One day, a few months ago, some great-great uncle died. So, we told Rex the news when he got home from school. He frowned, and then asked if he could play video games. That night, when we said his bedtime prayers, we included the uncle. Everything was still fine. Twenty minutes later, he starts hollering.
I rush into his room, and he’s sobbing, “I don’t want to die. I don’t ever want to die.”
Fortunately, I’d just been reading about the technological singularity. So I explained to him that he might not have to, that if he could just make it to 2045 or so, they’d probably be able to upload his brain into a computer, and then download it into a new body, etc, etc. I talked to him about it for ten minutes or so, because a) he seemed pretty upbeat and fascinated, b) it seemed a lot easier either the “Everybody dies…heaven…theology…etc.” conversation, especially at that late hour, c) new, captive audience: my wife groans the instant I start telling her about something I’m reading. When I left, Rex was drifting off happily to sleep.
The next day, got a call from my wife while I was at work: “YOUR SON IS SCREAMING AND CRYING THAT HE DOESN’T WANT TO BE TURNED INTO A CYBORG. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS.”
Took the kids to the playground today. Rex took off at a dead sprint from the parking lot. I followed, walking at a normal pace. Wife followed, holding Quincy’s hand. Quincy the baby takes 4 steps to every adult step. The playground is about 350 meters from the parking lot. They were gonna be a while.
Sat down on the bench next to some lady whose great-grandkids (she looked about 70) were playing there too. Of course, she wanted to chat about a variety of boring old-person subjects (“It’s quite hot today, isn’t it”). After a few minutes she asked me, “Do you have any children here?” I replied, “No, I just like to sit on the bench and watch other people’s kids.” I paused for a moment, then told her the truth. She played it off like she knew my son was mine and she was just seeing if I was his dad, or his uncle or something, but I had her. Hue. Glad when wife got there and started talking to the woman. Wife is 30 going on 70 so they got along great. Showed my wife pictures of the clown college (not kidding) she went to.
MILF on the playground, about 5’1, with toned arms. Jeans cinched securely, so no whale tail, tramp stamp or buttcrack was visible when she bent down. Small breasts so wore gray tanktop with no bra so that nipples clearly visible. Instead of sitting there like most moms, was kind of hanging off of stuff. I mean, not doing muscle-ups or anything but you could tell she worked out.
Barely worth mentioning except she started playing a game with her son (6-8). He took her prisoner, and put a pair of realistic-looking plastic handcuffs on her. This was kind of strange, but also kind of hot if I could somehow delete the little kid chirping next to her from my mental images. He made her get inside some jungle gym. At this point, my son started playing with them too. They made her get inside one of those little tunnels. Her son guarded her from outside, and Rex got in the tunnel with her. Hue. She eventually escaped and they chased her, and then like 5 minutes later we went home.
Wife: THEY WERE REALLY INTO THAT PRISONER GAME, YOU THINK?
Me: Yeah that chick looked pretty hot with those cuffs on, I was having some lewd thoughts bout her.
haha I did not say this, long years of marriage have made me at least 0.3% more sensible about what I blurt out.
Me: huh? oh – that game he was playing with that lady and her kid? that’s nice.