A mini band has been mailed to Sweden. The exciting story of that will be posted tomorrow.
Telling my son the bedtime story of “Chav, the Boy who was made of Poop”
Day 1: Chav’s parents can’t have children so they are very sad, but one day a magical old woman gives his dad a blue potion and tells him to pour it on the first brown thing he sees in their house. But nothing in the house is brown because his side of the house is blue bc he wants a boy and his wife’s side of the house is pink because she wants a girl. Then he takes a dump. And he pours the potion on the poop because it is brown. Chav is born and his parents enroll him in kindergarten bc it’s his first day of school.
Day 2: Chav is unpopular in kindergarten because when he touches stuff, poop gets on it. Also, when he claps, poop splatters on the kids next to him. But then the janitor shows up with terrible news: Stall Three – the best toilet in the whole school – is clogged!
Day 3: Chav is hailed as a hero by his classmates when he volunteers to unclog the toilet. The janitor shows him the toilet, which he says is “The Worst Clog in 25 Years.” He throws Chav in the toilet and Chav swims to the bottom, where he sees a horrible sight…
Rex begged me to tell him what the sight was, but I’m making him wait for tomorrow night. But I’ll give a special hint to my lucky blog readers: Aliens are behind this.
Good training day today (see below). Then Andy and George showed up. I was done with my heavy squatting so I let them have the rack.
Also Andy brought his fat friend who lifts multi-ply and didn’t compete in the meet because he’s coached by [Giant Multiply Powerlifter who is actually pretty famous but I forget his name] who has beef with Jimmy the Meet Director and wouldn’t let him compete. cough, cough, bullshit. Andy taught him to deadlift sumo he worked up to 455 or so he weighs 242 or 275. That’s fine, I’m just telling the facts, son.
George’s wife Rhonda wrapping his knees, he squats 405, which is a PR (he did 385 in knee sleeves at the meet). I wish I could have a cute girl wrap my knees, or, since I don’t use wraps, maybe to put my belt on. Actually my high soccer socks are the most annoying thing that I put on cause my feet are always sweaty and they fucking twist. I digress.
Loud Larry arrived and marvelled at Fat Friend’s sumo deadlift. He and Andy had a loud and stupid discussion about sumo deadlifting. In Andy’s defense, any conversation Loud Larry has with anyone is stupid. A highlight was Loud Larry standing over the bar, getting in a sumo stance, then announcing to everyone in 3 counties: “WOW I DON’T KNOW IF I HAVE THE HIP FLEXIBILITY TO DO SUMO, BUT I COULD TOTALLY LIFT THIS MUCH WEIGHT CONVENTIONAL!!!”
Andy hit 405, 495, 545, all high. 405 would have passed in our fed. 495 was doubtful, 545 no way, unless we’re talking SPF standards. (he did 525 no sleeves or wraps at the meet). He didn’t ask me to judge his depth, so I didn’t tell him.
I left after watching 545. #jealous #hater #hadtogethomeWifemadepancakes
College Kid Observer (shaking head in awe): Wow!
Fat Friend: Oh yeah! And it was so fast!
Loud Larry (to me): ISN’T HE SUPER FUCKING STRONG?
Me (forced by social convention to be polite and pretend to be enthusiastic) : Yeah.
Loud Larry: AND HE HAS THIGHS LIKE HAMHOCKS! WOOO!
He later went on to squat 585 you can judge the depth for yourself.
Fat Friend is on the right. Can’t tell if there’s a spotter on the other side. Not sure why using spotters in a power rack.
Weight: 190.6 (-1.8)
Low Bar Squat: 45×6, 45bbx5, 135bbx4, 225bbx3, 315bbx2, 365bb, 405bb, 435, 455, 465; 350x10x3
I’m sure it was high. #hypocrisy
BTN Press: 45×8, 95×4, 115×3, 130×2, 140×2, 150, 155, 160, 165, 170; 130x4x3
Sumo Deadlift: 6 sets, all PRs, up to 415 off 2.5″ deficit
Time: 2 hours