My best fan…


I mean how could you want to disappoint this little guy?


Turns into a Bosch painting when we zoom out and see old pervert fondling his genitals (right) and fatso bellowing (top).  Andy is the one holding the pizza at left.

The college kids are back at the gym:

  • Guy deadlifting 135, then 155, then leg pressing, then squatting 109 lbs.  It’s ok, it was for multiple reps.  Had good form tho.
  • Had to wait for guy to finish squatting 155 to use power rack.  That’s fine.  Not so keen on him walking away between sets to have a long convo with some hipster fucking a foam roller on the astroturf.  Squatter (overheard): “Well, it’s great to meet you.”  So he didn’t even know the guy, he just decided to introduce himself?  Maybe they are gay.  Also fine.  Just not when I want the power rack.
  • Guy wearing knee sleeves, black chucks, and chalk, fucking a foam roller lewdly, then sumo deadlifting up to 315 for a single with great fanfare, then 275 for reps with mats under the weights.
  • Permanently tanned orange skank – good body, kind of a butter face, i’d hit that – working out in a skirt.  (She had light yellow booty shorts on underneath – I checked while she was bench pressing)
  • Super hot girl who must be 18 cause she’s in college but face looks 14 has giant breasts considering how small and skinny she is, tiniest black spandex pants ever.  I tried to wink at her because she was watching me wrap wrists before bench, but I’m not completely proficient at being a dirty old man yet so i had a facial twitch and blinked at her instead.
  • Skinny fuckers doing calves and forearms with great gusto.

Not college, still amusing to me:

  • Mega Mike (can’t remember what nickname I gave him earlier), the lone (alleged) steroid user at the gym (or the only one who shouldn’t ask for a refund) asking me what parallel was on squats and then not coming close.  He’s a pretty cool guy though and I have more in common with him than anyone else i.e. loser whose sole talent is lifting but is not remarkable by any meaningful standard. Today he told me that I “didn’t train that much”.  Found out he trains twice a day.  He does have a hot JAPpy-looking gf – with a kind of big booty – but it looks good in black spandex.
  • Former olympic lifter (had 120 kg CJ, at at least 100kg bw quit bc this gym doesn’t have enough bumper plates – you can make 249 lbs with just bumpers but i guess he doesn’t want to add any metal plates on the sides?), benching 135 and 185 (i’ll give him a pass on this one), puts on WL shoes, works up to 205 lb paused front squats.
  • Future State Champ (bw 170) missing 280 lb bench that would have been redlighted 30 times for bouncing and asslifting and other assorted malfeasance anyway.  Man I wish he’d competed.

This has been an awesome blog post, I’m taking tomorrow off from the gym and from blogging.  WTF Wo, you can make comments on mopeility but you can’t update your own blog for the first time in like months that I can actually relate to any exercise you are doing.

Weight: 189 (-1.2) got some Walmart whey and have been trying it, no problems yet.

Manta Ray Squat: 45×5, 135×4, 225×3, 275×2, 315, 340, 360, 380, 390, 400; 305×2,2,2,2,3,3,3,3,2,2,3,3

My knee hurt after the first double.  Just kept going.  Stopped hurting.

Medium Grip Bench: 45×10, 95×6, 145×4, 195×3, 245×3, 295×2, 325, 345, 355, 360; 275x6x5

Sumo+avg band: 6 sets, all PRs, up to 265 off 2.5″ deficit

Time: 2 hours.


17 thoughts on “My best fan…

  1. “I tried to wink at her because she was watching me wrap wrists before bench, but I’m not completely proficient at being a dirty old man yet so i had a facial twitch and blinked at her instead.”

    10/10. I’m sure you’ll get better with practice.

  2. I like your Gym Jabronis. Here’s mine: The overweight guy who can’t do a complete rep and wears shirts that can’t do a complete sleeve asked me to spot him while he decline benched 275 on the smith machine. Before he started he told me he was going for 10 reps. He 1/3 to 1/4 repped all 10 while I seriously considered pushing the bar down until it touched his chest each rep.

    Looked up Gillian Ward/ Gillian Mounsey after seeing her mentioned on mopeility the other day.
    I quit.

    • Here, I will tell you all how to get as many extreme monster elite bands as you want for basically free.

      Get some old bicycle tire inner tubes.

      That’s it. If you don’t ride a bicycle ever and don’t have old flat ones laying around, go to a bike shop (call ahead perhaps?) and ask if they have any inner tubes with holes in them and say you need them to make cheap resistance bands for working out.

      Done. No paypal, no shipping, no nothing. Just bands.

      • it just so happens that I use my bicycles (note the plural) quite a lot. I’ll take your advice and try that out. thanks.

        oh, by the way. it’s not for putting bands on when benching or such. just for pulling apart, as I hope it will improve shoulder health.

  3. Since Coach needs a day off I’ll post my workout for your enjoyment/ridicule.
    Weight: I don’t know. 190 maybe
    Front Squat 45×10 95×8 135×7 165×3 185x5x5
    HBBS 235×2,3,3
    OHP 45×10 75×10 95×5 120×3 137.5×3 147.5×3,1 137.5×3,3 120x2x5 115×5 95×6,5
    Pull ups 9,7,4
    50# kettlebell swings 3×20
    Time: 90 minutes
    I workout in my garage so no entertaining stories about gymbros. A neighbor stopped by while I was pressing but she was neither annoying or hot so obviously not worth talking about.

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