.  This saves them $200 million.  Generally it’s a good sign when a business opens more locations => expands.  It’s only a matter of time before JC Penney realizes that they should extrapolate this trend and close all their locations and save even more money.



Jim Brown’s kufi doesn’t have a ladybug on the top but he probably didn’t steal his from his sister either.


Wt: 164

T/h: 60/75%

CGB: 300×2

HBPS: 315,325×1

BTN: 135,145 x 3

SGDL: 405,430 x 1

SH: 2 min

Time: 87

Villain profile: Eric “Rude” Tudor aka Fart Buttsmith

Voice: me imitating a guy doing a bad English accent

 Eric Tudor is the host of the Rude Tudor comedy hour, a popular children’s TV program in Townsville. (Think Krusty the Clown meets Terrence and Phillip).  But his aspirations go beyond being a flatulent buffoon.  He dreams of utilizing his Shakespearean training and one day owning his own theatre. Finally fed up with the lowbrow tastes of the citizens of Townsville, he disguises himself as a clown (yes the costume from his show), adopts the supervillain moniker of Fart Buttsmith and begins robbing banks. (Indicative of either his acting powers or the ineptitude of the Townsville police force, it takes the intellectual might of Bookman to deduce his true identity)

Alligator Dave

…is not the newest Rex Powerman character. ¬†But I’ve been enjoying his¬†music while I lift. Best described as raunchy speed country. ¬†I have no idea where I got these mp3s (I apparently have the Stoned and Confused album).

be warned even the song titles are dirty

btw Alligator Dave looks like a cross between Dwight Schrute and Elden Henson (Lenny from Butterfly Effect, Foggy Bottom or something like that from the Daredevil TV show that Karena loves)


Mon 3/20/17

wt: 166.4

t/h: 54/68

CPP: 155,165,175,185 x 3

BPS #16: 495  485 x 1

got cocky.

SLDL: 315,335 x 2

time: 79 min

Slop Spillman

Outrage of the day: changing lawnmower oil requires a PVC tube. ¬†You attach it to the oil drain plug like an upside-down J,and this drains the oil into the bucket/pan of your choosing – instead of the oil dripping onto the frame of the mower on its way down. ¬†Kept this stupid tube in my garage for what seemed like years, seeing it everyday & forgetting what it was for – but I know I didn’t throw it out. ¬† When it was time to do oil change of course the tube hid. ¬†At Lowes couldn’t find the size of the tube I needed on the internet (only replacements for $15) so I just estimated and bought one that was about the size i remembered for idk 79 cents.

Makeshift tube was better than nothing but still spilled some oil.  Went to get extra rags from other garage Рand found original tube.


Me: I swear the only yardwork I gave him was to pick up a couple of sticks.


notice how he says NUDE for no apparent reason in the middle

Edit: the weird “oh” sound i make is not a burp it’s my vocalization of Coach Jrs frequent vacant contemplative looks. It’s become a habit; now i just do it randomly (though afaik at least only when I’m around him)

wed 3/15/17

Wt: 166.4

Karena made Oreo pie for Rex’s birthday. one slice has 884 calories. She got mad at me for telling her this.

CPP: 185,190 x 2

BPS #16: 465 x 1

Time: 60

Obviously i did more than this in terms of multiple warmup sets but NCBY. Have become fond of muscle cleans as a start-the-workout kind of thing.


Wt: 164.6

CGB: 225,235,245,255,265 x 4

HBPS: 225,245,265,275,285,290 x 1

SGDL: 305,345 x 3


Wt: 165.2 parents are visiting; Karena made another pie; people keep taking us out to dinner

CPP: 195 x 1

BPS #16: 475 x 1

SLDL: 300 x 3

time: 69


wt: 166.8 parents have left now returning to regular diet of spinach and misery instead of cake and steak

CGB: 275,280,285 x 3

HBPS: 295,300,305,310 x 1

SGDL: 350,380 x 2

time: 79

Villain profile – Slop Spillman

Background: born Sam Spillman, he was the victim of neglect by his rich parents, who were too busy working, using the internet, and getting divorced to toilet train him.

Consequently he was an outcast at his high school, nicknamed Slop Spillman. Despondent after yet another day of mockery and rejection, he had an extended and hilarious accident that involved getting restaurant garbage dumped on him, being pursued by a pack of stray cats, hiding in a portapot which was emptied with him in it, sitting on a freshly painted park bench, being covered with flour that fell out of a truck, and falling into a sewer.

When Sam climbed out of the sewer, a mysterious old man was waiting. The kindly man helped him get cleaned up, gave him a place to stay, and built him a super-suit which could amplify his natural odors and emissions to horrific levels.

But this old man (really the Bookworm in disguise) expected to be repaid. He talked Slop into doing him a small favor – walking into the Townsville jewelry store in his superhero costume. ¬†Once inside, the Bookworm remote controlled Slop’s suit to release incapacitating amounts of fart gas, knocking the employees unconscious. ¬†The Bookworm (wearing a gasmask) then appeared on the scene and robbed the store.

After the robbery, Sam/Slop was then confronted with a moral dilemma.  Should he turn himself into the authorities and reveal the whereabouts of the bookworm?  Or should he give a bunch of stolen jewelry to the girl he is in love with in order to impress her?

Outrages of the day

wp-1489507652989.jpgWants to tear leaf but can’t find hand

The¬†finger song¬†has 600,000,000 views on youtube. ¬†I’d guess that the breakdown of those views is something like 6000 toddlers watching the video 100,000 times each. ¬†If you add in¬†all of its variants¬†¬†it’s well over a billion.

Quincy and I teamed up to make our own version and by teamed up I mean jackman has acknowledged my knack for making droll lyrics and Quincy apparently has a photographic memory for scatological doggerel much to Karena’s dismay.

Baby finger, baby finger, where do you poo?  I poo in my diaper, boo hoo hoo.

Sister finger…etc? I poo in the potty like you taught me to.

Brother finger: I poo on the floor because I belong in a zoo.

Mother finger: I am a lady – I do not do(o) doo.

Daddy finger: I’ll spank your butt-ox – Moo, moo, moo!


One of my bars has little rust spots visible thru the chalk on the knurling so I followed¬†these directions¬†and by followed, I mean I actually did what one of the commenter recommends with the white vinegar instead of coke and my bar still looks rusty. ¬†Maybe it is¬†less rusty and¬†I just couldn’t see the extent of the rust before because it was covered with chalk. ¬†(I also couldn’t find any liquid wrench, so I used WD-40 Silicone Dry but I think that’s the same thing; it didn’t make the bar slippery at all). ¬†So I’ll try it again this time with Coca-Cola. ¬†BTW I like writing “coke bar” in my todo list makes me feel cool.

Wt: 162

CGB: 290 x 2

Everything conspiring against me today including lack of time, lack of sleep, and this Remy Ma song which induced physical nausea .

HBPS: 310,315,320 x 1

BTN: 155,162.5 x 1

finally hit the elusive 1x BW BTN press which means if my evil clone is stuck on the back of my neck I can lift him off without bending my knees.

SLDL: 225,260 x 4

time: 70 min

Punch Drunkman

Rented Seven Wonders board game. Was pretty great. Don’t plan on buying but maybe for future Karena present.

But recently I’ve discovered the ultimate two player game without Hsilman’s help.  It is inexpensive, quick to setup, you can select the game length, and there’s no shortage of people who know how to play.  You can even do it with a computer but it’s not as fun.  I taught Karena how and at first she was reluctant but now you could almost say she enjoys it.  Ok I’m setting you up for a lame sex joke but it’s just chess.

I used to be really interested in chess (ca 2007).  I read some books on it, and learned about openings, and then went home and played my brother who afaik knows nothing about it.  He promptly trounced me 2 games in a row and I quit.  Nothing like spending time getting better at something that you should be good at naturally being a mathematically-tactically-strategically inclined thoughtful sort – and then finding out that you are actually worse than terrible.

Rex recently had a chess tournament at school.  He reached the semifinals

Me: You don’t even know how to play.

Rex: Yes I do!

Me: Then explain castling.

Rex: You’re making that up!

But I played him…and he won.  True I was distracted by Coach Jr and I have won our last 11 games.  Probably was good that he won though to build confidence


When you’re single/childless, Daylight Savings Time is unequivocally bad as you lose an hour of sleep.  The reverse is true of its ending.  When you have kids though, both extremes are blunted as they don’t know about it so in the spring they at least sieep in (and in the fall you don’t get your extra hour of sleep because they wake up at the crack of dawn)



Villain Profile: Punch Drunkman

Teased for his childhood shyness and fear of public speaking, he became a bully and dropped out of school.  His promising boxing career derailed due to alcoholism, he became a street thug, specializing in punching his victims in the head and rifling their pockets (after uttering his catchphrase).

Catchphrase: I’M GONNA KNOCK YOU OUT…HIT! (yes he actually yells hit when he hits you, yes this is totally telegraphing)

Voice sounds like: Me yelling.

Superpowers: Punching.  Drinking.


Sun 3/12/17

Wt: 162.6

T/h: 46/75

CGB: 255,265,275,282.5 x 3

HBPS: 275,295,300,305 x 1

BTN: 145,147.5,150,152.5 x 2

SLDL: 295,310,320,330 x 2

SH: 4:15

Time: 86


Mon 3/13/17

wt: 161.8

t/h: 48/68

CPP: 145,155,165,175,180 x 3

BPS #16: 455 x 1

SGDL: 385,405,425 x 1

SH: 5:00

time: 81


Pi and Powerman

Raspberry pi update

Our initial project was a retro game console. Strangely Rex wasn’t really interested in this so i finished it myself just to see it through.

Karena was pretty impressed, though…


But since i bought the thing to a) teach Rex “computer stuff” b) work on projects with him; i dismantled the arcade, burned Raspbian onto the sd card and got him started doing Minecraft pi. Which he seems a lot fonder of despite having some initial difficulties*

* Funny only to nerds: he was typing his Python program into the terminal and hitting enter after each line

Rex Powerman/Bookman graphic novel/animated TV show coming out in uh, February

Villain#1: The Bookworm

Talks like: the monarch from venture brothers

Profile: criminal mastermind. Can build robots and weapons. And robotic weapons. Thinks he can eat books (he can’t really; i mean he’ll do it to show off but eating paper is pretty awful). Bent on the destruction of all books. Ruined every volume in the First National Library in Townsville.

Catchphrase: Because…I’m the bookwoooorm!

(Okay this isn’t much of a catchphrase, i know, but if you say it every third sentence it kind of is unique. And also fun)

Sneak preview of episode one…

The Bookworm: Hahaha! I’ll eat every book in this library… Because I’m the bookwoooorm!

Bookman crashes through wall in the Bookmobile (armored van disguised as lame lending library)

Bookman: Books are for reading, not for eating!


wt: 164.6

t/h: 60/82%

CGB: 305,310,315 x 1

HBPS: 245,255,265,275,285 x 1

BTN: 127.5,132.5,137.5,142.5 x 3

SLDL: 265,275,285,295 x 3


time: 80

Sat 3/11

Wt: 163.0

T/h: 50/63

CPP: 190 x 1

BPS #16: 450 x 1

SGDL: 345,355,365,375 x 2

Reverse curl: 65 x 10


Time: 72

Sledgehammer pro tip: don’t hammer concrete that’s under a thin layer of dirt. You will get dirty – all at once.

Primitive People Parallel Play

Above: some important activity going on here but I’m not sure exactly what.


Above: I’m at playgroup. Time to do this.

I think one of the things that surprises first-time parents the most is how 1-2 year olds interact. ¬†Because they don’t. ¬†Not only do they not play together, they actually seem completely unable to see one another.

For example, Coach Jr goes to the play kitchen and reaches into a cabinet and a kid closes the door on his head. He didn’t do it on purpose; he just happened to be opening and closing that door and Coach Jr put his fat invisible head in the way. ¬†A minute later, Coach Jr yanked a plastic frying pan out of the kid’s hand, but according to my invisible toddler¬†theory, that frying pan looked like it was floating in midair.

But if you think about it, this is pretty close to how adults are supposed to behave around people they don’t know. ¬†It’s later childhood interactions that are abnormal and bizarre. ¬†Of course you shouldn’t seize objects from other people, bump into them, or close doors on their heads, but for example, if you were in a coffee shop or on a subway, how would you interact with people?

A. Approach them and say “My name is _____, what’s yours?”

B. Fidget, then¬†blurt out, “Do you like Minecraft? I’m a Level 25 Explorer on Pokemon Lego Star Wars!”

C. Sit down next to them and mimic what they do while muttering to yourself (aka actual parallel play)

D. Play with your plastic phone and ignore everyone else.


Above: Correct.


Above: Incorrect.


Above: Incorrect.


Above: The lad on the right is clearly socially aberrant.

Minnie Mouse Figurine: Quincy, do you want to be a doctor when you grow up?

Quincy: No.  I want to be a cookie.

Minnie Mouse: A cookie?  But someone could eat you up.

Quincy: I want to be a pretend cookie.

Me (concerned, dropping the falsetto): Do you mean… a cook?

Quincy: I want to be a pretend baby cookie.

Me: Sigh.

Tues, 3/7/17

wt: 163.6

CGB: 285,290,295 x 2; 300 x 1 (did 2 but 2nd was illegal)

HBPS: 300,305,310,315 x 1

SLDL: 225,235,245,255 x 4

BTN: 102.5,107.5,117.5,122.5 x 4

BBCurl: 75 x 12

time: 1:15

Wed, 3/8/17

wt: 163.0

t/h: 50/88%

CPP: 180,185 x 2

i always warm up with regular squats before BPS so going to stop typing them in

BPS #16: 445 x 1

SGDL: 295,315,325,335 x 3

SH: 4:10

Time: 72 min

She grunts at books

^my buddy telling me about his eight month old daughter.

Refused to try new car. Sigh. That evening my in-laws took away his old car. “In the morning he’ll only see the new one and he won’t even know the old one is gone”

He knew.

I’ll describe this look as “gratitude”

Eventually he found the new model adequate.

Rex rode his bike by Quincy and declared that he was giving her a “parking ticket”

I went to a storage auction because it was like a half mile from my house. There were only three units being foreclosed on. It was like Storage Wars in that you had to bid on the whole container without going inside or touching anything.  But unlike storage wars there was no drama and no odometer appeared to tell how much the stuff was really worth.  Units went for $330, 425, and 475. I didn’t bid. I already have three sheds that look identical on the inside and are filled with someone else’s stuff.

Saturday 3/4/17

wt: 166.4 cheat day yesterday

t/h: 45/63%

CGB: 250,260,270,280 x 3

HBPS: 285,290,295,300 x 1

BTN: 155,160,165  x 1

SLDL: 305,315,325 x 2

Time: 1:17

Sunday 3/5/17

Wt: 163.6

Me: i don’t know if I should post this pic


Cart Man

Poor Coach Jr. His cart handle is hanging by a thread. The cart is probably his favorite thing, surpassing even drum machine, Tracy toy, ball popper, and flip disk.


My in-laws got it for free. ¬†We can still use it like this. Instead of pushing him, i walk on the side and drag him in a circle but it’s only a matter of time before the final scrap of plastic breaks and centripetal force sends him hurtling into an anthill. Actually the cart handle was recalled in like 2010 and i called for the replacement bolt but I need an actual handle too – and they are all out of these. ¬†So I ordered him a brand new luxury car…

Hopefully when he wakes up he’ll be a little more excited.

Me: I love you Coach Jr

Coach Jr: uh uh Dada.

Me: I do love you.

Coach Jr: I do!

Me: Yes, I do.

Coach Jr: Oh Yeah!

I know this is like having a conversation with Eliza and I just know what to say to prompt the appropriate¬†memes…but still.

Coach Jr was squatting down and picking up Quincy’s hamper lid and throwing it like he does with his flip disk. I didn’t get the best¬†pictures of it but it reminded me of strongman and this¬†discussion.

Overheard during home school:


Quincy: I’m not available for that.

Karena: SIGH

Quincy: you’re not being right to me.

The raspberry pi & accessories:


Above: in case

We finally got a chance to work on this. In order to put the Retropie disk image on the SD card he needs either Windows, Linux, or Mac. ¬†He has a Chromebook. ¬†I could have just let him use my laptop, but I decided that it would be better if he used his own computer so we¬†installed Crouton. ¬†This took like half an hour. ¬†Then he created a password and immediately forgot what it was. He denied this, insisting that he was typing the password properly and that it was “unfair” and to be honest if anything is unfair in life it is computers and their capricious malfunctions, but I took the computer’s side and we reinstalled. ¬†We could not just delete the chroot because that would require a password. ¬†So he had to factory reset the Chromebook (which fortunately takes like 30 seconds, but at this point i’m really glad we decided to use his¬†computer). Even though I am trying to make Rex do all the work – and this violates the basic precepts of computer security – I insisted on choosing the username and password this time: ¬†rex/rex.

The Tracy Toy: Violet has a big box.

Tracy Toy: It’s full of gumballs.

Thu 3/2/17

wt: 162.2

t/h: 51/70%

CGB: 300,305,310,315 x 1  got but lifted ass off bench

HBPS: 225,235,245,255,265,275 x 1

BTN: 145,147.5,150 x 2

SLDL: 295,300 x 2

time: 1:08

Fri 3/3/17

wt: 164

t/h: 46/64%

CPP: 175,180,185 x 1

Sqt: warmup to 405

BPS #16: 435 x 1

BPS #15: 445,455,465 x 1

BPS #14: 495 x 1

SGDL: 335,355,375 x 2

time: 1:05

Visigothic History Month

…was going to start today as petty retaliation for having to attend children’s performance in Black History Month play at MIL’s church.


Proof that Rex is a Visigothic name

Rex was Frederick Douglass. Quincy was a reluctant Laila Ali and more reluctant (and though this is probably super offensive to say – adorable) slave, picking cotton balls off floor of aisle.

Me (week prior to performance): Frederick Douglass, huh? That’s cool. I’m reading his autobiography.

Karena: REALLY

Me: Well, i downloaded it.

Karena: …

Me (defensively): I read a John Brown biography a few years ago!

Karena: HMM


So i decided to create Visigothic History Month to give me some ethnic pride and force others to learn about my culture.


Pelagius of Asturias is a mouthful so his friends called him Don Pelayo.

Me: Happy Visigothic History Month. Did you know that in 722, Pelagius of Asturias defeated the Moors at the Battle of Covadonga? It marks the start of the Reconquista!

Karena: GO AWAY


Me: I’ve decided to postpone the start of Visigothic History Month until August.

Karena: …

Me: Because that’s the month in 410 AD when Alaric I sacked Rome.


It’s fine. People have been telling the Visigoths to go away for almost two thousand years.


My grandma (like Karena, only Visigothic by marriage) got a phone call (on her rotary dial phone). BTW my grandma lives on top of a mountain in the most desolate place in the Eastern United States.

Caller: grandma, i need help I’m in the Bahamas and my wallet got stolen and etc

Not my grandma

For some reason my grandma thought it was me (as opposed to my brother who likes to go, and is 1000 x more likely to go to the Bahamas for example he went to Aruba for honeymoon and recently took business trip to Florida although the recent birth of Antonio will probably slow down this wanderlust)

Grandma: oh my goodness. What is target? What is gift card? How can money go through a wire? Now i¬†have¬†heard of Western Union. But they wouldn’t come up the mountain here in the winter. We once had a nice man with a horse…. He was friends with your great uncle Johnny. Well, your father’s great uncle he would have been… Did you get the newspaper clippings I sent you? We’ve been getting so much snow here… Oh my the Bahamas that’s so exciting. But what about Karena and the children? ¬†I got Quincy’s Valentine card by the way. It was adorable…

(Several minutes later)

Grandma: …who is this again?

Caller (patiently): Your grandson, uh… Couch.

Fortunately my name is hard to pronounce correctly. She called the sheriff (my great great uncle Johnny’s friend who still rides that horse but i doubt has jurisdiction in Nigeria)

Tuesday, 2/28/17

wt: 161.8

t/h: 58/83%

CGB: 280,285,290,295 x 2

HBPS: 285,295,305,310 x 1

BTN: 125,130,135,140 x 3

SLDL: 275,280,285 x 3

time: 1:07

Wed, 3/1/17

wt: 161.8 iron will fist of steel month concluded with me buying two bags of Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Lindor Truffles on clearance from Walmart for a buck a bag but not eating any because it would have put me over my calorie limit for the day. The other members of my family were not as disciplined so i hid the rest of them

t/h: 63/93%

CPP: tried some muscle cleans for Celica got up to 95 idk it was fun 140,150,160,170 x 3

Squat warmup to 365

BPS #17: 395,405,415 x 1

BPS #16: 425 x 1

SGDL: 305,315,325 x 3

PU55 x 11

time: 1:02


Ew… jelly, bro?

Overheard during home school lesson…


Quincy: Sorry i thought i was a bird

 I like La Coka Nostra but I’m surprised this album is good. I thought Everlast quit rap to sing the blues. Also he is pushing sixty.

wt: 163.4

t/h: 55/60%

CPP: 170,175,180 x 1

warmed up with regular squats to 315

BPS#19: 345

BPS#18: 355,365,375

BPS#17: 385

bps = bottom position squats even though 19 is marginally parallel and 18 and 17 a bit higher

SGDL: 375,395,415 x 1

time: 1:10


When i left to join the Army, my mother discovered him and gave him food. She looked into it and found out that he was missing, and his name was Moonbeam (his sister’s name was Sunbeam). He had travelled over five miles, and the owner said my parents could keep him. My mom called him Mooney.

You can see by the pictures that he was super soft and fluffy; he was also the gentlest beast I’ve ever known. My kids would be very excited to see him and when they were tiny would toddle after him and squeal and pet him (with our guidance: GENTLY. NOT THAT END.) He would patiently allow himself to be patted by their little hands (when he finally had enough he’d just relocate to a child inaccessible place)

Mooney went to Heaven yesterday and we will all miss him.  RIP Mooney Рyou were a good and beloved cat.

Homer Sampson

Me: … So Odysseus hardened the wooden stake in the fire, and drove it into Polyphemus’ eye while he was asleep… Hey, eat your pizza or I’m gonna stop telling the story.

Wt: 162.4

CGB: 245,255,265,275 x 3

HBPS: 260,265,270,275,280

SLDL: 260,265,270 x 3

BTN: 100,105,110,115,120 x 4

Time: 1:11

Do you like to go?

Coach Jr. likes to go. If someone visits and drives away without him he gets very angry.  He also likes to go outside and spends most of his waking hours wandering around the yard tearing leaves, bouncing his rubber frisbee in the driveway, or being pushed in endless circles in his little car.

Above: The man is putting on his shoes. This means he will take me outside.

Above: He took the girl and left me behind. Betrayal! Outrage!

Above: The man will not forget me today.

Wt: 161.8 we had pizza because Karena didn’t get the turkey thawed in time so it was still cooking. I had two slices. I stopped Rex at three. Quincy had 0.2 but cried when I gave Coach Jr some of her unwanted slice. (I sang her the NCBY song) Coach Jr ate approximately 3.3 (Karena cuts his food into postage stamp size pieces which he then wads into his mouth all at once) this marks the first time I’ve been outeaten by a one year old. Yesterday he ate about half a yam but threw a handful at my shoe for no reason except i guess to punish me for taking Quincy to dance class.

After my daily calories were consumed…


Me: ūüė•

CPP: 135,145,155,165 x 3

Sqt: 435 x 1, 455

I did some bottom position squats to punish myself. After my workout i checked my old blog posts and unblogged notebooks. Apparently in 2014 i made a post where i decided to do rack training and bottom position squats (Nice Rack). Then i stopped in summer 2015 but i never wrote down why exactly. Probably it wasn’t effective. Thinking of doing it again. Probably I’m an idiot.

SGDL: 345,355,365 x 2

Time: 1:19 including moping

Yesterday’s riddle answer: .223 = 5.56 mm

May 56th

5*LT = 2*MJ

Prize to whoever figures it out first and by prize i mean nothing.

Also Celica you will be glad to know that Rex is building a raspberry pi arcade and by arcade i mean we’re going to connect it to our TV and play retro games not like build a cabinet and buy joysticks.

I know i told you that i didn’t like video games but i saw the list of arcade ROMs and there were some that fell into the category of only saw a few times/didn’t have enough quarters as a kid. Since I’m paying for the parts and providing advice/fine motor skills, i doubt he’ll mind if i load galaga 88, gauntlet 2, or blasteroids on it. Or whatever they were called. Also NES contra IOT impress him and Karena with my skillz. And you reminded me about 1941. And there were a few others…

Rex: Dad i want to install Raspbian and learn Python. Please.

Me: hang on lemme just beat this level

Wt: 163.4

CGB: 295,300,305,310 x 1

HBPS: 225,230,235,240,245,250,255

SLDL: 245,250,255 x 3

BTN: 147.5, 150 x 2, 152.5 x 1

Time: 1:06

Tracy toy

Karena’s aunt gave Coach Jr this leap frog speak and spell thing that she bought at a garage sale. You have to go on the internet in order to configure it so until i got around to doing that, it called him Tracy and we called it his Tracy Toy. We still call it that and he calls it “T” which i guess he thinks is his initial either way.

<Brag>Anyway the other day, Karena told him to press E, and he did, first time go (& is on video). And last night he had another toy with a keyboard on it and would press a letter, then press the same letter on the Tracy toy. Which is pretty good IMO for a guy who thinks a toilet is something you stand in to make the TV work. In the field of other dubious accomplishments he could distinguish axis and Allies from other computer activities before he turned one (and would give me away to Karena by laughing)</brag>

Rex, Quincy and Karena went fishing on her dad’s boat.


Quincy: Rocks.


Turns out she was throwing grandpa’s lead fishing sinkers.

Wt: 163.4

Bags of frozen spinach are $1.44 at Walmart. I’ve been eating one a day which is six servings worth. This entitles me to sing the Popeye the sailorman song whenever anyone says the word spinach. I’m a lot like Popeye and by that i mean I’m nothing at all like Popeye but wish i was and enjoy singing the song incorrectly and making the toot toot noise (with my mouth)

Sqt: 385,405,415 x 2

CPP: 180,185,190 x 1 195

Could of push pressed that but missed the clean. Could have probably tried a few more times and gotten it but just accepted the fact that I’m not going to be on the Olympic weightlifting team and moved on. Still like cleaning and push pressing and will keep it in my routine.

SGDL: 295,315,325 x 3

Switched the two deadlift variants because one workout was taking way longer than the other.

PU55 x 10

Time: 1:02

New games

The box of Catan was badly damaged so i had to send it back. The new one came today and we played already because Rex had the day off. I won even though Karena “cheated” by building her houses illegally close (i didn’t notice until long afterwards and she didn’t know better)

I’m 3-1 at Waterdeep and 0-2 at Puerto Rico so it’s clear which is the better game and which is totally unfair and rigged.

A new board game and bookstore opened in our town and they have game rentals. We rented Machi Koro which was fun/quick but there’s like an optimal strategy or seems to be and a lot of the cards don’t get used. ¬†Online they said the expansion pack solves this.

Reading “The Seven Basic Plots” by Christopher Booker. ¬†Highly recommend so far although it’s long and I’m only like 10% done.

Anyway good times.  Fun fact: a cup of movie theater popcorn has 82 calories.

wt: 164.0

CPP: 165,170,175 x 2

Squat: 325,345,365 x 3

SLDL: 225,230,235,240 x 4

PU55 x 9

SH: 4 min

time: 0:58

Uncle Coach


Baby Antonio.

Born 2/19.

My brother and I both immediately noticed that this date is auspicious as it was the dismissal time (2:19 PM) when we were in middle school. ¬†Everybody else on the planet including his wife could not care¬†but that’s ok.

I’ve been training Coach Jr for almost a year now to do a little cheer and sing A-N-T-O-N-I-O. ¬†Coach Jr has no idea what it is all about of course but he likes when I wave his arms around and shout letters in his face. The best part is that’s not actually my nephew’s real name.

Tit pictures

The good news is that Coach Jr has started saying his name. And unlike Quincy he did not go through a year-long phase of insisting his name was “name.”


Me: what’s your name?

Coach Jr: Tit.

Me: HAHAHAHA OMG listen to how he says “coach”

Coach Jr (beaming with pride at making Daddy so happy): Tit!

Karena: ūüėí

Later, when Karena is not around…

Me: Say “tit”

Coach Jr: Tit.

Me: Hahaha! Tit!

Coach Jr: Tit!

Me: OMFG you’re the best baby ever.




Me:lol whut


Me: is it because…? Do they not know what that means?


Me: you can’t be @#$& serious no one is named tit, haha WTF (pounds table, falls on floor laughing, rolls around for some time)

So Karena asked about it. Apparently her mom and her friends didn’t think anything of it until one day her dad heard about it…

My father-in-law (ca 1980): you can’t be @#$& serious no one is named tit, haha WTF (pounds table, falls on floor laughing, rolls around for some time)

Top: at home

Above: and at Grandma’s house.

Above: pair of tits.

Wt: 164.2

CGB: 235,245,255,265 x 3

Hbps: 275,280,285

SGDL: 335,355,365 x 2

BTN: 130,132.5,135 x 3


Time: 0:59