What use is other people in the gym, unless they’re spotting you?

Chad pestered me like 4 times today in the early part of my workout, wasting vital time with gossip, though it was interesting at least, so I’ll repost several of the items here.  Just wanted him to get it all out at once but he kept coming back over and motioning for me to take off my headphones.  Had to be strict with the time today as I needed to get home and shave my head before work bc my hair was making me hot.

  • If Emilio spent more time lifting weights and less time researching weird shit like chains he would be stronger.  I told him that this is actually incorrect as Emilio got his workout from Jimmy, and I waste 50x as much time researching lifting on the internet (well I used to now i just mope and troll and stalk).  But I agreed that the 21 lb chain setup is a useless piece of shit. (btw Andy proudly announced that he did chain bench in one of his recent #updates)
  • That fat chick over there is the one I was telling you about who laid on that stability ball and popped it and me and PJ couldn’t help but laugh at her and she gave us a dirty look.  The fat chick was Holly, and although the story was funny both times, I said that she was cool. (which means that now if she does anything else funny he won’t tell me about it)
  • PJ called me and asked me to go to his ex-gf’s house and get rid of his stuff so that he wouldn’t have to come back from Jersey to deal with it.  Chad was annoyed, but the stuff included an expensive mattress, a wide-screen TV, and “$1000 of supplements” including 17 lbs of protein powder.
  • Top Cougar’s husband is back at the gym.  I actually knew this before, but here’s the deal:  According to Chad and John the bodybuilder, Top Cougar’s husband was diagnosed with “serious cancer”.  I found this out after I’d lusted for her on my blog and made fun of her workout.  It bummed me out and actually stopped me from fantasizing about her for a while, which is why I didn’t share it with you guys.  Though I kind of doubt anyone here gets off to my text descriptions of the cuties in my gym.  Now he’s back (I saw him the other day).  Still doing fake crossfit workouts.

Two of my latest:

On a blog filled with Christian apocalyptic nonsense, I figured gibberish was my best bet.  I was right, and should have aimed higher:

2014-06-11 21_42_29-About _ Humanity777's Blog

And perhaps my all time greatest achievement both in trolling and not-so-subtle hueing:

2014-06-11 22_06_34-The Best In Protein « Healthy Lifestyle

Low Bar Squat: 45×6, 45bbx5, 135bbx4, 225bbx3, 315bbx2, 365bb (nb), 405, 425, 445, 460; 375×2,2,2,2,2,2,1,2

Making matters worse, I got home and saw on Facebook that George did 365x5x3 (in knee wraps and @220, but still, according to Elizabeth Vandiver, timê (τιμή, “respect, honour”) in the Iliad is a zero-sum game.)

BTN Press: 45×8, 89×4, 114×3, 139×3, 149×2, 154×2, 159; 135x5x3

Sumo Deadlift: 320 off 5″, 345 off 4.5″, 365 off 4″

Time: 1:55


16 thoughts on “What use is other people in the gym, unless they’re spotting you?

  1. Huehuehuehuehue

    Seriously, I dunno why, but all that comes out when I come comment is laughing onomatopoiaes… I think I used up all my words “arguing” with the Fat one.

    • i try to do a squat set towards the pr every 5 minutes. a little faster in the beginning (3-4 min), a little slower for the last 2 or so (6-8 min). but doing a set of band pull aparts and presses between.
      for the volume, usually i set a goal like 3 reps every 5 minutes or 2 reps every 4 minutes
      see the post called “cardio”

      • LOL. Most of them just repeat one or two phrases, the more prominent ones have a couple different dialogue options you can pick, like Fallout 2. But none of them are of essential importance to the main quest.

        • Generic Old Guy: Dialogue about the weather.
          Old Woman: That’s a lot of weight!
          Emilio: What is a reverse band box squat?
          Chad: Anecdote about PJ or malicious/funny gossip
          Random person: Do you compete?
          Porter: Did you hear that lifter X (who you couldn’t give a fuck about and who may be fictional) lifted Y pounds?
          My wife: I thought you said you’d be back by ___ o’clock.

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