Pushups til you bleed and water for breakfast.

Me: Happy Juneteenth!

Karena: IS IT THE NINETEENTH?  WAIT…I THOUGHT…

Me: Haha house ethnic awareness champion!

Karena: DAMMIT.


Rex wanted to play Pokémon Sorry tonight.  We own the Pokémon version of just about every board game.  They are generally better than the originals.  However Pokemon (not doing the accent anymore) Sorry is better than regular Sorry like stepping in dog poop is better than getting it on your hands.  It’s like a randomized version of Parcheesi (10x champ, ring for each finger btw).  You just draw a card and push Charizard or Hoppip or whoever along, occasionally sending someone back to their start.  We are missing some of the pieces cause we got it at a thrift store, so whoever is Fire has to have an Electric on their team and vice versa.  We are also missing the rules (which don’t exist online, so we have to use the printed rules for regular Sorry), which results in constant arguments.  And you have to go through the deck and reshuffle like eight times IOT complete a game.

Me: Just deal the cards and move my pieces along accordingly.  There’s no skill to this game.

Karena: HAHA. IT’S SO TRUE.

Me: Imma go lift.

Karena: SIT DOWN.

Despite our best efforts, Rex is like the worst sport in the history of sportsmanship.

Rex (on the first turn of a game): Six… that means I’m in first place.  Mom, you’re in second place because you went four spaces.  Dad is in last – haha!

Me: But I haven’t even moved yet!

Rex: Hahaha! Making excuses, I see.

Me and Karena: HURRY UP!  JUST MOVE YOUR PIECE!

Repeat until the last turn of the game (he is very optimistic) when someone else wins, and he has a tantrum.

Tonight during Sorry, he did a new thing where he stuck his tongue out anytime he drew a card with another team’s Pokemon on it, meaning they couldn’t do their special move.  If he drew his own team’s Pokemon, meaning he could do his special move, he also stuck his tongue out.  Since all the cards have a Pokemon team on them, that meant that he was taunting on 3/4 of all card draws.  I shut this down by putting him in the front leaning rest and making him push til it was his turn again.  (I don’t like making him lose his next turn, since it disrupts the integrity of the game).  Two rounds of this was successful at keeping his tongue in his mouth thereafter.

However I ended up winning, and he knocked my pieces over.

Me: Ahhh!  My championship Pokemons!  Chickorita!

Karena (furious): GET ON THE FLOOR AND START DOING PUSHUPS.  I WANT TEN REAL PUSHUPS.

Ten real pushups is tough for Rex, since he’s a cheater, and especially tonight because he kept laughing.  Until:

Karena: MOVE BACK FROM THOSE BLOCKS. (Quincy left her wooden blocks on the floor.) IF YOU BLEED ON MY RUG YOU’RE CLEANING IT UP.

Rex collapses (not on the blocks) and sobs.

Karena: GET UP AND STOP CRYING.  I’M EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT AND I CAN DO A PUSHUP BETTER THAN THAT.

Me (watching with interest, and some concern): Be careful of Coach Junior!

Karena: [does several pushups and gets up] MY BELLY TOUCHED THE GROUND BUT I CAN’T HELP IT

Me: Actually it’s okay if your chest touches the ground as long as you don’t rest…

Karena: IT IS?

Me: Yeah, and I don’t know what the rule is for pregnant bellies but I’m sure that they’d count.  But it’s time for him to go to bed.

Karena (to Rex): DON’T GET ANY YOGURT OUT OF THE FRIDGE TOMORROW MORNING.  IT’S PUSHUPS AND WATER FOR BREAKFAST UNTIL YOU CAN GIVE ME TEN GOOD ONES.

Ahh good old family game night.


wt: 172.0

Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×2, 295×1, 330,335,340,345×3

Bench: 45x10p, 135×4, 205×3, 240,245,250×6, 255,260×5

I read this article, and came up with an easier method of calculating the intensity/difficulty/strenuous voluminosity/workload of a set/exercise/workout than what this guy was trying to do.  Instead of his mish-mash, just:

RM/(M-W)

where R is how many reps you do in a given set, M is your max, and W is how much weight you used on the set.  This has the added benefit of coming up with a whole number typically 0-100 rather than a decimal between 0-1.  (you can just divide by 100 to compare with the various tables at the end of the article, however I don’t believe they are particularly meaningful)

So for first work set of squats (using 440 for a max): 3 x 440/(440-330) = 12

This works for multiple sets too (337.5 being the average weight): 12(440)/(440-337.5) = 51.5  which is the workload for today’s squats, and the same number you’d get if you added up all the sets separately.

Bottom Position Squat: 405,425x1

Sumo+Lite Band: 135×2, 225×1, 245,255,265,275,285x1

Mil Press: 140×4, 145×3, 150,155×2, 160×1

Front Squat: 135×3, 180×4, 185x2x3, 190×3

RDL: 135×5, 185×3, 205×3, 215×5

Time: 2:11 but at least 15 minutes was wasted on algebra and computation.

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15 thoughts on “Pushups til you bleed and water for breakfast.

  1. Awesome family time. We played Chutes & Ladders where I deliberately lost and then Uno. #1 is like Rex and hates to lose. #2 is not far behind him, but will not cheat. #3 just messes everything up and takes cards/spins when be wants to. The wife is competitive and calls all of us out. Let us know if he does the push ups.

    • chutes and ladders is the worst game ever it’s like candyland with more potential for sobbing with the long slides back, and a shitty spinner. it’s funny that i was gonna say that i never deliberately lose games but thinking back when Rex was 3 or 4 I would lose that to make the misery end quicker. The only slightly amusing thing (and by amusing i mean it like you’re in prison but the bars make a cool noise when you hit them with a spoon) was i would make up ridiculous names for the chute misdeeds. When kids are 3 you can tell them anything. Like i remember there was one where the kid was reading comic books instead of doing his homework and i said he was “Reading Bad Books” Gosh even that is not amusing now that I recount it. Pretty soon Quincy will be old enough for hi-ho cherryo. cocks pistol.

      he did the pushups btw

  2. I’m pretty sure that isn’t algebra because you know all the variables you are solving for right away. Just a calculation.

    Anyway, there was a discussion recently over on /r/boardgames about what games to play with your kid and apparently you are a horrible person and are raising the next Ted Bundy because you are playing deterministic games with your child and teaching them that humans have no agency and their decisions don’t matter. relevant: http://existentialcomics.com/comic/58

    Actually, other than lifting, board games are a big interest to me. I host a board game night ~1/week(less now due to this ridiculous calculus course) and if you are interested, I could give you some suggestions of board/card games for you guys to play that you might find a bit more interesting and still be simple enough for your kid. I’d need to have a rough idea of how old Rex is and/or how developed his critical thinking is in order to make appropriate suggestions though.

    • I’m actually relatively good at the board game Small World as when I play everyone wants to try to mess up other people and fight them because it’s fun and I just take all the unoccupied spots and don’t fight and collect a bunch of coins and win the game.

      • Yeah in games like Small World, player interaction is actually discouraged because it tends to not be worth the cost to beat another player, Pyrrhic victory and all that.

    • Suggestions are welcome but we try to play skill based games. The thing is we take turns choosing the game and rex tends to prefer chancey games to skill ones which is not surprising as he is eight and he’s not gonna beat us at a game that is all skill, like chess. Which we don’t play cause its only two players. But you see what I’m saying? He is really smart and we probably pushed him away from pure chance games as early as possible as they are soul crushing for adults to play like that comic shows

      • Totally understand where you are coming from. Basically, modern board games are usually put on a few different spectrums with “Ameritrash” being more thematic, dice throwing, player interaction chaos, and “eurogames” being more strategic, engine building, victory point games. There is a spectrum, and most games fall in between those extremes.

        Catan or Ticket to Ride are the usual first “gateway games” that are recommended. Still a healthy amount of chance, but strategy is there. Personally, I prefer TTR, feels more strategy and less chance to me.

        Splendor is a recent game, I think it’s accessible even to kids, and plays well 2-4 player. Honestly one of my favorite games, easy to learn but the depth of strategy is crazy.

        Carcassonne is a “modern classic” like Catan & TTR. I’d say it and Splendor might be a bit much mostly because they use completely new mechanics that you can’t really relate to old school games like Tile Laying and Tableau building. They are both for “ages 8+”. I’d say a kid who can play Chess can handle any of these.

        I personally *LOVE* Power Grid. It’s like if Monopoly was actually a good game.

        Last would be King of Tokyo. Significantly lighter than the above games, but still requires strategy. This might be the way to go if your son loves chance, because it’s basically interactive Yahtzee when you get down to it.

        You could also try a “Cooperative” game where you are trying to beat the game together. Simplest one is Forbidden Island, then a step up is Forbidden Desert, and then Pandemic. All are highly rated, and it just depends on what theme you want really.

        Or try a more abstract Co-Op game like Hanabi. Bonus it’s cheap.

        • Awesome man. Thanks. I read this to Karena and she’d heard of most of them. She’s kind of the board game nut. She went to pax east last year. But ones she picked out herself imo suck so I’ll try to start with your recommendations. Will probably buy a few of these in the next couple days after I check them out and see which I’d prefer combined with rex suitability. He’s almost old enough for axis and allies which I got when I was 13 but never had anyone to play with. Celica moment.

          • sounds good.

            If you tell me games you *don’t* like, that would help me narrow it down too.

            I have 3X games in my collection and counting lol

          • Well I like Parcheesi, flip six, Ubuild monopoly, Pokemon monopoly, phase 10, uno and skip bo, all but the first two in moderation, munchkin was good but very very sick of it.
            I know you said don’t like.
            Let me check out your recommendations when I get to a computer

          • Munchkin is awful and for the love of God don’t buy Fluxx either. For simple card games, Love Letter is fun and there are a bunch of rethemes(Batman and Adventure Time come to mind). A step up from that is Citadels. Got this game recently and it’s super, super fun.

          • probably going to get ticket to ride europe. would like something with more bloodshed but maybe in a year or two. holy crap my axis and allies game goes for $199 on amazon now. lol it’s practically mint condition.

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