Bought a car today.  SUV. Used but totally sexy.  Like your mom.  Hue.

Subaru not up to hauling 3 kids.  Partly because it does not run at the moment.  Going to sell for scrap.  U want (to buy) it celica?  Probably just needs a quart of transmission fluid or something; I don’t want to spend another dime on it.

At car dealer, Karena and I are in the salesman’s office.  We were at the part of the negotiations where he pretends to consult with the manager.  “I don’t know if he’ll let me do this…”  “Oh golly, you won’t believe what he said.”  “I’ve got good news for you.”  “I can’t go any lower, but let me check with him,” and so forth.  Really “the manager” is like “The Banker” on Deal or No Deal.  I.e. a possibly fictitious entity whose actual job is done by an algorithm.  Depending on how good at bargaining you are, when the dealer is supposedly consulting the manager, he is actually either:

A) Having a good laugh at your expense with a group of other employees (which may or may not include the manager)

B) Eating a donut while standing in the doorway of the breakroom and staring vacantly at SportsCenter, then taking a piss and not washing his hands.

Anyway while we’re sitting there, staring out at the car lot, this hot light-skinned black chick walks by.  About 5’8, 120 lbs, long hair, huge tits in white blouse with black jacket over top, tight black pants, high heels.


Me: Uh, that black Excursion out there.

Karena: HMMM

Weight: 173.4

Jump Squat: 45,55,65×3, 75,85×2, 95,105,115×1, 125×2, 135×3

just trying these out lightly as I haven’t jumped in ten years unless you count diving to the ground in terror.

Bottom Position Squat #22: 185×2

this is very low and i am not sure if i will like it

Bottom Position Squat #21: 225,275,295,315x1

Front Squat: 135×4, 155×2, 175,185x1

sure could have gone lots heavier just fucking around; i like bolding things anyway


Military Press: 45×12, 95×5, 115×3, 135,145×2, 155,165,170x1, 175; 135,140×4

there Jaysun, now you know.  also what did you guys decide, elbows flared or straight ahead.

Sumo+lite band (from now on not going to write the inevitable 135×3 with no bands): 135×2, 185,215,225,235x1

BTN Press: 95,105×5

VC: 4,4

BB Curl: 55×8

Time: 1:44

enjoyment: 10/10

worry that the swede will judge me negatively for claiming i was going to stick to my plan and then not: slight but non-zero.

edit: Honda Pilots are not ugly.  PS. if you look closely, you can see Jamie Lewis reflected in the passenger door.



28 thoughts on “Excursion

  1. Ah, now you’re doing the CelicaXX plan and adding jumps. For srs, did you read over my last two months of plans?

    Elbows flared. http://ditillo2.blogspot.com/2010/11/abcs-of-weightlifting-part-one-by-tommy.html

  2. At least the Excursion is based off a Mazda platform and it’s not an Expedition. So some credit. Shipping the Subaru would unfortunately cost too much. Plus it’s not manual anyway. Sell it on a forum for Subarus instead and get like $500 instead of $300 at the scrap yard.

    My parents until the divorce hauled 3 kids around in sedans, once a station wagon, then my mom bought a Windstar. I can pretty much see my life going downhill from there actually. But my dad had cool Lincolns though. Nonetheless, I think we can say that children are OK in sedans with a middle seat as long as they do not become obese. Hell, we even fit into my dad’s briefly owned Escort. They do not need captains seats and LCD monitors integrated into their seats.

    You should have bought a 1970s Lincoln Town Car.

    • okay grumpy old man. you know i think in a lot of ways you’re like your dad whether you want to be or not.

      but yes i agree it is possible to put three kids in a sedan. It is just not optimal to have 2 of them in car seats w/ Rex crammed in the middle. And we occasionally take long trips brb 21 hours to NY.

      my dad had an Escort. At one point both my parents did. At one point my dad had a Pinto, which yes i know explodes when rearended.

      • I hate the stupid new car seat law that now requires booster seats for any kid under 12 or whatever. Fucking nanny state bullshit. brb moving to Taiwan and transporting my 5 kids on my scooter.

        • i had a friend whose parents were really strict and old-school. like i’d go over to his house and he would have to finish his rural-type chores before we could play and I’d wind up helping him. and his brother had to ride in a car seat – car seat, not booster – until he was like 10 because he was under 45 lbs or whatever.

          anyway he became a heroin addict and serial burglar and is now doing 10 years. dunno what became of the brother.

          Rex sits on a booster seat which is basically the equivalent of a phone book because the shoulder belt would go over his neck otherwise. If we only had lap belts in the backseat like we did when i was a kid then he wouldn’t use one.

        • I have had several opportunities to observe Asian scooter transport and traffic in general, and they scarred me for life. Definitely made me go from “WTF why do I have to buckle up” to “OMG we need a roll rack inside every car”.

  3. Your summation of car buying is spot on. Did you get a good interest rate? Not too many subarus in the south I would guess.
    Elbows flared for sure. You should take my word for it because I weigh 190 and my max press is 155.

    • Strangely besides my mom’s dealer disaster she still owes over 5K on that’s worth 4, my other two cars bought recently were at a used car dealer. It actually wasn’t bad. First time we didn’t negotiate price, just paid $1500 straight out. Second time, my sister negotiated price by saying “this is all the money we have.” And then we got the price dropped from 2300 to 1900 to make it so sales tax was included, as my sister only had $2300. The manager consulting was not the computer algorithim thing, but it was just scrappy mechanic guy number 1 talking to scrappy mechanic guy number two and him saying “yeah sure we can do that.”

      I’m pretty happy with the amount of life my $1500 car has done. About 40K miles on it, with the only major repair being the water pump and timing belt which I had help with and did for about $120 or so. Then new tires and an alignment for $300.

      Unfortunately it needs about $200 worth of suspension parts and free labor by me to not be a shitty rickety feeling car on the highway.

      • yeah but even they have an “algorithm” even if it’s in their head as in we spent X on this car and we want to make Y profit. So must sell for minimum of P= X+(Y)GFA where G,F,A are constants

        G = Customer’s Gullibility
        F = If they are financing it and we can do a trick whereby the monthly payments are small enough to keep the customer happy but the overall price of the car can then become 5x what it’s worth.
        A = Annoyance as in this cheap douchebag is wearing a Consumer Reports t-shirt and has been to 14 other dealerships this morning with 6 to go, and if we can just sell him anything get rid of him and move on to Floyd Mayweather http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/cars/2015/04/22/floyd-mayweather-cars-las-vegas/26205803/ it’s a win.

  4. All I can say is, busted. Quick thinking on the reply though.

    Yeah , 3 in a compact/subcompact is tight. Excursion is a good choice, now all you need is a dog, two fish and three turtles.

    Nice job on the BW press. Awesome! Celica has it right, though as a personal preference, I tend to keep mine closer to straight.

  5. Haha you maniacs, Karena is not having a damn litter – excursion is just the first thing I came up with. Also play on words re the imaginary affair and my dalliance with different training.

    It’s a freakin Honda pilot

  6. Went to a Thai resturant lately where an amazing girl of unknown race was working. Was just starting to relax in the vicinity of an alpha when I realized she wasn’t wearing a bra under her skimpy vest. I probably burned a hole in that side boob with my eyes.

    Re: training I just watched a video of Bradley something on yerterbs who said to flare the elbows so they remain under the bar the whole time. My press is complete shit and I basically take a close grip and keep my elbows in front of me for as much of the lift as possible, so this would tell me that I’m wrong and he’s right.

  7. You gotta flare as you press up. Same as for the bench press (tuck down – flare up), except there’s no “down” portion in the OH press. IMO.

    Also nice recovery. I always try to make a joke out of it when I get busted – it never works.

  8. I didn’t know the manager consulting was a thing for buying cars, but it happened to my dad when he bought a used car too. Convo went something like “Wow, someone messed up, this price is way lower than it should be, let me check with my manager”…minutes later…”Manager doesn’t know why it’s happened, but he’ll allow it”. Psychology to think we stumbled on a deal by accident

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