Ants in Pants II

I forgot to post about this yesterday even though it was leaf blower-related.  A similar incident happened a year or so ago* but I’m too lazy to go back and check and when i searched for “ants” it came back with so many hits because apparently I’m obsessed with them but you’ll understand why maybe:

Anyway was taking the leaf blower for a practice run and using the vacuum function to suck up a big pile of pine needles and chop them into i guess smaller bits of pine needles since the bag wasn’t attached.  But I was standing in an anthill and the bastards were all the way up to my knee.  I was wearing boots and long socks and jeans but I could feel them at least psychosomatically so I ran to the shed but it was locked so I fumbled with the key while doing a little dance, then remembered the ant poison was in a different garage (one of the pitfalls of being wealthy in outbuildings) so I sprinted back and got it and doused my leg and boot which of course now the ants were still alive just 90% were now frenzied and writhing and still would live for ten more minutes and I’m sure this is a violation of the label application so I took off my pants and boots and socks while still continuing to hop about.  My garage door was open and I expected to hear somebody call out NUUUDE but there was nobody home so I threw the clothes on the garage floor so Karena could find them and laugh at me later and went in and changed. But no stings.  They got the agent orange til the yard was knee deep in suds and ant bits.

*In case I actually didn’t mention this last time it happened was even more odd/hilarious to anyone secretly filming my life since I was with a barely walking Quincy way in the back yard and had to shed my pants and sneakers and keep her out of the ant hill and then come running inside, carrying her while she struggled and cried because she wanted to play outside more.


rex-scoresheet-201608This is from August.  When we play family games I usually keep score.  I sometimes annoy Rex (and by proxy Karena) by giving people hilarious nicknames, or drawing rude pictures.   My favorite thing to do is make a 3, then a series of very small sideways 8s coming out of it, which gives Rex a fit because it looks like a butt pooping but I can claim to a skeptical, irritated Karena that I’m just doing math.

Anyway I agreed to play some game only if Rex and I could both keep score.

Karena: THIS IS MONOPOLY DEAL – YOU DON’T EVEN NEED A SCORE SHEET

Me: It will help his fine motor skills.

So basically we just drew “good” stuff in our own column (I removed the names but I’m Bimbo, Karena is Orange and Rex is Winning.) Then when someone offended us, or we just thought it would be funny, we put an insulting picture in theirs.  I’m not sure why bread is bad, btw.  Also, that face in his column is supposed to be him, which I couldn’t stop laughing about and duplicated exactly on my sheet. The original game is pretty damn awesome (house rule is 4 monopolies btw).  Our version took 3x as long to play but was 8x as fun (not to Karena who did a lot of sighing and subsequently became the all-time scorekeeper in all games).

 

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3 thoughts on “Ants in Pants II

  1. Pingback: Reverse Ant Christmas | Coach's Blog

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