Chalk Explosion

Somebody got chalk everywhere. It was all over the floor, the platform and even some on the walls. 

It was not me.  I told a lot of people this, because it happened last Thursday and they didn’t clean it until Monday afternoon.  And, I’m sure I looked guilty – for a good number of the intervening hours, I was chalking my own hands while standing amidst this mess.

I suspect it was some high school students.  I’ve noticed some of them now have chalk in ziploc bags.  I don’t see the worst of the high school students because I usually go to the gym in the mornings, but I’ve had a few run-ins, and I’ve heard stories from other guys.

It was not me.  I’m afraid of being kicked out for chalk misuse so I always clean up my mess.  I have near OCD levels of how I like things at the gym.  I rearrange weights that are put on weight trees wrong.  If there are collars sitting around near where I’m working out, and I’m not using them, I’ll move them to a central location so other folks won’t hover around and try to grab them while I’m lifting. 

I’m sure most people thought I was the one who made the mess, even the people I told I wasn’t.  Especially those people.

Porter waved me over this morning and asked me about it.  In a non-accusatory fashion.  I know that he knows I didn’t do it.  He said that the owner of the gym (who also owns 4 other nearby gyms) called him about it and was irate.

There were signs printed up and posted around the power rack that said “CHALK IS ALLOWED AS A COUTESY TO LIFTERS.  IF YOU DON’T CLEAN YOUR MESS, CHALK WILL BE BANNED.”

Three observations:

1. Misspelled angry sign in all caps & collective punishment = I felt like I was back in the Army.

2. When someone pisses on the floor, they should remove the urinals from the bathroom.

3. A few months ago, Porter told me that the gym owner had called him, irate, because “powerlifters were monopolizing the equipment, especially on Sunday mornings.”  I have a strong suspicion not only that Porter made the signs himself, but that he has never been called by the gym owner.


Weight: 191.0 (-0.4)

MRS: 45×5, 135×4, 185×3, 235×2, 285, 325, 355, 365

LBS: 385, 405, 415

MRS: 225, 315, 350, 370×1,1,1

I am pretty sure that I lifted 365×2 yesterday by mistake.  Oh well, today was better.

DB Bench: 30×30, 40×40, 50×30,20, 60×20

BTN Press: 45×6, 89×3, 109×2, 119, 124; 89×3,3

Just quit military press.  Anything I can behind-the-neck press I can flawlessly hang clean.

Sumo Deadlift: 7 sets, some PRs, but mostly on high deficits with light weights.  Up to 405 from a 2″ deficit, but it was kinda slow, so I stopped

Horizontal Pullup: 2×12

Time: 2 hrs

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8 thoughts on “Chalk Explosion

  1. I’m pretty sure you spilled the chalk. Why else would you say,”it was not me” twice? Double denial infers guilt. Also, I would think porter likes power lifters. Is this not true? Also I thought you were still working out at your old schools gym.

    • porter does like powerlifters. but he likes being in charge of them. also this was probably a rogue high schooler. i haven’t worked out at school gym since idk 2010? this is a big health and fitnessy club

      and ask any cops. repeated denial = innocence. it’s when they start saying, “Well, if I did do it, then how come it was on the platform too?” or “I mean, i might have spilled some, but most of it was someone else” that you have a chalk felon.

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