A year ago we had a giant leak under the kitchen sink. Karena’s dad (FIL) came over and we fixed it. By we, I mean that he did all the work and I occasionally handed him things and said “uh huh” at the appropriate times.
Afterwards we had a smaller leak, so we had to keep a bucket under the trap (nb i learned this word yesterday) and a towel under the bucket. Every month or so (or whenever my feet started to get really wet all of a sudden) I would empty the bucket.
Dissatisfied with this state of affairs, I bought some pieces at the store that looked like the worst section of what we had going on under there. Then I left the pieces under the sink for a year. Yes, part of it was laziness but another part was because I’m not confident of my handyman skills. I waited for a conversation like this to take place:
FIL: It’s too bad that the sink still leaks a little.
Me: You did the best you could with the parts you had. Say, I happen to have this lying around! Would it help?
FIL: You bet! [fixes sink]
But this never happened. A more responsible/sensible thing to do would be for me to try to do it myself while he was visiting in case I ran into problems, needed advice, etc.
Instead (the other day while he was out of the state):
Me: Can you keep an eye on the kids for a few minutes while I swap out this one pipe-thing* under the sink?
Karena: IT WON’T TAKE THAT LONG WILL IT, I HAVE WORK TO DO
*Never trust a plumber who calls it this
So anyway I started taking pieces out. But the thing wouldn’t go on right because the pieces that it connected to were old and rotten. So I took them out too. An hour and a half later, I had everything under the sink removed and disassembled. Sludgy old pieces, new pieces, extra washers that weren’t in any of the pictures etc.
Then I went to the shed to see if my FIL or his late uncle had stashed any spare plumbing things out there (it’s not as far-fetched as it sounds, but 95% of the time, what you find in that shed elicits thoughts/comments like “wow what the hell does that even do?”, “how freaking old is that thing” or “ew”. You only get “That’s just what I needed!” about 5% of the time.)
All I found was a wasp nest by the door. Well the wasps found me first. One stung me in my shoulder blade. It actually didn’t hurt that bad, and I wasn’t even sure I got stung at first till I saw the nest. I sprayed it with poison. This was maybe a turning point for the day. I’m good at killing things & at least that cheered me up.
So I had to go to the hardware store. Also Karena made me take Quincy because she was driving her crazy.
Karena: I LIKE* HOW A FEW MINUTES HAS TURNED INTO TWO HOURS AND YOU STILL HAVE TO GO TO THE STORE
Me: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I need!**
Also the nearest hardware store is the last non-mega hardware store in America. Old men hang around there for some reason (probably to make fun of people like me) and everybody talks in an incomprehensible Southern drawl. So I wasn’t exactly thrilled to go, even if Quincy totally was.
Me: I have like a two-sink sink, see? And I need like all the underneath pieces for the water draining out?
But I didn’t actually have to say ^this to anyone because they literally had that!
Me (at home): …You get extras of these connector things! And it was only $3.97!
Karena: THAT’S GREAT*. THE WHOLE AFTERNOON IS WASTED AND WE STILL DON’T HAVE A WORKING KITCHEN SINK.
“Helping” me by playing Bishop’s knife game on the back of my head with her fingers. Note: I’m looking up the difference between a “slip joint” and a “direct connection”. Yes, my hands are clean bc we just got back from the store.
It started to all come together even though I had to saw two of the PVC pipes with an antique hacksaw I found in the shed (wasps fortunately hadn’t returned). This seemed a little like cheating, since it didn’t say anything about sawing in the instructions on the package. But I didn’t want to drive back out to the store with Quincy and have this hypothetical conversation with the elderly clerk:
Me: Hi can I exchange this four dollar item that’s already smeared with sludge for a set of pipes and connector-things that’s exactly identical but two of them are 3/4″ shorter?
Clerk: Now say what now? Slow down, son.
Me: I have a receipt.
Anyway, I got it all assembled in time for dinner and surprisingly three days later it still hasn’t leaked. I’m keeping the bucket and towel there a little longer, though.
Drinkie: Pink Lemonade
Pause Bench: 195,200,205,210,215,220,225 x 3; 230,235,240 x 2
Squat: 340,345,350,355,360,365,370,375 x 1
Mil Press: 165,167.5 x 1; 115 x 6; 117.5,120,122.5 x 3
Stiff Leg DL: 205,210,215,220 x 3; 225,230 x 2