Put you on a T-shirt.

Wt: 173.2

That’s a PR, it deserves respectful bolding.  It’s my blog, I’ll bold what I want to (even if it makes me look like I’m writing a ransom note)

Saw Andy for the last time.  In retrospect, I like him a bit more than you’d guess from reading this blog.  The other day he told me how he squatted 625 (in wraps @230 bw) and I made a noise like “hm-yeah”.  Didn’t tell him that I’d watched it online and hoped that it would be high.  It’s called being a hater.  Now that he only comes to the gym once a week – to speed bench – he is much more bearable than when he and George and FatFriend were taking up the rack for hours with reverse banded chain good-mornings to a box or whatever.  Now the only thing I actually dislike about him is his ear gauges, which I find myself staring at.  He takes the bamboo/padlocks out during his workout,leaving droopy earlobes and a jagged wound.  Very disconcerting.  But yeah, um, as much as I hate to admit it, Andy’s okay.

Speaking of FatFriend, had this conversation about him with Andy:

Andy: Have you seen that guy Jesse who comes to the gym with George?

Me: Hmm, I dunno, what’s he like?

Andy: He’s a big guy…blahblah, sturdy, muscular, bulky…

Me: Nah, the only guy I seen George with is some fatso…

Andy: …wears ____ brand shoes, short brown hair, blue shorts…blah blah…pretty strong

Me: I only seen him with this one guy who squats 240 everytime which is like less than his bodyweight – wait, but he had blue shorts…

Andy: (not missing a beat) Yeah! that’s Jesse; so anyway…

Talk about politically correct.  Your new team member is a fat lazy fuck with $200 shoes who squats less than his cholesterol.  Own it.

Squat (no belt): up to 430×1; 315×3, 335,350×2, 355×3

Skinny trainer i never seen before training 2 women on the astroturf area, using various high-dollar Crossfit-type moves.  One may have been the other’s mom.  “Mom” was 40+, brunette, like 5’8, 180, ugly face but would be bearable if she lost 50 lbs.  “Daughter” was late 20’s?, blond, pretty, but like 5’8, 160 making her just too big to be worth fucking IMO (if you’re 6’2 and 220, i’m sure she’s petite to you, but at the same time I’m sure you can pull better chicks than this. 

Me (to John the BB): Beware! The astroturf area makes chicks fat and guys skinny.  I have a large enough sample size to prove it.

Trainer was leading Fatsy Sr. and Jr. through a toning and shaping workout in the cable crossover.  If you refer to my diagram, you’ll see that it’s beyond my line of sight.  (However high schoolers should still refrain from playing what my wrestling coach called “grab-ass and goose-the-moose”)  While trainer led daughter through an exercise, Mom deliberately stepped away IOT more perfectly stare at me from 10 feet in front of my face.

When I reracked the bar, I looked over at her and she made an expression like if you just saw a guy bend his knee like a chicken, i.e. kind of fascinating but also seemingly unhealthy (I’m sure my face was looking like fatman’s penis, i.e red, veiny, and bulging, as Celica and wo claim) 

During my set (350×2) I resolved to blow her a kiss or wink at her at the conclusion, or something to indicate that I caught her staring, what’s up you chubby cougar lose the trainer who looks too weak for golf, except to serve as a club, and get with a real man who doesn’t even need a squat belt.

Except then I saw that she was really fat AND ugly and I lost my nerve and instead just glared angrily at her, tell your daughter that if I was drunk I’d fuck her, but there’s not enough booze in the world for you, i almost want to start a fight with your trainer for not babysitting you properly.

BTN Press: up to 144x3x2

today cleaning it was fine but pressing hurt the rib.

Sumo+strong: …205, 225, 235

Time: 1:30

didn’t get yelled at re: time, but did get yelled at for not doing one of the 20 things my wife asked me to do – but refused to make a list of (because I wouldn’t do them.)  If that makes sense, you must have a vagina

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20 thoughts on “Put you on a T-shirt.

  1. “…who squats less than his cholesterol.”

    This was worthy of applause. Not that the rest of the post wasn’t.

    You’ll miss Andy. I don’t think your new gym will have elite-level squatters.

  2. I figure this is as good a place as any to ask this. When is it time to jump in and buy a belt? As I near a hallowed 3 plate squat (I know pretty serious for most high schoolers, not 27 year olds) I find myself thinking its time to get one. What was the point when you decided you want one. I havent had any kind of serious back injury but feel for longevity as a lifter it maybe a good idea. Basically what made you pull the trigger on one. K thanks,

    • I have worn a belt (for squatting and deadlifting) for as long as I can remember. So my answer would be “today”.

      A belt isn’t going to save you from crippling injury, but it’s a very cheap and useful tool for anyone interested in squats and pulls. Mine cost like $10, I’ve had it for over 3 years and will probably get at least another 3 out of it.

      • One of my friends at the gym said he’s buying an Inzer belt and wants me to try it. I still believe in the whole thing of belt making your core muscles develop less.

        • The “belt doesn’t develop core muscles” line is almost as good as “you have to squat to build big arms”. Best of Flex magazine, ca. 1998.

          Sure, every gym has that one weirdo who looks like the Butabi brothers from “Night at the Roxbury” and wears a belt to do tricep pushdowns and concentration curls. That’s probably not something one should try to emulate. But a belt gives your abs something to push against, and, if anything, helps them develop more IMO. Also belts might give you a small boost in poundage lifted, so your “core” will be working harder than usual.

          No belt is fine too. In fact, everything’s fine as long as you don’t start talking about “beltless totals”.

    • i honestly can’t remember when i got a belt. I think they help you lift more. More than wrist wraps on bench, but less than knee wraps on squat; though definitely closer to the wrist wraps side of the equation. I think powerlifters who blow their stomach out and sit back into their squats get more out of them than, say, Wo would if he started using one. That’s speculation though, as I liked using a belt for high bar squats too. I’ve found two groups of people who start using belts. The guys who wear them bc “my back hurts” are almost always garbage. They guys who wear one bc it helps them lift more weight are usually on the right track. (i’m talking the guy who’s been lifting for a year and gonna enter his first pl meet in 3 months e.g. Madcow, George, presumably Emilio 5 yrs ago – not the guy who’s eighth-squatting 500 – though secretly he’s in group #1)

      The major point where I disagree with Fatima is the quality of the belt. I don’t think the lever or double/single pronged is worth worrying about but I (and almost every other powerlifter/serious lifter/high school football player I know) have found that there’s a huge huge difference between a thick leather powerlifting belt that’s the same thickness all the way around (what’s the max legal width? 4″?) and a velcro Valeo belt or one of those ones that look like a dip belt w/o a chain. Keep in mind I’m not condemning fatman for having his own (wrong) opinion about lifting belts – but for telling other people about it.
      hue

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