This song makes me lol.
A month ago when I was at the store, I decided I wanted to juice. I used my phone to search for the recipes Fatman had suggested years ago, and bought the necessary ingredients (spinach, carrots & apple). Then I put some of each into my food processor.
Karena: YOU KNOW THATS NOT A JUICER RIGHT.
Me: The internet says that you can use a blender and make a smoothie which is actually healthier because insoluble fiber, not wasting pulp, etc.
Whirr. “Poured” what looked like chunky babyfood into a glass. “Drank” some
Karena: HA HA YOU SHOULD SEE THE FACE YOU JUST MADE
Me: It…(cough)…tastes okay but it’s too thick.
Karena: YOU COULD ADD WATER
Whirr. New “smoothie” = water with tiny bits of carrots, spinach, and apple floating on top. Took a sip, trying to be stoic like Rocky with the raw egg and etc. Dumped solid components of smoothie into trash, poured the rest down the drain.
Karena: MAYBE THAT WAS TOO MUCH WATER
So anyway, she got me a juicer for Christmas (Hamilton Beach Wide Mouth something or other). (Yes in addition to booze yes sending conflicting health messages it’s fine) The machine is a wonderful novelty and a lot of fun and I run the risk of becoming one of those people who talks about juice all the time and is insane. To be honest I am using it in an attempt to get more fruits and vegetables that I wouldn’t ordinarily eat not out of hyperbolic health claims.
Juice Use #1: My inlaws periodically give the kids bags of oranges. I’ll usually eat one to show the kids how delicious they are and how I don’t mind peeling them anytime they want a healthy snack. But none of the kids like oranges and truth be told I’m not a big fan of peeling them so they sit around our house for a few days until I make Karena return them to her parents (I wouldn’t blame her if she actually secretly threw them away bc SHAME) But now that I am juicing, I gladly peeled _eight_ oranges…
Me: Is it wrong to take all the kids’ oranges and make juice out of them but not give them any of the juice?
Karena: YOU’RE USING _ALL_ THEIR ORANGES?
Me: You can have some of the fresh squeezed pulp-free orange juice.
Karena: SURE GO AHEAD
So I got about 16 ounces of orange juice…
Me: Here’s your half (i.e. 4 ounces of juice and 4 ounces of foam) See? Your gift is already paying off!
Karena (taking small sip): YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL
Me: What? The foam is uh…the part with the nutrients! The best gourmet juices are frothy – everybody knows this. Sigh. (googles”how to get rid of orange juice foam”)
Juice Use #2: I made the spinach/carrot/apple guce in front of Karena. Fatman’s spirit was pleased & it tasted pretty good…
Me: Ha! See? I told you!
Karena: TOLD ME WHAT? YOU COULDN’T DO THIS WITH THE FOOD PROCESSOR SO I BOUGHT YOU A JUICER
Me: Oh yeah…thank you.
Juice Use #3: Homemade Chelada. This means I threw in half a cucumber, onions, a couple of tomatoes, a lime, and some jalapeno peppers. Okay, except for the jalapenos these were all items I would eat normally, but it didn’t violate my principles because store-bought Chelada is beer with a tiny bit of tomato puree and the liquid that’s left in a can of clams after all the clams are removed. So this was extra nutrition. Which I then proceeded to cancel out by adding 16 ounces of Steel Reserve. The resulting beverage looked like something from a mad scientist’s laboratory, i.e. bright green, frothy, and bubbling. Not to mention somewhat noxious as I may have added too many jalapenos.
Rex: Ahh! Dad’s drink is burning my eyes!
I had to add another Steel Reserve to water it down. Ah the things we do in the name of good health.
Coach Jr got a haircut. This isn’t a good picture to show it bc my black shirt but it was the only one that came out. He wouldn’t hold still for the haircut and now he won’t hold still for pictures… so both are kinda fuzzy.
FP: 235,245,255 x 3
Sqt: 285,315,325,3 35 x 3
MP: 165 x 2; 167.5,170,172.5 x 1
SLDL: 275,305 x 2
BBC: 100 x 5
sWSF: 5,5.5 x 5
time: 1 hr
CGB: 255,265,275 x 2
HBPS: 185 x 6; 195,205,215 x 3
BTN: 151,152.5,153.5 x 1
SGDL: 345,375 x 1
(all SGDL done off 2.25″ i.e. 3 mats, all SLDL off 1.5″ i.e. 2)
WSF: 5 x 5
watched slim farman videos on youtube for sledgehammer training
FP: 265,275,285,295 x 2
Sqt: 345,375,385 x 2
Mil Press: 175,177.5 x 1
SGDL: 195 x 8, 225 x 4
WSB: 5,6.25 x 5
sWSB: 6.75 x 3