Gutter snipe

So yesterday i cleaned the gutters.

Homeowner FAQ

Q: Why do houses have gutters?

A: if you don’t have gutters, water will drip off the roof and land on where the foundation meets the ground and seep into your basement.

Q: what if i don’t have a basement

A: then the water will puddle up there and mold/erode your foundation

Q: what if the roof has a big overhang? Then you wouldn’t need gutters right?

A: shut up and buy the gutters you don’t want to be the only home without them

Q: how often will the gutters need servicing

A: Gutters typically need unclogging or repair work every seven days. We’ll take care of that for a reasonable fee.

Q: can i unclog my gutters myself 

A: haha! Oh you’re serious aren’t you.

Q: yes is there a way to tell if they need it?

A: after a year or so, trees will sprout from them, so try not to look up when you go in and out of your house. But your wife will eventually notice and then you won’t have a choice.

Q: Are there any dangers i should be aware of when i clean the gutters?

A: yes we designed them so that they are just a smidgen too high for someone your height to safely reach when standing on that ladder you own. Also we filled them with wasps.

Q: can the wasps sting through gloves?

A: take a look at this poor bastard & you tell me

Q: ouch his right hand looks all swollen and itchy

A: hehe his fingers are like little sausages

Despite my injuries set a clean PR. That’s not impressive since it was 215. Pounds.


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