Blog moving

To https://ruinchristmas.net/blog

All future posts will be over there. 

So if you’re one of my three regular readers make sure to follow that one.  

Edit: i need to install some plugin before you can follow should be done by 20170519.

If you’re one of the other 7,362 people who follow this blog for ill-defined but suspicious reasons I’m sure you’ll find your way there eventually.

All past posts are there too, but I’m still working on the formatting so right now there’s some flowers and etc. 

This blog will stay here forever and you’re still welcome to comment on any of the older posts.

Emails from Rex

Rex likes getting email from my parents. They write him long, thoughtful letters. He is pretty busy during the school week but on the weekend we have a conversation like this…

<>Rex: can i play video games?


Me: Why don’t you reply to your grandparents email?


Rex: aw… Do i have to?


Me: No.  i will tell them that you don’t love them and you don’t want any more presents and your name shall be stricken from the list of grandchildren and you can just do yard work and pushups instead.


Five minutes later Rex has written an email that looks something like this:


How are you?  I am fine*


What is 999999999+9999999?


Did you know that Edward III (13 November 1312 – 21 June 1377) was King of England from 25 January 1327 until his death; he is noted for his military success and for restoring royal authority after the disastrous and unorthodox reign of his father, Edward II?


Quincy spilled her milk at dinner and she cried. Coach Jr pooped his pants and said a bad word.


I forgot what my favorite food is.


The answer is i don’t know how.


Yes.


I went to camp Smythe last week. I got to level two which is gold


Love, Rex


* he starts every letter like this – i think i taught him this when he was three – as a joke – and it has proven to be the most durable thing I’ve ever taught him)


Now he has to send all emails to me first for approval


I wish there was someone i could send these blog posts to for approval. They could show me to fix the font. Deal with it.

Miss you guys

lately: bought new Husqvarna (Swedish) weed-wacker

Rex: portrayed Ray Charles for school thing, did world’s worst science fair project, earned gray belt in jiu-jitsu

Quincy: bought her 10 new colors of play-doh because it was a father-daughter activity that we enjoy.  She won’t let me have any.

Coach Jr: has giant balding head, undersized but overfat body, stopped spitting up, has four teeth, eats mush; can’t crawl but rolls across floor to locomote.

Karena: promoted to like lieutenant colonel of boy scouts. new position takes tons of time.  Salary: $0.  Number of recipes involving an open fire and tin foil that she’s told me about today: 3

Me: almost killed (accidental crushing not homicidal frenzy) a kid who ran up to me and tugged on my shorts when I was about to descend in a squat with 410. bought my bench into jiu-jitsu place so I could bench.  learned that military/push/btn pressing only does not improve bench pressing at all.

May elaborate on any of these stories. May instead relapse into 3 more months of silence.

Super Bowl Quiz

Match the person with their actions during the game.

  1. Me
  2. Karena
  3. Rex
  4. Quincy
  5. Coach Jr.
  6. Father-in-law
  7. Mother-in-law

a) ate a large Pizza Hut pizza plus a slice of another one. Played Axis and Allies on laptop during second half.

b) wore 49er’s jersey. Rooted for Panthers bc from Carolina. Mocked person playing Axis and Allies, then fell asleep on couch, missing 4th quarter.

c) noticed there was a football game and could identify teams playing, but played video games the entire time except when eating pizza or complaining.

d) did not notice there was a football game or pizza.  Played a game for three hours on tablet that seemed to involve Minnie Mouse and farting noises.

e) wore Carolina Panthers sweatshirt that was too small so gut hung out. Rolled about happily on floor until end of fourth quarter when Panthers were doomed.  Then vomited and cried hysterically.

f) watched game, slumped on couch like normal human

g) was at CHURCH during 1st half

Hint: 1-E

 

 

Happy New Year

Let’s see, what’s new?  Played in the Axis and Allies Revised (unoffical) World Championships, was one and done.

Since you asked, I was Allies, and nothing too shameful happened.  I didn’t get Britain or L.A. invaded.  German tanks didn’t roll into Moscow in round three.  My opponent’s strategy was to make a lot of fighter planes with Germany.  This made it difficult for the Allies to get their act together because their boats would get sunk.  The UK was able to get some troops in to help the Russians, though.  And the US moved heavy into Africa and at one point got the army as far as Trans-Jordan IOT confront the giant Japanese army forming up in Persia.  However then I had to pull back to Egypt.  And relinquish control of the Caucasus to Japan.  At that point I surely could have held out a lot longer holed up in Moscow, but didn’t feel like prolonging the inevitable so I surrendered in Round 11.

Anyway, getting a little tired of the game and may try other versions – or even other games.

Lifting going fair, squatting regularly over 400 again finally.  Doing lots of standing presses due to lack of good bench at jj gym.  Lots of RDL, like 330×6 or so.  Weight back down to 172 (was up to 180 or so around holidays)

Karena, kids are good.  Coach Jr. is six months old and was supposed to eat “food” but refused to and I guess chose to remain a baby for another six months instead.

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The New Gym

So I dropped idk like a thousand bucks on a gym in my garage.  Now I don’t have time to lift there.  At my son’s jiu-jitsu gym, they had a nice squat rack but only like 300 lbs of weights.  Since I’m there 4 times a week I brought over some more: 2×45 plates, and some tens and 2.5s bc they didn’t have any.  No one lifts there but the owner and a couple other MMA fighters/instructors.

My routine is now squat/press/RDL 4 days a week for an hour, then i try to do bench on weekends.

There was a really cheap CAP barbell which i bent into buffalo bar shape within a week. The owner didn’t care but I brought my own (also CAP) from home.

It was very quiet and nice.  I could see if Rex was acting up and I could hear when he started to go live so i could finish my set and watch.  There was sometimes 3-6 fat people doing a cardio/kickboxing type class (“FIT TO FIGHT” or something) going on behind me by the punching bags but we kind of mutually ignored each other completely.  Pretty sure a 300 lb woman jumping rope does not want me to even glance in her direction and that’s fine.

The kids have zero interest in me, also fine.  Dad lifting weights.  Not exciting compared to black belt from Brazil, MMA fighter with picture on poster, or Muay Thai instructor who can kick a bag and make a loud noise approximately 1400 times an hour.

Even the other parents were cool.  About 0.42 “That’s a lot of weight” or “I don’t train legs because I have a bad knee” comments per individual which is a darn good ratio.

The only person who would ever pay me attention was this 4 year old girl.  Her brother does jiu-jitsu with Rex, her dad does the adult class, and her mom does the bouncing around class.  The girl tends to disrupt the mom’s exercise, so to keep her busy, the mom would let her bring dozens of My Little Ponies and play with them in the squat rack, which until I started training there was always totally empty.

Beginning of workout:

Me: Uh, sweetheart, can you perhaps consider, uh…

Mom: Madeline! Move your ponies so the man can lift weights!

Near end of workout, bored between sets:

Me: So who’s that one?

Madeline: Pinky Pie.

Me: Is that your favorite?

Madeline: No, my most favorite is Apple Jack.

Then I came in the other day and they’ve got like 2000 more square feet of mats.  The squat rack is moved right by the door.  So anyone coming in and out is like a foot from the end of the barbell.  The new mats apparently attracted new customers. So now there’s blasting music and I get to work out surrounded by fatties but also now hot girls in spandex and regular guys.

Here is a diagram:

Door   Rack X   X  X X X X
x  O  X  Me  X  X  X  X  X
x  X X X X  X  X  X  X   X
Boxing Ring here>
V Kids rolling around V

The Xs are people bouncing around to 80s pop and punching the air. The O is the instructor shouting motivational slogans.  Kind of interesting. If i dropped the bar off my back it would literally kill ten people.

Also now Madeline has to play with her ponies in the boxing ring so I don’t have anyone to talk to.

A Laundry and a Social Problem

So babies are pretty much all the same.  They’re cute, they poop their pants, they are greedy for milk, and they don’t know anything. Oh I’m sure your kid is remarkable in one of those categories. He’s very unique! How interesting.

So I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I’m bragging, but Coach Jr. is an exceptional infant: No baby has ever spit up as much as he has.  He sometimes spits up more than the amount he consumes.  Sometimes he spits up hours after he’s last eaten.

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Has to wear a cravat because exceptional.

For those of you who are like “you need to burp him!” or “try not feeding him so much” or any other common sense suggestion, STFU because a) we have two other kids b) we have the internet c) Coach Jr has four grandparents and three great-grandparents who are full of suggestions that don’t work either.

BTW my mother-in-law has kicked him out of her house twice

“KARENA YOU SHOULD BRING THE BABY OVER.”

[thirty minutes, six outfits, three soiled couch cushions, and four puddles of milk vomit on the floor later…]

“I THINK IT’S TIME THAT YOU TWO HEADED HOME”

Karena consulted various medical webpages.  If the kid is 1) growing, 2) not in any discomfort, and 3) it’s not like black or red or pea soup colored; according to one of the webpages: “You don’t have a medical problem, you have a laundry and social problem.”

After the Veterans Day assembly we went to the steak buffet place because they had free lunch for veterans. (no steak btw at lunch buffet it’s fine it’s free)

During this lunch, Coach Jr. spat up:

  1. on my arm so that it got in my forearm hair.
  2. on Karena’s shirt
  3. on her mother’s scarf
  4. on her dad’s pants so it looked like he wet himself (he untucked his shirt to hide it)

When we were all done, Karena picked him up and said, “LET’S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE HE DOES IT AGAIN.” At that exact moment, he spewed a good volume directly onto the floor.

Karena’s mom added a dollar to the tip.

On Veterans Day…

…Rex’s school had an assembly.  Quincy was in preschool, but the rest of us attended including Coach Jr and Karena’s parents (her dad is an Air Force vet; so is Karena and her brother).

Coach Jr was pretty good. He likes brass band type music (i’m not making this up) so he was pleased by the patriotic song selection.

V__6C6D

We tried to spot Rex in the stands in the section marked “4th Grade” but failed. First we thought he might have been hiding from us but it seemed unlikely that he could keep slouched down behind someone else for an entire hour.  Then both me and Karena’s dad spotted him, but on both occasions Karena informed us that no, that was a girl (the same girl both times btw).  I speculated that maybe he was either in the nurse’s office or detention.  It turned out that his class was just sitting down in front.

Besides looking for Rex and waving Coach Jr’s hands in time to marching music, the bulk of the assembly was spent waiting for this slideshow.  Specifically waiting for our pictures to show up.  We were told to send in a picture of ourselves in uniform.

Here’s mine:

basic

Taken illegally by my battle buddy while the drill sergeants were with the rest of the guys at chow. We were supposed to be guarding the weapons, not posing with them IOT have pics to impress girls with. We weren’t even supposed to have a camera. BTW in the row of photos from home at the far right, third one from top is a guy in a dark shirt and a blonde in a white shirt.  That’s me and Mary Beth (from letters from basic).

Anyway, the pictures came up, set to music. “LOOK THERE’S YOU, COACH.”  “Haha, there you are, Karena!”  “DAD, LOOK. IT’S YOU.” “Huh? What’s me?”  “Up on the screen, sir.” “What?” “NEVER MIND” Then I pointed out the irony of coming here and waiting for these pictures to be on the screen for five seconds, when we owned the pictures and could see them any time we wanted, and Karena and I felt foolish.

Afterwards we could talk to Rex’s class if we wanted.  We wanted so we headed down there.  I am actually used to talking to kids about the Army and prepared for their zany questions. They did not disappoint.  A tip for dealing with kids’ questions: If they ask something utterly incomprehensible, just answer a completely unrelated question.

Kid: Did you ever make like a launcher? For car or not?

Me: The weapon in the picture is an M240B. It weighs 27.6 pounds and can fire up to 950 rounds a minute.

Kids: [look satisfied]

Also if they ask you how many people you killed…

Me: I killed 1,981,487 people. I have the record. Once I killed a guy by spitting on him from a helicopter. Another time I killed two guys who were running away from me just by shouting at them. They were so scared that they died.

Kids: [look satisfied]

Other actual questions:

Kid: Did you carry a sniper?

I knew what he meant so I told him about a sniper in our unit instead of making fun of him.

Kid: Did you battle?

I love the video game/bey blade/pokemon verbiage but I also didn’t make fun of him.

Me: Yes, I was in Iraq. That was a war.  A war is like, many battles.

I spoke for three sentences and answered about thirty questions. Two older vets showed up and since now there were four people waiting for their turn, I just said I was done.

Karena went next. She was not thrilled to follow me.

Karena: I WAS IN MILITARY INTELLIGENCE. WE HAD A LOT OF SECRETS THAT WERE TOP SECRET. I WORKED INSIDE A VAULT.  INSIDE THE VAULT WAS ANOTHER VAULT WHERE WE PUT THE MOST VALUABLE SECRETS.

[crickets]

Kid: Did you jump out of airplanes too?

Karena: …

Karena: REX WAS BORN IN AN AIR FORCE HOSPITAL.

Class: ahahaha!

Rex: [looks proud]

Karena’s dad spoke next, then a guy who was in Vietnam on a submarine that had nuclear missiles on it. He was pretty interesting. I would have asked him questions myself if the kids didn’t have like fifty thousand which covered everything imaginable.  Finally the last guy was a Nam vet too and worked at an ammo depot.  He told about booby traps.

Teacher: Class, those are called IUDs. Can you repeat that?

Class: I-U-D!

Me (hurriedly): uh, actually, they call them IEDs now. Improvised Explosive Devices.

Teacher: Oh, right.  What’s an IUD then…(turns red) I.E.D. class! I.E.D!

The guy talked about getting a week R&R in Hawaii after 6 months in Nam.

Kid: Did you see a volcano?

Vet: Oh sure, yeah, we saw the volcanoes.

[five minutes and sixteen questions later, same kid waving hand frantically]

Kid: DID IT ERUPT?

Axis and Allies Revised

The point of a blog is to provide interesting content.  Since I feel I’ve done my share of that over the years (Okay fine a lot of posts were like this: KILLING BEES Squat 45×10, 135×4, etc etc) I’ll be taking time in the upcoming week or two to talk about a hobby that interests no one who reads this blog and probably only about 100 people in the world, most of them who live in Northern Europe.  (I was inspired by you guys who get to talk about making model robots and riding bicycles). I’m pretty sick still so this post will be short. Just wanted to keep my 2-day posting streak alive.

The best board game/board game played on a computer (i’ve never actually even seen the RL game, they stopped making it several years ago) is Axis and Allies Revised.  I play it on software called TripleA.  You can play this version of AA, other versions of the game, and other war games live or via email.  I mostly play by email because i can play my turn in a few minutes, iike while feeding a baby, and don’t have to sit in front of the computer for 2+ hours.

A brief history of the franchise: The original AA, called Classic, is pretty good but among experienced players, it was recognized that it was heavily biased in favor of the Allies (kind of like the real war). To balance it out – and to balance all of the games, players use a bidding system.  Basically it just means that the disadvantaged side gets extra units before the game starts.  An extra tank for Germany, and another boat for Japan or something like that. Another problem with the original is that there’s an optimum strategy to win that more or less requires only buying infantry in huge quantities.

Revised was next, i think it came out in 2004 or so.  Then in about 2010 they replaced it with AA 1942.  Actually there are now 3 versions of AA: 1941, which is a beginner’s version (it’s still pretty complicated but Rex can play it and it’s fairly short), 1942, and 1940 Global.  Global is really two games AA Europe and AA Pacific, you spend about 85 dollars on each one, then put the boards together and it’s insanely complex.  Here’s an analogy:  1941 = checkers, Revised = chess, 1940 = 3dimensional chess with thousands of pieces.  1942 = chess but they changed a few of the rules and for some reason people online almost never play it but at any given time there’s probably 5 global and 3 revised games going on

Revised is a semi-accurate replica of WW2. Notably, there will be constant push back and forth across the German/Russian lines, control of Africa and the Middle East is key, the US needs a couple of turns to get into the fight but then they can bring a lot of manpower and equipment, the invasion of Britain by Germany is possible but extremely unlikely.  There are some key deviations from reality however.  It’s typically in the best interest of Japan (and feasible) to build a lot of tanks in mainland Asia, and drive them towards Moscow. And it’s usually in the best interest of the US to completely ignore Japan so there tends not to be any fighting at all in the Pacific.  Finally, of course, since it is a game, there are no civilians or politics to consider. In most games,Japan conquers Hawaii, India, and Australia, and it’s not only expected, the Allies will pull troops out of those places to use them elsewhere if possible.

Remember Pearl Harbor!

…Actually we’re gonna forget it.  We just evacuated Hawaii.

Time for bed, will ramble on more about this tomorrow.

Over a month

since i said i’d be back soon.  now i mean it.  Thank you for the thoughtful comments which I have either ignored or not even bothered to approve. everybody sick in the house.  But on a good note been able to lift daily at my son’s jiu-jitsu gym.

Karena is combing Coach Jr.’s hair

Me: Ha ha, poor balding Coach Jr.

Karena: HE’S NOT BALDING

Me: Then why are you giving him a comb-over?

Karena: …

Karena: FINE. YOU’RE BALDING TOO

Me: Maybe a little in the front.  And some people go bald in the back.  But I’ve never seen anyone go bald on the right before.

Karena: POOR COACH JR.

Investing in the future

somecowguyboy writes:

Serious question; do you guys like having kids? It sounds horrible.

Allow me to make an analogy.  Children involve a lot of work and sacrifice, but pay off in the long run. Like investing your money – you sacrifice immediate happiness in favor of the future.  Jaysun and I, with our large broods, are sensibly maxing out our IRAs and 401k contributions.  Fatman and Hsilman are basically rushing to a supermarket to cash their paychecks and spending it all on coke and hookers that same night.  Who will be happier in the long-term?

The answer is, probably Fats and Hsilly, because my analogy sucks, and in order for an investment to be worthwhile, it has to have a positive return.  Let’s look at the ROHI (return of happiness invested) of one specific case, namely my parents’ investment in me.

Years 0-18  Extreme negative return. Investment actually fights with other, newer assets in the portfolio.  Takes a lot of time to  manage, as well as costly fees.

Year 25: Slight negative return.  Financial drain has ceased and investment no longer needs to be actively managed, but sitill comes over once a week, mostly to use the washing machine.

Year 38: Return: ??? I guess silightly positive if you like playing with grandchildren.

So all in all, this was one dog of any investment, though I would not say it has significantly under(or over) performed other assets in its class.

Seriously though, i think another point is that if i went on about how much i love my kids or how much fun it is to play blocks with Quincy, talk toRex about WW2, or coddle Coach Jr, it would be boring and smarmy.  Much better to tell the story of how Coach Jr spit a quart of milk on Karena’s hair yesterday then pooped his pants.

Imaginary Snacks

Took the kids to the pool.  On the way home:

Quincy: I want a lolly bar! (x100)

Me: We don’t have any.  I don’t even know what that is.

Quincy: I want a lolly bar!

Rex: What’s a lolly bar?

Me: There’s no such thing.  Like a uni-pop.  They don’t exist.

Quincy: I want a uni-pop!

She also wanted a “tri-clone”.  That’s when I stopped amusing myself by tempting her with imaginary snacks because Rex threw her Go Dog Go book into the back seats and she screamed for the remainder of the drive home.

Half an hour a week of swimming with my kids is like four hours of regular time.


We just got this so she could float around without me having to hold her and consequently get kicked in the balls whenever she gets excited.  She calls it her “crab suit”:

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Will be back soon…

Still been lifting, but every other day.  Sleeping about 3-4 hrs a night.  Not exactly hitting any PRs.  Weight still good about 168.  My brother got married and I was the best man.  I gave a funny (IMO) speech.  Coach Jr. is still shlumpy.  Karena refuses to play Axis and Allies any more.  Now I play online (badly) while I feed Coach Jr.  When I have a bit more time I’ll write a real post and answer comments.  When I lift real weights, I’ll even post a workout log.  I have not been reading anyone’s blog.  I’ll do that too.  5/3/1 still sucks.

Just In Case…

…something crazy happens and I don’t re-finish the other post that got deleted last night, here’s a training log.  Cause I still train and I’m trying to pre-empt a hsilman/fatman “RIP coach” post.  I have a backlog of 5/3/1 defenders to troll when i get around to approving their comments.

temp: 87F yes i bought a $3 thermometer

humidity: 76% it comes with a humidiometer

wt: 170.6 days of eating naughty foods have brought me from 166 all the way back to this. though i did yard work for 3 hours in 96-100F weather so maybe tomorrow will be better.

High Bar Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 275,280×6, 285×5, 290,295,300×4

have developed a nice scrape on my traps from a)being soft b)high bar technique being rusty letting bar slide around.  feels like a sunburn. awful.

Pause Bench: 45x10p,135×4, 225×3, 245×6, 250,255,260,265×5

BTN Press: 115×6, 120×5, 125×4

RDL: 225,290,295,300×3

time: 1:34

latest “achievements” that i never posted: 180 MP, 162.5 BTN, 420 sumo, 415 SGD

Coach Jr

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Have cute pictures but instead post this where you can barely see the baby bc my calves look thick in it.

also have amusing stories but post lame workout log instead:

wt: 171.2 brb eating at steak buffet (2 rolls, 2 salads, 3 unsweet teas, 5 steaks, 3 desserts) while wife is in labor.

Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225,295,335,360,365,370,375×2

JM Press: 45x10p, 135×4, 195,200×6, 205,210×5, 215,220,225×4

Sumo: 225×3, 315×2, 365, 405x1

Mil Press: 135×2, 155,175,177.5x1

RDL: 225,260×6

time: 1:30

5/3/1 is “Communist Plot to Weaken America,” Cuban Defector Reveals

a backlog of recent workouts so here’s the latest only.  I’ve been lifting in general 3 days on, 1 day off.

wt: 168.8

Squat: 45×10, 135×4, 225,295×3, 325×2, 345,350,355×3

squatting has really taken a downturn so I resumed doing it every time i train. my hopes are that 2 x mediocre workouts = 1 decent one

Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 235,240,245×6, 250,255×5, 260,265×4

Snatch Grip DL: 225×2, 315,365,395x1

BTN Press: 115,130,135,140×3

RDL: 225,255×6

time: 1:22

40 Celsius

lifts are good, will post more soon.

been hanging out with my wife’s little cousins who are 8 and 5.

Axis and Allies 1941 came today.  Rex excited.  Karena not.  Quincy undoubtedly excited to put the pieces in her mouth and/or dance them haphazardly across the board.  I’ve been waiting for 25 years to play a game of A&A against someone other then myself (which was less than thrilling: I mean Operation Barbarossa is kind of pointless if Stalin knows that Germany is going to invade)

Cuerno de Chivo

I can’t get enough narcocorrido music

basically my favorite band of all time – Los Tucanes de Tijuana


wt: 170.0

Front Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225,270,275,280×1, 195,200,205,210×3

Pause Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225,250,255,260,265,270,275×3

Snatch Grip Deads: 135×3, 225×2, 315,365,385x1

Mil Press: 135×2, 155,160,165,170,175x1, 120×6

RDL: 210,215,220×6

time: 1:44


so hot today that a 13 yr old girl puked at jiu jitsu.  it was her first day; wonder if she will return.  the assistant coach fought his first MMA fight Saturday; he is 6’0 and 170 btw.  He won by knockout in six seconds.  He’s a really nice and humble guy i was excited and proud for him.

Biblical

So there was the frog in the gym

http://www.thebricktestament.com/exodus/the_second_plague/ex08_03b.html

On the fourth of July, we had to leave before the fireworks started because of giant june bugs.  Like to show how bad they were, when I announced that we were going home, Karena, who actually likes going places, did not even object.  Also mosquitos which we were prepared for, and ants in Quincy’s pants, which we were not.

http://www.bricktestament.com/exodus/the_third_plague/ex08_17b.html

Then yesterday i killed the following insects in the gym (keep in mind I am not an entomologist)

  1. a giant flying ant
  2. either a bigger flying ant or a baby wasp, not sure which
  3. a spider about the size of a quarter.  When i stepped on it, what looked like tiny ants started scurrying every which way (i assume they were actually baby spiders but either way – disgusting) I blasted them with insect killer and sucked the whole mess up with the vacuum this only wasted like eight minutes; awesome
  4. what i thought was maybe a rock – because it had been sitting in the same place for two hours – but being bug-suspicious I stepped on it to find out and it turned out to be some sort of cricket that contained an amount of blood (or whatever is reddish-brown and contained in a cricket) that exceeded the interior volume of the cricket by like 10x

http://www.bricktestament.com/exodus/the_fourth_plague/ex08_24b.html

Just to be on the safe side, since I’m fond of Rex, I did this:

http://www.bricktestament.com/exodus/the_tenth_plague/ex12_07.html

Also, today it was 96 with 70% humidity.  35.6 C if you’re a canadian bobsledder.  Although i was not plagued by vermin, I suspect it was because they all had boiled to death.


wt: 169.0

Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225,295×2, 315,320,325,330,335×3, 340,345×2, 350×3

Med Grip Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 245×4, 250×5, 255,260,265,270×4

Sumo+avg band: 135×2, 225,250x1

BTN Press: 105,110×6, 115,120×5, 125×4, 130×3

RDL: 200,205×6

time: 1:53

Family Opoly

A year or more ago, Karena invented a board game.  This was, i think, right after she went to Pax East.  She spent a lot of time researching game design, and how much it would cost to create her own actual board, and studying my old Dungeons and Dragons books for ideas.  The game involved moving your guy around these kingdoms and conquering them.  You could lose ones you’d already conquered to other players.  There was something about needing gold and followers in order to conquer.  She called it “Urst”.  This name came to her in a dream.

Me: That’s a pretty good name for it.

Karena: YOU REALLY THINK SO?

Me: Yeah, it rhymes with “Worst” hahaha

Karena: …

Honestly though, it was pretty good.  The first time we played was basically playtesting and I came up with a lot of things wrong with it (at her request) and gave her the list.  The biggest flaw was this shop where your character could buy items.

Me: Wait, so this potion makes my guy invincible in battle and it only costs twenty gold?  I’ll buy ten of them!

She’s pretty bad at game economics.

I don’t know, after she fixed the flaws, we played it a couple more times and that was it.  Not sure whether playtesting a game makes it less fun to play later; a board drawn on a large sheet of paper with pencil & characters that are little folded bits of paper attached to paperclips make it less fun; or it just got kind of buried when we moved and we forgot about it.


Recently she got working on a new game.  Rex and I saw her with my old AD&D Monster Manual (oh sure you made fun of me for owning/keeping it now it’s a reference book for you huh) making little cards like “Hill Giant +10”.  And then we started making fun of her.  Then…

Me: So are we playing your new game tonight?

Karena: NO. I QUIT MAKING IT BECAUSE YOU GUYS WERE JERKS.

Maybe it is a pregnancy thing.  So to be on the safe side…

Me: We’re sorry!  We really want to play it!

Karena: HMMM…

Rex: We do!  We love you Mom!

Me: Don’t cry! (she wasn’t)

Rex [hugging her forcefully]: Yeah, don’t cry!


Instead she made a new game.  I am pretty sure this was punishment for making fun of Urst II or whatever.

Familyopoly has two jars filled with slips of paper.  One jar had “newlywed game” questions like “What is Dad’s favorite color?” The other had “challenges” like “roll a dice and steal that many points from another player” and “Can you find three books that have been left out and reshelve them in less than a minute?”

Highlights from the game:

  • This is exactly something that Susan Heffley (the mom from diary of a wimpy kid) would create.  (btw if you want to know what characters the rest of the family would be, rex=rowlee, quincy=manny, and when it comes my attitude towards this game, i’m rodrick.
  • I didn’t know what Rex’s scout troop number was, the name of any of his Hot Wheels cars, or the name of Karena’s stuffed animal.  I also pretended not to remember where Karena and I met.  As for the latter, as amusing as it was, sometimes you can pretend too well to be dumb and then no one will believe later that you were just trying to be funny.
  • A “pictionary” challenge – Rex had to pick something for Karena to draw that I had to guess.  I guessed “Poop” before she made a single mark on the paper.  Correct.  Guess I know at least something about him.
  • A card that said “if dad has complained more than five times about the game you get three points”
  • It ended in a nauseating (to me) and satisfying (to Karena and Rex) three-way tie.  To be fair i think she derived a good bit of pleasure out of torturing me with this game.

Perhaps the worst thing was the following night when it was Rex’s turn to pick the family game and he chose Familyopoly.

Me: NO! It doesn’t make any sense!  We already know the answers to the trivia questions.  We’ve done all the challenges.  It’s the kind of game you’re only supposed to play once.

Karena: YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS THAT HE LIKES MY GAME.  BESIDES HE ADDED SOME NEW CARDS.

Rex added “Who has the best ears in the family” and copied several other cards verbatim.  Karena won this time, which congratulations, finally – I mean, you wrote the trivia questions (except for the ears one)


Friday

wt: 168.4

Squat: 45×4,135×3, 225×2, 280,285×6, 290×5, 295×4, 300,305,310×3

Pause Med Grip Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 270×2, 275,280,285,290,295,300,305×1

Sumo+monster: 135×2, 225,315,330x1

BTN press: 135×2, 140,145,150x1

RDL: 225×3, 240×6

time: 1:46

Saturday

wt: 169.8

Front Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225,235,240,245×2, 250,255,260,265×1

Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 255×4, 260,265,270,275,280,285×3

Sumo+lite band: 135,225,275,315x1

Mil press: 125×6, 130×5, 135×4, 140,145×3, 150×2

RDL: 190,195×6

time: 2:01

You are too little to help.

V__766C

Dragged that chair over to help me cook eggs.  Thanks Karena for letting kids help with baking cause now i need this.

Karena: YOU LOOK THIN IN THAT PIC

Me: Thanks.

Karena: NOT ‘RIPPED’ THIN – LIKE ‘DO YOU EVEN LIFT’

awesome.  not sure if she learned the memes from me or from facebook peoples


I listen to gangsta rap and like arena football; you’re not gonna hear me claiming that our culture is going into the gutter because of reality TV or whatever.  It’s not the end of civilization, contrary to what the talking heads say. In ancient times, for popular entertainment, the Romans had gladiators vs. lions, the Greeks covered themselves with olive oil and wrestled nude boys, and the Egyptians were doing this.

but this song is a new low.  It’s based on the Big L song which is quite clever.  Now you’ve turned it into an unpaid sneaker commercial.  I am ashamed for you.  I mean cars and jewels and guns, okay this is rap music.  But you’re buying shoes. Congratulations.


Andy is on his second gofundme of the year to pay for a powerlifting meet.


wt: 167.8

Front Squat: 45×4, 135,205,210,215×3, 220,225×2, 230×3

JM Press: 45x10p, 135×5, 190,195×6, 200,205,210×5

Mil Press: 135×2, 160,165,170×1, 115,120×6

Sumo+mini band: 135×2, 225,315,340,345x1

time: 1:17


won a tight one over Rex in Ticket to Ride, following hsilman’s strategy, well basically just making sure i got the longest route this time, did a long route and one other which connected, and then after that just extended it.  Karena distant DISTANT third again.

Rex: Mom, were you even trying?!

She invented a game called Family-opoly.  It’s like trivia questions about family members and various “challenges”.  Rex loves it.  I’m contemplating letting Quincy eat the cards  just so I never have to play again.  More tomoorow about Family-opily.

Frog in Gym

Sitting there watching me lift.  He was a little guy.  Probably planning to crawl in one of my shoes, or get inside the power rack in order to die and be unpleasant.  Or maybe dart forward when I’m squatting and get under my foot so that I squish him, but slip on his blood smear, and corkscrew around, tearing my groin, then dropping the barbell on my neck.  Like a single Kamikaze fighter taking out a battleship.  I coaxed him into my daughter’s plastic bucket – which ironically is green and has a frog’s face on it.  I put the instruction booklet to my weed wacker on top so he couldn’t escape.  And then walked him to the front door and let him hop out into the grass where he could set a PR eating the bugs that are attracted to the security lights.

wt: 168.2

Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×2, 295,335×1, 360×2, 365,370,frog,375,380,385,390,395,400,405×1

Medium Grip Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 210,215,220,225,230×6, 235×4, 240×3

Sumo DL: 225×2, 315,355,375x1

time: 1:54

7/6/15

wt: 169.8

Front Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225,265,270×1, 190,195×3, 200×4

Pause Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 230,235×6, 240×5, 245×6

Snatch Grip DL: 135×3, 225×2, 315, 375x1

BTN Press: 105,110×6, 115,120×4, 125,130×3

RDL: 230×4, 235×6

time: 1:29

7/5/15

wt: 169.6  ate 3/4 of a blueberry pie yesterday

Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 295×1, 325,330,335,340×3, 345,350,355×2

Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 235,240×6, 245,250×5, 250×6

Sumo+avg band: 135,185,225,245x1

Mil Press: 135×3, 140,145,150×2, 155×1

time: 1:41

From Barbeques to Bar Mitzvahs

In game one of Ticket to Ride, we played wrong so it didn’t count. (You can draw cards, build a route, etc but what we overlooked is that you can only do ONE of these things).  Rex grasped the basic mechanics but just built random train routes wherever he could and didn’t complete any destination tickets.

In game two, I won by a large margin.  Rex once again built train tracks in a seemingly random fashion, though he did connect a few of them together.  At the end of the game he got mad at Karena and threw his cards at the board, causing a derailment.  As a result he had to go to bed immediately and could not even find out who won the game.  However, it turned out he did have a plan this time; when we tallied the score, he’d made all his tickets, and amusingly, defeated Karena.

In game three it came down to who had the longest route.  Which was Rex.  He won by one point.  Karena finished a distant third.  I’m really proud of him.  He’s proud of himself, too:

Rex: Dad, make sure you post on your blog that I won!

Me: I will, and you get to wear the conductor’s hat next time because you’re champion.

There is actually no conductor’s hat ATM but I’m thinking of getting this: http://www.amazon.com/ABG-Accessories-Friends-Conductor-Toddler/dp/B00B4Z6DCO/ so that someone will have to wear it.  It might end up being me, so probably actually gonna save my money and buy the expansion pack for the game.

V__713D

The other day when I came home, Karena was trying to teach Quincy how to play HiHo! Cherry-o.  She said it was going great but I watched Quincy spin a dog and just start putting cherries in the basket, so apparently there are no rules in this house. Today Karena made a game for her.  She drew six balloons on a piece of paper and wrote a number in each one.  If you roll the number on the balloon you get to color it in.  I’m trying to think of a polite way to put this, but toddlers are kind of simpletons.


Thu 7/2/15

wt: 168.6

Bot Pos Squat #18: 45×4, 135×2, 225,315,365,385x1

#16: 415x1

eh quit

JM Press: 45x10p, 135,185×4, 235,240,245,250×3

Sumo+monster mini: 135×2, 225,275,315x1

Mil Press: 125×5, 130×4

RDL: 200×4, 205×5, 210×6

time: 1:23

Fri 7/3/15

Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 295×5, 300,305,310,315×4, 320×3

Pause Med Grip Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 245,250,255×4, 260,265×3

Sumo+lite band: 135×2, 225,275,305x1

BTN Press: 125×3, 130,135×2, 140,145×1, 100x2x6

RDL: 215,220×6, 225×5

Time: 1:56

Dead in the middle of Little Italy

Little did we know we riddled some middlemen who didn’t do diddly.


today is the day of the year the Mets pay Bobby Bonilla 1.2 million dollars.  This is my second favorite sports story.  The only better one is where Rickey Henderson framed a million dollar check instead of cashing it, causing the A’s books not to balance and them to have to give him a replica check instead.


Tue 6/30/15

wt: 171.6

Front Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×1, 230×2, 235,240,245,250,255,260×1

Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225×3, 275,310×2, 315,320,325×1, 225,230×6

Sumo: 135×3, 225,275,315,345,365x1

Mil Press: 135×2, 155,160,165×1, 115,120×6

RDL: 185×6

time: 2 hrs


Wed 7/1/15

wt: 168.8

Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×2, 270,275,280×6, 285,290×5

Medium Grip Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 225,285×3, 290,295,300×2, 305,310,315×1

Sumo+mini band: 135×2, 225,275,315,330x1

BTN Press: 100×6, 105,110×5, 115×4, 120×3

RDL: 190,195×6

time: 1:47

How to Remove the Rainbow Banner from WordPress

actually, i don’t know.  I’ve emailed the Supreme Court four times already but to no avail.  Just thank God Roe v. Wade happened before the internet or imagine what the banner would look like.


wt: 171.0

Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 315,345×1, 375,380×2, 385,390,395,400×1

Pause Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 205,210,215,220,225×6

JM Press: 215,220,225,230×4

Sumo+Avg band: 135×2, 185,225,235x1

BTN Press: 120,125×3, 130,135×2

RDL: 225,230×6, 235×4

time: 1:57