Yesterday I lied when I said I was going out of town.  It was a trap to lure my enemies to try and break into my house while I was gone.  I had my family hide in the shed.  Meanwhile, I perched on the roof with my Barrett XM109.  When the home invaders approached, I misted them.  “Recoil beyond human limitations” be damned.  Well, turns out I wasted 2 Jehovah’s Witnesses, a meter reader, and the substitute mailman.  Although they could have been merely clever disguises.

Actually, Rex was sick, so we didn’t go.  He’s fine, just he tends to spread germs to old people so we decided to wait a week.

Not like I stayed up late packing, counting on being able to sleep in the car.

So went to the gym here and had a pretty shitty workout though at least it was something.  I feel like Wo.  To clarify, I feel like an old guy who feels like a young guy who feels like a old guy.

Today the female trainer (cottage-cheese pants) was training a skinny, decently-hot, tall MILF brunette.  I wasn’t really paying attention to their workout, but at the end, the client was lying face down, rubbing her pussy against the foam roller.  I mean, I never foam roll, but if I did, that wouldn’t have been a reason not to use the roller.  However, she should consider how many nasty old men and grotesquely obese women have already rubbed their sweaty genitals on it.  Maybe I should warn her.

Manta Ray Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 275, 315, 335, 355, 375, 385; 375×1,1

Bottom Position Squat #11: 315, 405, 430, 455

TSV: 375×6

Bench: 45×10, 95×4, 135×3, 175×2, 215, 255, 295, 325, 335, 340

Slingshot Bench: 365, 385, 395; 370×2

Bench: 325×3,2

Sumo: 135×3, 225×2, 315, 405, 445

Hard, and maybe I should listen to Broz’s advice about pulling more lightly/explosively.  RDL, snatch-grip, deficit, trap bar, clean deadlift, rack pull, pause pull, sumo, conventional – it doesn’t matter, you can’t pull heavy every day.  Even if heavy is a 445 sumo.  Still gonna pull every day.

Band Pulling for Shoulders

Time: 1:50

benching takes forever

Got in trouble with the wife for muttering “This place is a prison” 20x a day.


16 thoughts on “Surprise!

  1. Hah! That is exactly how I feel. Well, minus the first “old guy.”
    I have yet to call any places prisons, but I do say, “it’s fine” from time to time…
    Also, those were really big jumps for the Sumo? I mean, I’ll give you that you already squatted, but you then benched in between… Let alone it cuts down on your volume with lighter weights.

  2. Btw, I did manage to pull 430 yesterday, and it was pretty ezpz. I’m going to take it nice and slow and try and stay relatively lean and see if I can pull over 500 in about a year or so. Just contue these 16 week cycles of increasing my max by 6%.

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