Have a cold. My son got sick first; he has asthma and allergies so he missed two days of school where he just hung around playing video games and occasionally coughing/getting a nebulizer treatment. We got Mario Kart 8 which sends my blood pressure through the roof as both my wife and son can beat me at it, but I still enjoy playing, but they practice more than me. So I’ll play it with them and rant and rave and grumble and in general be a poor sport and terrible husband/dad. But at least we all play together.
Anyway, then my daughter and I got sick. We both have the same symptoms: runny nose and general malaise. We are both crankier than usual, the only difference is that she expresses her crankiness by: 1) throwing her pacifier on the floor, then screaming because she doesn’t have a pacifier, and 2) refusing to accept food or drink unless it is presented to her in a acceptable (but secret) format. For example, yesterday I tried to give her a couple of animal crackers. She wouldn’t take them from me, and swatted at them, then rolled on the ground crying. Karena tried next, and she didn’t want them either. Karena tried putting them in a plastic bowl, and that was the secret. But before eating them, Quincy dumped them on the floor anyway.
I’m not allowed to express my crankiness like this, so instead I just become irritated with everyone at the gym in a similar fashion. If they compliment me, I get annoyed at them for talking to me. If they ignore me, I feel like they should come up to me and pay me compliments.
Despite not feeling well I went to the gym anyway, because otherwise I’d be stuck at home all day watching the kids. Yes, going to the gym while sick is preferable to spending time with my family. My wife cannot know this, so I took some ibuprofen and phenylephrine and vitamin c, and fruit juice and pretended everything was normal. It was a pretty good workout considering.
Here’s another example of my crankiness, but it could just be my normal personality. There’s two college kids at the gym, we’ll call them Bryce and Bryan. Bryce is bigger, he trains a little heavier and more consistently, he’s maybe 5’10 and 180. Bryan is the same height maybe 170. I don’t know. I like both of them. They’re good spotters, they train pretty sensibly, we occasionally chit-chat. Lately I’ve been irritated with them (though careful not to show it) because they’re making decent progress on bench. Bryan can do an ugly 275, and Bryce is approaching an ugly 315. The other day, Bryce was doing 315 for 1-2 ugly reps on decline; which I thought was in particularly bad taste, as untutored onlookers who saw me benching 315x5x3 next to him might fail to notice a significant difference between us. Listen you motherfuckers, this is all I have. You’re tall, good-looking, get to go to college, and party regularly. You have bright career prospects, and probably hot young girlfriends whom you can swap out when you get bored with them. I’m a sweaty, hairy little troll who has wasted an unimaginable amount of his life with this shit. I’ve trained for 16 years more than you and all I have to show is about 70 lbs (figuring I could “press” 375 as well as Bryce “presses” 305). 4.375 lbs a year. Unacceptable.
Weight: 186 (-1.8) you think it’s fat but it’s not. (get it? say it out loud; so clever)
Manta Ray Squat: 45×6, 135×4, 225×3, 285×2, 325nb, 355, 380, 390; 345x12x2
Could have gotten the last 6 reps, maybe would have had to go to singles, was on the verge of passing out after each double. But decided don’t want to make a practice of extending workouts past 2 hours as it is a slippery slope.
Medium Grip Bench: 45×10, 135×4, 225×3, 275×3, 320×2, 340, 350, 360; 300×5,4,3,3,3,3
Sumo+Avg band: 190 off 5″, 205 off 4.5″, 225 off 4″