The main components of rap music:
- title of song – a catchy slogan that’s either cryptically violent “Put You On A T-Shirt”, cryptically sexual “Bands A Make Her Dance” or not cryptic at all “Boats n Hoez” Then shout the title of the song a lot during the song. It’s best if the last word of the title rhymes with a lot of other words, but this is not necessary.
- name of group – “Yeah wazzup this is the Beatles.” “Lennon in the house” “The Liverpool Legends baby” okay you don’t get this in rock music very often.
- catchy beat
- sweet instrumental loop or sample
- (optional) lyrics that rhyme and/or make sense
My first hit song that I produced in my head several years ago was “Get Down on It” It samples the Kool & the Gang tune
Except my version had a lot of yelling “get down on it” and humorously misogynistic lyrics. The video was full of strippers. The phrase caught on like wildfire, appearing across pop culture, including on t-shirts (which were banned at several schools) and eventually was referenced on SNL (sign that the shark had been jumped). There was a remix. Busta Rhymes was on the remix.
I told Karena about my plan for hip-hop domination.
Me: …so like this: “Get Down On It” [hums a few notes from the Kool & Gang song badly off key] then like “Get Down ON It!”
Karena: I THINK THERE’S ALREADY A SONG CALLED THAT
Me: There is! But you can’t copyright a title. And I’m going to sample it. And I think it will be the next big thing because the lyrics are suggestive but not obscene. People will argue, like “What does ‘Get Down On It’ mean? Get Down on what?” Controversy!
Karena: I’M PRETTY SURE IT CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING [walks away]
Me: Wait, you haven’t even heard the lyrics yet! Come back here – [lowers voice to mutter] – and Get Down On It.
It actually turned out pretty good though they changed the name of the song and didn’t yell “Get Down On It” enough for my taste, and released it 11 years before I had the idea:
Unlike some artists, I’ve stayed away from drugs, and haven’t squandered a penny of my royalties. But my imaginary public has been wondering when I would release my next hit. They need wait no longer.
Me (triumphantly): One up and one down!
Me: It’s my new song. Remember “Get Down On It”?
Me: Oh yeah…one up and one down! It’s a catchphrase.
Karena: WHAT DOES IT EVEN MEAN
Me: You don’t know? You put one leg up and one leg down.
Karena: LIKE DOING A SPLIT?
Me: Exactly. Go ahead and do it – put your foot up on the table… see if you can be in the video.
Karena: I HAVE TO TAKE REX TO BOY SCOUTS.
ps i declare Copyright just like I did on Iraq World, Motorized Pants, and License Plate Obscurer. However if anyone has any actual musical talent I’d be up for a collaboration.