Halloween is an example of a holiday that’s great when you’re little. Still good in high school when you’re putting fireworks in pumpkins and running from the cops. Also good as a young adult going to drinking parties where girls wear costumes that are always prefixed by “sexy,” even though in RL those two words would never go together: (I’m a sexy cat! I’m a sexy nun! I’m a sexy dinosaur!). Then, when you’re married with kids, Halloween is a giant piece of shit where you have to escort the little twerps around town with 0 enjoyment for yourself.
Mother’s and Father’s Days have always been pretty lame and continue to be so.
Mother’s Day as a child: Dad hauls me to the store and makes me pay some of my money to buy a gift for mom. I draw a card. On mother’s day, I have to be extra well-behaved. Don’t hit your brother, it’s mother’s day. Don’t throw that in the house, it’s mother’s day, etc.
Mother’s Day as an adult: Send my mom a card. Call her the day of. Buy a present to give her the next time I see her. Take the kid to buy Karena a present. Make him draw a card. Watch the kids all day long, except when I get to go to the gym. Karena spends 90% of the day playing Kindle games, sleeping, playing Wii, or surfing the web (sometimes 3 or 4 of these at once). I cook the “breakfast for dinner.” Karena is mad at me for some inexplicable reason, regardless.
Father’s Day as a child: Mom hauls me to the store and makes me pay some of my money to buy a gift for dad, which he will hate. Draw him a card. Can’t remember but probably spent some time with the old man that day. I guess I’m lucky cause some of you don’t have dads, or had crappy ones, and usually I did like doing stuff with him, but other times i wished he would be an MLB player and away all the time so I could get away with more.
Father’s Day as an adult: Send card to dad, call dad, get present for next time I see him. Get presents from “kids.” They are actually pretty good this year (bottle of Walmart Shiraz and bacon-jalapeno jerky). Go to the gym. Somehow get stuck watching kids the whole rest of the day, despite Mother’s Day (see above). “YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SPEND TIME WITH YOUR KIDS ON FATHERS DAY” But it’s fine. Went to the park. Played minecraft while my son sat next to me and shouted gibberish/advice in my ear “Mine spawn creeper sheep oooh egg snowball zombie…” Was gonna teach my son to play Pokemon cards but not enough time/energy, will try again tomorrow. Played mario kart 8, was a good sport about losing. Wife slept and played kindle/computer/wii. She tried to get out of making the Sunday breakfast for dinner: “WE SHOULD GO OUT TO EAT FOR FATHER’S DAY. WE DIDN’T GO OUT FOR MOTHER’S DAY, REMEMBER?” Too bad.
Actually, it was all right. Take a look at this card I got from my son:
feel free to comment, keeping in mind he’s 7 and this isn’t Maddox. Still pretty funny/odd and some of you will get why immediately.
Weight: 187.2 (+1.2)
Low Bar Squat: 45×6, 45bbx5, 135bbx4, 225bbx3, 315bbx2, 375bb nb, 405, 430, 450, 460, 470; 380×2,2,2,3,3,2,2,2,2,2,2,3,3
Exchange with cottage-cheese assed PAWG trainer after I squatted 450:
Trainer: Omigod, that’s so good.
Me: Thank you.
Trainer: You make it look not even heavy! I mean for me, this is heavy! [indicates 75 lb barbell with puss-pad that she’s using to do some sort of push jerk/jumping lunge hybrid]
Me: Oh, ha ha. [puts headphones back on]
Still sick, took aspirin and sudafed before workout so I feel my performance was commendable, except that I may have hallucinated some of my sets, and spent majority of rest time coughing, sniffling, clearing throat, sweating, and possibly, groaning. Still did last 8 sets of volume with 4 min rest and either band pulling or deadlifting between.
BTN Press: 45×8, 89×4, 135×3, 145×2, 150×2, 155, 160, 165, 170, 175; 135×4,4,4,3,3,3
Got 175 about halfway up but couldn’t lock it out.
Sumo + strong bands: 4 sets, all PRs, up to 155 off 3.5″ deficit.