…was going to start today as petty retaliation for having to attend children’s performance in Black History Month play at MIL’s church.
Proof that Rex is a Visigothic name
Rex was Frederick Douglass. Quincy was a reluctant Laila Ali and more reluctant (and though this is probably super offensive to say – adorable) slave, picking cotton balls off floor of aisle.
Me (week prior to performance): Frederick Douglass, huh? That’s cool. I’m reading his autobiography.
Me: Well, i downloaded it.
Me (defensively): I read a John Brown biography a few years ago!
So i decided to create Visigothic History Month to give me some ethnic pride and force others to learn about my culture.
Pelagius of Asturias is a mouthful so his friends called him Don Pelayo.
Me: Happy Visigothic History Month. Did you know that in 722, Pelagius of Asturias defeated the Moors at the Battle of Covadonga? It marks the start of the Reconquista!
Karena: GO AWAY
Me: I’ve decided to postpone the start of Visigothic History Month until August.
Me: Because that’s the month in 410 AD when Alaric I sacked Rome.
Karena: GO AWAY. YOU’RE ANNOYING.
It’s fine. People have been telling the Visigoths to go away for almost two thousand years.
My grandma (like Karena, only Visigothic by marriage) got a phone call (on her rotary dial phone). BTW my grandma lives on top of a mountain in the most desolate place in the Eastern United States.
Caller: grandma, i need help I’m in the Bahamas and my wallet got stolen and etc
For some reason my grandma thought it was me (as opposed to my brother who likes to go, and is 1000 x more likely to go to the Bahamas for example he went to Aruba for honeymoon and recently took business trip to Florida although the recent birth of Antonio will probably slow down this wanderlust)
Grandma: oh my goodness. What is target? What is gift card? How can money go through a wire? Now i have heard of Western Union. But they wouldn’t come up the mountain here in the winter. We once had a nice man with a horse…. He was friends with your great uncle Johnny. Well, your father’s great uncle he would have been… Did you get the newspaper clippings I sent you? We’ve been getting so much snow here… Oh my the Bahamas that’s so exciting. But what about Karena and the children? I got Quincy’s Valentine card by the way. It was adorable…
(Several minutes later)
Grandma: …who is this again?
Caller (patiently): Your grandson, uh… Couch.
Fortunately my name is hard to pronounce correctly. She called the sheriff (my great great uncle Johnny’s friend who still rides that horse but i doubt has jurisdiction in Nigeria)
CGB: 280,285,290,295 x 2
HBPS: 285,295,305,310 x 1
BTN: 125,130,135,140 x 3
SLDL: 275,280,285 x 3
wt: 161.8 iron will fist of steel month concluded with me buying two bags of Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Lindor Truffles on clearance from Walmart for a buck a bag but not eating any because it would have put me over my calorie limit for the day. The other members of my family were not as disciplined so i hid the rest of them
CPP: tried some muscle cleans for Celica got up to 95 idk it was fun 140,150,160,170 x 3
Squat warmup to 365
BPS #17: 395,405,415 x 1
BPS #16: 425 x 1
SGDL: 305,315,325 x 3
PU55 x 11