Yelling at Kids

First, Porter told me that the big benchers would be training here on Wednesday.  They live in some other town.  One of the guys is like 19 and benches 390? raw @165.  That’s pretty good, but I kind of hate bench specialists unless they’re crippled or something.  They enter the meets raw and equipped, so get 3 attempts w/out shirt, and 3 with.  The last time this kid was here, he took like 3 hours to work up to 405 with a shirt, missed it and then left, complaining that he was up too late the night before.

“Wow,” I said, “Sounds pretty exciting!”

Porter then said that they’d be using the rack, because they were going to be working up to some big weights, like 400 for one guy and 430 for another; and that was the only “safe place”.  I mean it’s not like I’ve pressed 405 with a slingshot and 370 raw on the regular benches.

“Totally, man,” I said, “it’s all about the safety.  It’s fine.  I can squat in one of the other racks.”

Then he said, “Good, glad you’ll be here, we can use some side spotters.”

Looks like I’ll be coming in Wednesday evening instead.

Which, actually, might be exactly what he wants.

Porter = 90% alpha (75 yrs old, benches 275 raw @ 165, on TRT, has 49 yr old wife, hs football coach, retired navy)

5% gamma (passive-agressive, has pretty angry temper)

5% beta (into powerlifting)


So I’d just quarter-squatted 570 and there are these 2 high schoolers lurking nearby and gawking.  “Can I help you?” I ask.  “No, thanks,” they say, looking maybe a little timid.  Then I tried again: “Do you guys want to use the rack?  I only have one more set.”  They agreed, and even stripped my weights for me as I was spotting Emilio on bench.

Four of them started squatting, doing 135-205, with pretty bad form, though not as bad as adult “crossfitters” and some were coming close to parallel. One guy kept stumbling which was a little funny/sad They were all wearing football shirts from the school Porter coaches at, but he doesn’t actually train all the kids in the off-season, only about a dozen or so.

What was crazy was that because I was squatting facing away from the mirror, and they wanted to face the mirror, instead of moving the racks, they were backing the bar in after each set.  Also they changed the rack height for a few of the guys.  And would do this during a set, but wouldn’t be done by the time the guy needed to rack.  Finally, I was getting my water bottle that I’d left over there, and one side of the rack was set to 6, the other side to 5, two guys were yelling at each other, and the squatter was trying desperately to rack the bar backwards on the lopsided, being-adjusted racks.  I waited until it was certain that no one was going to be killed.  Then:

Me: Listen, if you guys want to squat facing the mirror, that’s fine.  But at least move the racks so that you rerack by going forward and can see what you’re doing. Don’t back into the racks.  That’s crazy.  That’s how this shit [indicating crooked bar] happens.

The next set and subsequently, they turned around to face away from the mirror.

Love yelling at kids.  Not really yelling actually, but whatever.

BTW, there’s an old fat guy who squats 115 (to depth, not bad) and backs into the racks, but I just ignore him.


Weight: 192.4 (-2.0)

Manta Ray Squat: 45×5, 135×3, 225×2, 275, 295, 315, 335, 355, 365, 370; 355×1,1,2,1,3,2,2,2,1,2,1,2,2,1,1p

oh yeah.  legs were sore & 370 is hideous – but the volume, wo!  tell your russian coach how awesome i am.

Partial Squat #10: 405, 455, 495, 535, 570, 590

TSV: 355×30

Dumbbell Bench: 30×30, 35×35, 40×25,15, 45×30

Mil Press: 45×8, 95×3, 135×2, 160, 180, 190; 145×3,3,3,3,5

No excuses this week.  It’s fine.

Sumo Deficit (1.5″) 135×3, 205×2, 275, 345, 370

Sumo Deficit (0.5″): 395

Sumo Box (-1.5″): 405

Sumo + Avg band: 135, 175

Time: 2:35


9 thoughts on “Yelling at Kids

  1. well my max all time on manta ray is 410. ugh i know. so my goal is to get 30 reps in after i hit my daily max. today the daily max was 370. i count all the box/partial/bottom position squats towards volume. and this was the 1st time i got 30 reps with 355. now i will never use 355 for volume again and always use 360 or more. so it’s the most volume i do.
    if by volume you mean a lot of reps in a single set – well any more than 3 is cardio/crossfit.

    • I don’t have thoughts on what program works the best (sets/reps/technique/whatever).

      If I did, I’d be frothing at the mouth about it on Reddit or the SS forums.

      I only wrote that because you’re clearly a reasonably strong man, and I would think you’d require more volume to make gainz.

        • Definitely. My program usually calls for half that. (Ranges from 12 to 20 reps in the 80-85% area.) Though, that also includes a heck of a lot of sub-maximal squats in the 60-70% range, thanks to my Snatches and Clean and Jerks. (My Snatch worksets are usually close to 60% of my max BS, and my C&J are usually 70%.)

          So, if I were just powerlifting, the squatting volume would probably be higher…

          • btw wo, this is weird, but we’re mopers so it’s cool. You appeared in one of my dreams. I was in some bar that had a basement (that was also a bar) and i ran into you there. You were like, hey man, and the weird part is that I had a kind of deja vu that a week ago we hung out and did some serious drinking (in another dream apparently). I ordered a beer (budweiser or some similar yellow american) and chugged it down. Then before we could get in any more trouble my wife (in RL) woke me up and yelled at me for taking a (20 minute) nap because i hadn’t finished cleaning the dishes like I said I was gonna.

          • “Serious drinking” = probably my evil doppelganger, then. Or after I quit full-time training? (Was time-travel involved?)

            Always a pleasure to hear I helped someone out with their work-avoidance! (Even if it ended up just being work-delaying…)

          • “some bar that had a basement (that was also a bar)”

            Sounds like some kind of hipster joint. Did they take their sign off the front of the building?

          • nah man, it was like you know how a big bar/club has more than one “bar” inside of it? this place had an upstairs and a downstairs. that’s it. i wouldn’t call it hipster. though more bar/pub than club for sure. but what the fuck you just got me talking about an imaginary beer joint in my head. what is wrong with us.

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