On the road I do One Direction numbers.

Complaining to gym buddy who works at supplement store about:

1. Disgusting SES prime protein.

2. Fat woman with 3 chins who works there and gives personal recommendations: “Oh you’re gonna love this, this is my favorite brand of [protein, prohormones, herbal viagra, lifting straps]. Any time she says this, I want to do an about-face and put the shit back on the shelf.

Buddy: How did you feel when you were taking Carnivor?

Me: How did I feel? I wanted to kill people and tear things up.

Buddy: From protein powder??

Me: No, I just feel like that all the time.

Manta Ray Squat: 45×6, 135×4, 225×3, 280×3, 315×2, 350(nb), 375, 395; 335x4x3, 335x6x2, 335x2x3

(nb) is the highest set I did with no belt, look small victories ok

Bench: 45×10, 135×4, 185×3, 235×3, 285×3, 315×2, 335, 355, 365; 310×3,3,3,3,2

Sumo+Lite band: 3 sets, all PRs, up to 275 off 4″ deficit

Time: at least 2:10, wife was already mad at me when I went to gym – balance of wanting to stay extra long to avoid her wrath – but knowing that too long will further aggravate her.


12 thoughts on “On the road I do One Direction numbers.

  1. I feel like I’m the only guy who doesn’t use a belt. Maybe it’s because I’m an idiot and never bought one. Maybe it’s because I only started lifting in October. I’m doing Texas Method and I hit 165kg for 5 on Friday. Maybe try going beltless for a while and see if it helps bring up the numbers? Aren’t people supposed to go beltless until they start prepping for the meet?
    Take this all with a grain of salt because I don’t know anything.

    • sheiko wants guys using belts above 135 lbs. i think that’s extreme but that’s just my 2 cents. There are benefits to training beltless and I’m not going to rehash them here, IMO they’re probably exactly what you think they are. But one thing that people (except for sheiko obviously) often overlook is that a belted squat is different in terms of form and breathing, and since I want to squat with a belt in the meet, I want to do my heaviest sets with the belt. I predict you will start using a belt either a) when your progress stalls, or b) when you enter a meet. Sure, future you can squat 400 beltless, but even raw rules allow belts and maybe you could squat 430 with one…??? And you will feel the same way if that meet is in 8 weeks whether those numbers are 200/215 or 800/860.
      If neither a or b come to pass, then fuck a belt.

      • As far as A goes, I wouldn’t know what belt to buy and if I’m not entering a meet than I shouldn’t care about maxes right? Which brings us to B in that I just don’t care enough to enter a meet because I have enough fun just doing general strength training and seeing how I progress. According to Justin Lazerman I’m a coward šŸ˜¦

        I did not know your meet was eight weeks away so that makes sense to use the belt. I lift at the university gym, and it’s an amazing facility. http://www.ed.ac.uk/schools-departments/sport-exercise/about/virtual-tours/pleasance-tour
        I’m one of the handful of people I see lifting without a belt and the only one lifting this heavy beltless. It’s not like it’s a hurr durr point of pride that I’m lifting beltless, I’m just still a noob, I don’t have straps either. I hook grip deadlifts so I haven’t bothered. Straps aren’t allowed in competition and since I’m not going to compete I could just buy some. I guess I’m just a cheap (read: thrifty) bastard.

        I should start a blog for three of you to read. It’d be like mopewod except replace awkward social interactions with unfulfilling social interactions regardless of how much booze and sex is involved.

        • A: 4 inch power belt. and yes your maxes are your identity.
          B. absolutely acceptable, it’s like writing without trying to be published or being in the military but not going to war. i mean you see why some people would want to – but other people are perfectly happy not. (this one is srs not a subtle dig)

          i don’t have an upcoming meet I was just making a point. straps are silly. you’re cool in my book for what that matters. I mean yeah, have fun, if you do a meet, get a belt.

          “replace awkward social interactions with unfulfilling social interactions regardless of how much booze and sex is involved.”

          one time i had a threesome with a girl I was seeing and her roommate who was dating my friend. well I actually just made out with both of them, then the roommate left and I banged the girl I was dating. so can’t even count it as actual MFF threesome (even though I did in the 1st sentence). Then in the morning they were both REALLY really angry with me “You cheated on me!” “You cheated on my best friend!” and I had to flee and they both made my life miserable for like 2 weeks. does that count?

          • There is an argument though that since training with a belt allows heavier weights to be used, the heavier load will work the structures better? I was noticing today as I did my volume squats (texas method) that I was getting a dirty look from the guy across the rack from me as he was putting on a belt for what I imagine was him working up to a max at a weight that was only a bit higher than my 5×5 weight of 150kg. I’m not trying to be some macho tough guy (plenty of those already) and I could probably use it considering how my lower back felt like it was on fire for these sets. However, I was able to keep a neutral spine throughout the whole movement so I shouldn’t be using it? Fuck I don’t know, only been lifting for 10 months yolo

            Here’s a recount of something that happened a few weeks ago:
            There’s this guy here that I run into a lot that I know through the university. Different programme but similar field. Let’s call him Rupert. For a guy with a name like Rupert and the appearance associated, this guy is an absolutely insane party animal. Every few months I invite him somewhere when I plan on getting absolutely tanked because I usually end up having some sort of crazy time and then swear I won’t see him for a few months.

            I run into him at a club that I frequent because it’s open until 3, has free entry, and you can get a spirit and mixer for Ā£1. I was already drunk when I showed up so I was very happy to see him. Long story short, we end up taking a cab back to the place of these two girls. Fast forward and he comes into the room I’m in, saying that her boyfriend has shown up. I abort my activity to check out this situation and it’s just some bloke who isn’t threatening who really doesn’t know what is going on. I sigh and tell Rupert we’re leaving. Turns out he left his coat in his girl’s room, so he has to go back in and retrieve this as I try to be as laidback and non-threatening to this boyfriend character who has come over to his girlfriend’s to find guys with non-Scottish accents randomly appearing.

            So Rupert gets his coat and as the girl is passing it back to him, she takes her number out of his pocket. You could actually pinpoint the second his heart ripped in half. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tFDsL_mwBY
            To make this worse, the complex has multiple tiers with a fancy/bullshit key system. It turns out we can’t fucking LEAVE the complex without a key. We can’t head back upstairs and ask the girls to let us out because we don’t have a key. We can’t call his girl because she took her number out of his pocket and I didn’t bother to get the number of the girl I was with before we went over (I’m not some huge dick maybe I am idk but it’s not like I had time once other girl’s bf arrived). Blueballed and tired as hell because I don’t make it a habit to stay out until 6am on a weekday (but I can because I make my own work schedule hurr durr writing dissertation) I just end up plopping on a sofa to take a nap and wait for reception to show up in a couple hours. Rupert is about to go through the fucking fire door when I compromise with him to call the 24 hour helpline of the building and someone appears out of nowhere to let us out.

            Turns out I was a 75 minute walk away from where I lived (no car cause city) so Rupert paid for a cab back to our area. Needless to say, I’m off this guy for a few months at least. I hope I don’t run into him while I’m drunk again because who knows what will happen.

            I guess I’ll start a blog šŸ˜‰

          • That’s a good one and I won’t even try to story-top you. Well, there’s the “900 pound weekend” (it will probably make slightly more sense to you if I call it the 64-stone weekend) but i’ll save that one for later. I am going to start calling you “Rupert” because it is a funny name.

            Yeah, that is true about the belt/structures/heavier weight. But I don’t think it makes a difference. Like if I was to always dick around with 150 kg beltless squats it would be a bad move. But for you, you’ll squat 180 kg with no belt, and you’d hypothetically be able to do 200 kg if you had a belt (you squat low bar, right?). But then a little while later you’d be able to do 200 kg without the belt and 215 kg with. Or whatever.

            bottom line: If I wuz you I wouldn’t bother with a belt – unless you want to.

            and start a blog

  2. I’m from Canada and now live in Edinburgh. I’m used pounds but since my gym exclusively has bumpers and it’s the UK I work in kilos and get to weigh myself in kilos too. The guys at the gym here usually tel their weight in stone and I have no fucking idea what they’re talking about and have to bust out the calculator on my phone. Is there a fucking scale that weighs shit in stone or do they just take the kilo weight, then multiply for pounds and divide to stone? Fucking ridiculous system of measurement.
    As far as me no longer knowing my weight in pounds out of laziness, I have no comparison except trying to see what weight class I would compete in and that would probably be 105kg unless I dieted down to 93kg but that’s not what you do for your first meet they say.

    I am eagerly anticipating the “900 pound weekend.” There’s no way I’m a Rupert. This kid is a Manhattan blue blood. A lot of people studying here are loaded or upper middle class at least and didn’t have to work their ass off. The probably appreciate being able to have me around to add legitimacy to their slumming it up. Until you see a vid of my lifts just think of me as a guy who would have pretty decent cuts if he didn’t drink so much. Too bad it’s summer and that’s pretty much the basic activity for 20-somethings and early 30-somethings to do after doing research all day.

    We’ve solved the mystery of the belt then. I do squat low bar. I switched to it a few months ago. Even though I was on SS I was still squatting high bar and now I have lagging hamstring development. On Friday’s intensity day the rx is 167.5 for 5 and since the 165 set was easy I should have no problem getting it.

    • I remember in the 90s my old coach would always play “Whole Lotta Rosie” before/while he did his heaviest set of squats. In the song, rosie weighs 19 stone, and this was pre-internet, so a frequent post-lifting topic of debate was how much that actually was. (266 lbs for you lazy types, though bon scott said in the liner notes that she was 305)

      I just think the name Rupert is funny. For example – and this is not the kind of story that will impress anyone – when I change my daughter (whose name is not Rupert either, btw), I will sometimes say in my British gameshow host accent “Rupert – are you a Poopert?” and if she has indeed crapped herself, I’ll loudly announce “Rupert – you ARE a Poopert”. I dunno, she thinks it’s pretty funny, but she’s 1.

      • The name Rupert IS funny, which is why I chose it. His actual name is even more ridiculous.
        I’ve read your paragraph three times now and it made me laugh every time. I love dad jokes. I tell a lot of them. I’ve yet to find any Scottish wife or girlfriend material here, but that’s probably because I just end up meeting posh English or American students or girls you find in a place with drinks for a quid.
        I’m not 1 (23 next month whoop de doo) but I can continually praise you for your jokes on behalf of your daughter. You can be my dad too and I will become Rupert Christmas, the Beltless Squatter.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s