Andy and George were at the gym. Later Emma showed up and kicked the heavy bag and wore short shorts. Andy wants to squat more volume so he is doing 5×5 MWF, going up 5 lbs at a time. Today he was using 330. His squats were high (maybe legal in our fed), but George told him he was good. He needed like 15 minutes between sets, so I just used the platform like a boss until he was done, and did not show my annoyance.
The Enemy showed up and used the platform after I’d switched over. He just fucking irritated me today as he carefully set up his iPhone and his little bowl of chalk. Then he stretched out thoroughly and put on his expensive-looking weightlifting shoes. He squatted 95×5 and 115×5. Then time for box squats. He hauled out the little metal box that’s about 14″ high, wide and long, with rectum-perforating edges and corners, then did 135×3 and 155×3. He didn’t actually touch the box, he went down until he was just over it, like it was a dirty toilet bowl. Why he needed the box to (presumably) check his depth was beyond me, since the platform faces a mirror. I
Then it was time to start deadlifting. I started setting up my floor mats behind the platform. This is where I always do my deadlifts. There’s only one other place with enough room, which is behind the half-rack. Anyway, if someone’s using the platform, I usually
ask say “Hey, I’m going to deadlifts back here, but don’t worry, I won’t go when you’re doing a set.”
But the Enemy was sitting on his little box, playing with his iPhone – and I hate him so much I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him civilly. He was very close to the back edge of the platform. I figured he would move over a little or get up and do a set since it took me several minutes to set up for deadlifts (I threw some mats on the floor, did a set of squats, brought the bar over, got more mats, did another set of squats, all while he was sitting there) But he didn’t move.
So I set up – not facing the mirror as I like to do, which would have made me look right at him. Instead, I bent down, stuck my butt way out, and waggled it in his face as I seized the bar. I probably could have broke wind and knocked him off the box. I admit that, instead of the quick descent that I’ve been practicing the last couple of days, I did linger for several additional moments in a position that could be described by onlookers either as “stretching my hamstrings” or “sticking my ass in his face.”
After I did the set, I heard him scooting the box further away. Then he packed up and left, without doing his traditional pants-falling-down chinups, useless stretching, or 100kg deadlifts with straps.
Weight: 188 (-1.2)
Manta Ray Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×3, 275×2, 315, 335, 355, 370, 380; 285x10x3
Behind the Neck Press: 45×6, 95×3, 139×2, 149, 159, 169; 120x8x3
Quit floor press at least for a while. Now I do 5 exercises if you count my two kinds of squats differently. And count all my deadlifts as “banded deficit deadlifts” although sometimes the band and/or deficit is none. Also not counting extra upper back work which I do sometimes or my shoulder band pulling which I do always.
Sumo + Strong band
This is a ridiculously thick band adding 200+ lbs at the top. 11 sets, all PRs since it was the 1st time I’ve done them. Up to 205 off the floor, which was pretty easy except my foot slipped and I dropped the weights on it. Thankfully did not break a toe or pull my groin. Felt embarrassed. Probably karma. Repeated the set.