More Yelling

So the kids have the week off school.  I try to workout in the mornings most days, but since I was there for a while, they began to arrive in droves as I was finishing up.  A different, scrawnier, group took over the squat rack.

I leave my chalk on top of the trash can.  Sometimes if I vacate the squat rack (I was doing deadlifts on the floor in front of the half-rack), I take it with me, other times I don’t bother and just walk back over there to chalk up.  When I went to get chalk, this kid who weighed about 85 lbs was struggling to squat 135.  I mean he was bent over, the left end of the bar was practically touching the ground, the right end was way up in the air, and he looked traumatized.  Meanwhile, his friends were yelling at him.  “Come on dude, don’t be a pussy!!”

I stopped and watched.  When the bar had finally settled on the bottom pins and the kid crawled out from beneath the wreckage, I said, “That’s way too much weight.”

“We know,” one of them said. (not in a smart-ass way, more in a chastened, we-just-learned-our-lesson-when-little-Billy-almost-got-paralyzed way)

So I left them alone.  The other two did a couple more sets.  Billy chose to use the lat pulldown machine instead.

There’s this guy who is the epitome of fake crossfitters.  He often brings in his girlfriend/wife (looks pretty good in spandex from a distance, has gunt and hag-like face).  But he may actually be some sort of trainer, as now he is coming in with extra people to workout on the astroturf area.  Either way, it is a sad mimicry of the “cross-training” class.*  “Here comes the circus,” I mutter to my pals when the fake cross-trainers arrive.

*The official cross-training class, led by a different trainer, is at least a reasonably safe smoke-fest.  I mean they pay $20 to do chinups, squat thrusts, swing the battle ropes, flip the tires and push the prowler.  Nothing crazy.

This douchebag had this 20 year-old guy with a big gut on top of the bosu ball – which was on top of a 36 inch box.  The guy was doing something with two kettlebells. (Pistols?  Presses? Who Knows.) He was about to fall off.  I was unloading the bench press, and I just stood there gaping, waiting to see if he would spill.  Thought I wouldn’t mind testifying in court.  The “trainer” saw me looking and gave me the evil eye, but I just kept staring.  After the kid got down, they stopped doing that exercise.  I don’t bring my phone, but I should have borrowed someone else’s to tape this.

Weight: 192.4 (+0.2)

Manta Ray Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×2, 265, 305, 325, 345, 355, 365, 375, 385; 360×1, 380×1,1

sore and thrashed after yesterday’s extravaganza

Bottom Position Squat #13 (all the way at the bottom): 225, 315, 355

Gonna start alternating this with partial squats and only do box squats when I can’t get the rack.

TSV: 380×5

Medium Grip Bench: 45×10, 95×4, 135×3, 175×2, 215, 255, 275, 295, 315, 335, 345

Slingshot Bench: 365, 385, 395; 370×3

Medium Grip Bench: 320×2,3,3

Sumo Box (0.5″): 135×3, 205, 275, 345

Sumo Box (1″): 395

Sumo Box (1.5″): 415

Sumo Box (0.5″) + monster band: 205, 275, 345

Time: 2:20


19 thoughts on “More Yelling

  1. “…(looks pretty good in spandex from a distance, has gunt and hag-like face).”

    Looks I no longer need to go to Brent’s blog for the sexy talk.

  2. Best thing about your blog, Coachmas, is that it makes me happier and happier that I spent $1400 (and counting) on my garage gym. Fuck a bunch of hags in spandex, fuck a bunch of heavy benchers, fuck a bunch of personal cherbers. It’s just me, music I like, and light (seriously) weights baby!!

    • i get you confused with 7years a lot. one of you was an english TA, one is a pothead, one is married, one is addicted to porn. just all blends together. it’s fine.
      there used to be a 24 hour (not the chain) gym nearby. i thought about joining if: I got kicked out of my gym, they took away the squat racks, or if they ever discover that I haven’t been a student for some time.
      the gym closed, but I just drove by today and thought about renting the place, putting in one power rack, one bench, and charging people $10 a month for mandatory personal training.

      • Well I guess that’s an improvement over when you thought I was DirtyDave. I’m not a TA, I smoke pot 0-7 times a week, I am (happily) married, and according to some mormon websites I went to, I’m not addicted to porn, I’m addicted to masturbation, and porn is the vehicle in which I achieve my fix. I know, I don’t get the difference either. However, I have been improving greatly in the porn area, but I don’t think it’s due to some legendary display of will power on my part. I think it’s because my T levels are declining rapidly as I am on the wrong side of 30. Ah well. Probably by the time I’m 40 I’ll have this thing beat!! Also, if you’re new gym was within 10 minutes of my house I would totally pay $10 a month for mandatory personal training.

        • the sports training place i go to at my parents is like that. but not even close to $10 a month. but yeah, you stop by to just see if you can “work out” and the owner is like “sorry this isn’t that kind of place. try the [golds clone] 5 minutes down the road”

          • absolutely correct dave.

            but the one thing you two have in common is that you change your fake email addresses and the way you spell your names when you post comments so I have to approve each one.

            so, message to everyone is pick one fake email address and stick with it. please.

          • Listen here Coachmas. I have never changed my email address. That is a scandalous allegation. It has always been the same. And it’s my real email address. Hit me up and I’ll write you back. Furthermore, yes I went through a phase where I changed my name a few times. I can admit that. You try picking between SomeCowBoyGuy, CowSomeBoyGuy, BoySomeCowGuy, etc.. It’s not easy and I needed to try out all possibilities before I could choose. I did not realize until it was too late that you had to moderate all my comments. For that I apologize profusely. Look, I hope we can be internet broz4life, but it hurts so much when you compare me to DirtyDave. Please don’t chase me away.
            Your hopefully super duper moper friend 4eva,

          • ok well name, email address, whatevs, you’re both maniacs.
            This fooling around has to stop. this blog is a serious place of business. or as you would put it, a place of serious business. Or a serious business place. or…

    • I’m looking forward to the day when I actually own a house and can set up a garage gym. Although there’s a really fucking legit powerlifting gym near where I want to move that’s cheap, so that would probably be the better option.

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