Bret is Back

Today is Rex’s birthday.  We gave him Minecraft yesterday so he could play bc we went out of town today.  I played the tutorial for 5 minutes,  What is the point of this.  I’m supposed to dig sand.  Why are the graphics so bad.  I am in a hole.  How do i get out.  I quit.

The wife decided that I should work out this morning and then we’d leave after instead of me going to powerlifting team practice tonight and missing birthday cake and etc.  Which I was glad of.  Even though I had a rushed, guilty-feeling workout.  Not really rushed, it took me 2 hours.  It’s fine.  My wife can pack the kids’ and her stuff.  i’ll come home, take a shower, and rush around throwing my crap in a bag while she frowns at me.  Preview of a few years from now when she throws me out of the house.

Mostly didn’t talk to anybody today because needed to fucking lift and GTFO.  Porter started telling me something about sunday squats i.e. the same shit every week and I just raised my hand, said “not gonna be here then” and brushed by him.

One exception was a 6’5, 250 lb 1-A college football player home on spring break or some shit.  Shitty Hang Cleans up to 175×5.  Asks me if the hook grip is good for cleans.  I said “i dunno, Olympic lifters use it and they know something about cleans” & showed him how to do it in 3.4 seconds  His S&C coach should be fucking fired.


Weight: 190.6 (+1.6)

Low Bar Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×3, 315, 345, 370, 390, 400, 410, 420, 425,430, 435, 440

Manta Ray Squat: 300x6x2

TSV: 300/12

DB Bench: 30×30, 35×35, 40×20,20, 45×25,20, 50×20,20

BTN Press: 45×8, 65×4, 89×3, 94×3

Mil Press: 99×3, 135×2, 165, 175; 165x2x3

Sumo + Avg bands: whatever, set some 30 lbs pr with bands, 5 sets total, 195 lbs of bar weight on 2″ deficit on my top set.

Time: 2:00 took me too long to warm up on squats bc my outer thighs are so sore i feel like two guys wishboned me, like the kid in my 8th grade class who had to walk on crutches for 3 months (incident caused a letter sent home saying that pro wrestling would not be tolerated during lunch).


15 thoughts on “Bret is Back

  1. Not aware of this wishboning term your throwing around. Looked it up on urban dictionary and had a good read, but still pretty sure I don’t know what you’re referring to (I sincerely hope you’re not using it in the urban dictionary sense). Is it a wresting move from the bad ol’ days?

    I think a game like mincraft is fun because you start with nothing, and using nothing other than your own perseverance and a simple set of moves, you can waste hours away building whatever you’d like. Also, it’s cool to like mincraft, so most people who haven’t even played it (like me) are like oh yeah minecraft is fun.

    • wishboning is when two bad wrestlers pick up the good guy, each taking one of his legs and run in opposite directions. On TV, they drop the guy and he falls to the ground and clutches his groin and makes faces for a minute or two. in 8th grade the guys keep running until some ligaments get torn. Don’t worry, the victim, by 12th grade, was a shitty player on the varsity football team, looked like Fabio, and slayed more pussy than anyone at our school.

  2. I met some random college football player with the same type of proportions who was hang cleaning 225 and all I could do was muscle bicep curl 135 with totally straight legs. Later I front squatted 225 while he was around just to prove that indeed I would be strong enough to clean 185 if I had good technique.

  3. Watch some minecraft videos on youtube? I dunno. It looks fun to me but I don’t have the time to take on a hobby like that right now.

    Also, there is a kid in the gym I’ve talked to a couple times now. He’s doing all the ‘right’ things, meaning squats/deads in socks rather than runners, asked me about macros, etc. Said he wants to learn to deadlift hook grip and I told him I know guys with permanent nerve damage from hook grip. He’s primed to become a moper basically.

      • Yeah hook grip for oly lifts anyways will give you perm nerve damage in the thumbs in the area touching the bar, from what I’ve seen of oly lifting friends anyways.
        The kid in question seems quite sound and is doing everything ‘right’ so I don’t want to correct him, but you can see his feet slide slightly when squat/deadlifting in socks on smooth wood, and he is just generally taking things too literally for his own good. Maybe it will work out, maybe I should tell him he’ll wreck his knees like fatman says. Only time will tell.
        There was one guy in the gym that I assume has graduated now, that would do heavy quarter squats and then finally did his acl in while playing soccer or rugby. The two things were completely unrelated in his head of course.

        • I think it really depends on your hands. I do a lot of hook gripping, and I don’t have any nerve-damage on my thumbs. But I do have fairly large hands, and grip is never really a problem for me. I know people with small hands hurt more…

  4. Oh, btw, I told you about Clarence Kennedy. Here’s what he said about squats and a program.

    “What set and rep range I do, and squatting everyday

    Many people on YouTube ask: “What’s your workout for squats”, etc. Its funny because people think there is a secret to getting stronger when really there isn’t, it doesn’t matter what secret program you do, everyone is at different levels in the sport you don’t just get a random guy, bring him to the gym and tell him to squat everyday. It doesn’t work like that, everyone has different needs for there routine and with experience you can find out what to do, just like I did. If your a beginner and want to squat everyday, you should slowly work into it. Also it depends on your goals.

    What I’ve been doing for the past couple of years is: 5×5, 10×3, 10×2, 6×3, etc… Actually it doesn’t matter what you do (as long as your not going past 6 reps) its just about how hard you train but testing your 1RM(1 rep max) is quite important too, just to get the experience of lifting big weights. Lifting to 1RM everyday isn’t wise in my opinion, bigger weight = bigger risk with injury. When I go to 1RM its to get a PR (personal record).

    ATG squats can cure cancer they are awesome! Learn them today!”

    Also for deadlifts:
    “After you learn this lift never do it again

    Or never do it too often. Here’s why – When you learn a Snatch and Clean and Jerk your basically going to be doing this lift every time. Also Deadlifts aren’t an easy exercise to recover from , squats are a better strength building exercise and easier to recover from. If you gave me one week to try and improve my deadlift only, what would I do? Just deadlifts? No, I would actually squat twice as often as I would train the deadlift for that week. In the past I had a minor knee injury (I didn’t listen to the trolls on YouTube telling me I should go down slower) so I wanted to increase my deadlift while I was off squatting. I deadlifted everyday burning myself out and I actually decreased instead of increasing. After my week break was over I went and squatted like crazy, everyday I squatted and didn’t deadlift, eventually I increased 10kg onto my PR squat and for the hell of it I started warming up for deadlifts and got a 10kg PR too.”

  5. To do anything really cool in Minecraft you have to put wayyyy too much time into it. People have recreated whole cities and shit in that game, it’s ridiculous.

    There’s a game called Rust though that kinda sounds like an adult Minecraft. It’s an mmo-type game, and my buddy described it as “you start naked, with a rock, then you run around with your dick swinging trying to build stuff.” You also have to try to not be killed by other players, who are mostly assholes. You probably shouldn’t buy it for your son.

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