Me & Mo

You can read about the first time I met Mo here.  He’s a senior in high school, I think, and I emailed him a copy of Starting Strength.  Back then, he could squat an ugly 145×5, not to parallel (@180 bw?) and 4 months later I am proud to say that he squats an ugly 145 not to parallel.

Maybe it would help if he had read the book or followed a single bit of advice I gave him (like watch youtube videos and practice by a mirror in your room, and restart with the bar until you actually can do a single correct squat).  He usually greets me exuberantly and looks like he wants to talk, but I recognize this, and keep my headphones on and greet him with a friendly wave and a smile, then immediately look away.  But today he caught me:


Mo (motioning for me to take headphones off): [unintelligible]

Me (sighing audibly & removing headphones): What’s up, man?

Mo: Yesterday you were totally bending the bar!

Me: Um, thanks.  Yeah it bends with like 300 or so.  It’s all right.  Thanks.


Mo: I haven’t squatted in a while, just haven’t had any time. (He was at the gym yesterday for at least 90 minutes.)

Me: Uhhh…(trying to think of an appropriate response)  That…sucks?

Mo: I know!


Mo: So what do you think of doing machines for legs after you do squats?

Me: Machines suck.  Just do more squats.  Or do different free weight exercises.  Front squats…learn how to do front squats.  And Romanian Deadlifts.  For the most part, you want to stay away from machines, they’re a waste of fucking time.

I would have been a lot more nuanced if I was talking to someone who I actually gave a fuck about (i.e. I generally prefer free weights but certain machines can be a good and/or convenient supplement and if you’re training solely for size…) but I didn’t want to waste any more time on this goofball.

Ten minutes later he had finished his squats and was doing leg extensions.

Some other high school kids were fucking around, laughing and joking, doing a set here and a set there.  Also staring at me hard, especially while I benched.  (The cop spotting me commented on this; I was hoping he would cite them for loitering) 

Imagine what an awesome world this would be if adult women were fascinated by me and teenage boys spent all their time ignoring me and doing cardio.

These kids are my primary suspects in last week’s chalk explosion.  They’re the same ones who I yelled at for screwing around in the squat rack.  I remember because one of them looks like a potato.

While I was setting up for a deadlift, all three of them walked in directly front of me to get to the squat rack. Potato loaded the bar to 115 (25s and 10s, no collars, facing the mirror, but backing in and out of the racks) and did a few low-bar squats.  (He did actually have quite correct low-bar form)

Then they left the weights on the bar and went to bench press, then to the leg machines.  After about 10-15 minutes, I decided they weren’t coming back and decided to approach them.  My reason was that I didn’t want to get blamed for them leaving weights in the squat rack.  My real reason was that I enjoy confrontation, hoped it would lead to a fistfight, hoped I might get kicked out of the gym and the meet & thought it might help psyche me up for my final set of deadlifts.

Me: Hey, are you done with the squat rack?

Potato (smiling): Yeah, you can go ahead and use it.

Me: No. You left your weights on the bar.  Please put them away.

(unspoken subtext: …you little bitch)

(unspoken sub-subtext: I’m an angry little man who just wants an excuse to fight high school football players as a surrogate for my own earlier life disappointments)

Potato (smile instantly disappearing): Um, okay, we’ll be right there.

They came over right as I was about to do my last set of deadlifts.  I was right, it did boost my aggression.  This time they did not walk in front of me.

Weight: 190.8 (+1) went a little out of control with candy and oreos last night and by a little I mean i let my son extort $4 for a paltry amount of stale halloween candy then ate like half a box of golden double-stuf oreos which I don’t even really like.

MRS: 45×5, 135×3, 185×3, 225×2, 265×2, 305, 345

LBS: 225×2, 315, 365, 405, 425, 445, 455; 345,350,355,360×2, 365×3

MGB: 45×10, 95×5, 145×4, 195×3, 245×2, 285, 315, 335, 345, 350, 355, 360

Slingshot: 385, 405; 385×2

MGB: 340×3 (was gonna do two, then tried for another.  Got it, but lifted my butt a lot)

Sumo Deadlift: 8 sets, several PRs, up to 465 off a 1″ deficit.

Time: 2:20 hate benching bc it takes so long will probably only do floor press or only bench weights not requiring spotters or talking to anyone


7 thoughts on “Me & Mo

  1. Arghargahdhebxueb

    You gave me the feels hard here, especially because the three kids taking up the rack and platform and making a mess are high school kids doing above parallel box squats with 275-315 and floor presses with like 155.


    I’m not drunk, not really.

  2. “I’m an angry little man who just wants an excuse to fight high school football players as a surrogate for my own earlier life disappointments”

    High school football players… who squat 115 pounds? Nice try. They were probably the debate club kids. :):):)

    • no i would say this kid was like a sophomore who could squat about 225 @ 5’4 170. i don’t know what he was doing with 115, like i said, just messing around. he is a football player, and plays for the school Porter coaches though he is not one of Porter’s “guys” whatever that means.
      still doesn’t make it any better.

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