Baby Monitor

Instead of lifting with aggressive music playing in your headphones, try doing it to the sound of a baby monitor.  I put Quincy down for her nap and usually wait til she’s quiet for a while.   But sometimes if I’m in a hurry I just have to start lifting and hope she falls asleep.  Otherwise I gotta go back upstairs, wash the chalk off my hands, and try to “reset” her.

What I prefer hearing through the monitor, in order:

1. Silence.  However I have this irrational fear that the squealing sounds when I adjust the pins or the noise of clanging weights might somehow awaken her.  Even though this is acoustically impossible, I swear it has happened several times.

2. The static that lasts for several minutes when the heat comes on.

3. Baby babble.  She says the ABCs, or starts singing, counting, or talking to her stuffed animals/dollies.  Very cute but not particularly conducive to heavy lifting.

4. The stuffed animals which make soothing sounds.  Hearing “Elmo’s so sleepy…” in a narcoleptic, high-pitched voice, followed by a lullaby jingle, a hundred times in a row borders on torture.

5. Intermittent whimpers.  “oh shit she’s waking up.  oh okay good, she’s quiet.  wait, there she goes again…” This leads to me just standing there staring at the monitor, holding my breath and getting nothing done.

6. Actual crying.  You can’t lift during this.  “Well maybe one more set…” “It sounds like she’s falling asleep…” “I at least gotta finish squatting…”  Worst. Father. Ever.

7. Shrieking “Dad! Poop! Uh-oh!” I guess the only thing good about this one is that after I fix things, I can lift for a little while longer while I give her a chance to go back to sleep.

8. See number 7, but she’s just doing it to fuck with me.

odd/alarming noise (crash, ripping paper, demonic voices) followed by…

9.  hysterical giggling
10.  sobbing
11.  silence

Weight: 170.0 money

Squat #16: …515×1

i wonder if the bar is so low on my back that it’s IPF illegal which is one bar width below the outside of your shoulder or some gibberish like that

also it’s funny is that now the higher pin heights which used to be the easier ones are now excruciatingly painful as that part of my back is not used to the pinching and chafing.  hopefully it will improve

Squat: 325×3

Bench: …287.5×3

Deadlift off 1.5″ of mats: …365×1

Time: 48 minutes


6 thoughts on “Baby Monitor

  1. I thought of a new terrible idea for a squat style now. It could become as cool as this: Doing cleans onto your back.

    Here is my new technique. Put the bar on your butt and use your butt as the shelf for the bar. And pull up on the bar like you’re deadlifting it. Maybe mixed grip, maybe not. Then squat.

    Actually, here is another possible technique. A back Zercher squat. It’s a Zercher but with the bar on your back, but your elbows still holding the bar instead of your hands. This would allow for the bar to sit right about at the middle/lower part of the back.

    Hmm, maybe I will set a squat world record with these new techniques. Actually for sorta srs maybe the back zercher might work OK?

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