Mogul

Some high school kid with his friend in tow approached me during my workout and wanted to know how he could squat more.  Honestly, I was trying to get my thirty reps in & get home before my wife left me.  (Though it would be pretty awesome, as long as she took the kids with her.)

Kid: Hey, I don’t mean to bother you, but I notice you squat the big weights, and I was hoping you could give me some tips.  What’s that thing you got on the bar [manta ray].

Me (panting): You can do high-bar.  Low-bar.  Yeah squat more if you sit back, feet wide.  Olympic.  Google “high bar squat”.  If you want size.  Quads.  “So you think you can squat.”  Youtube it. anything from EliteFTS.  Sorry, gotta do another set.

Kid: Wait!  Do you take any supplements?  I take whey protein!

I told him I would set aside 5 minutes to talk to him if he showed up next week at the exact same time.  Hope he doesn’t.


Not like I’m going to set the powerlifting world on fire, but sometimes I worry that I’ll do a Paul Carter and get sick or hurt right before my meet.  I think the worst that would happen is a few guys at my gym and online would rib me, and I’d go out of state to a different meet a month or so later, so it wouldn’t be a big deal.  Still fretful.


Guys I barely know have heard that I bench pressed 400 lbs with the slingshot.  Even though I only told one guy about it.  Bench press = the only exercise anyone gives a fuck about in America.


Porter was one who heard about it and said he had twenty extra bench shirts laying around his house and said I could try one any time.  I was as gracious as possible but said no thanks.  Been down that route.  Tell ya what, if I ever compete in the IPF Worlds (masturbatory fantasy) I’ll shell out for a state-of-the-art, custom-fit Katana.


Weight: 190.6 (-0.2)

Three days ago @ 196, fat and depressed.  Today walking around house with shirt off, confidence and assholery high.

Me: I lost ten pounds in the last coupla weeks.  Can you tell?

Wife (joking): I gained ten.  Can you tell?

Me: I figured it was either that or you were getting shorter.

I’m a witty guy – and she has long painful fingernails.

Manta Ray Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 280, 320, 345, 365, 375, 380, 385, 390, 395, 400; 340,345,350,355,360,365,370,375,380,385×1, 340×2,2,2,2,3,2,2,2,1p

Dumbbell Bench: 30×30, 35×35, 40×20

Mil Press: 45×6, 95×3, 135×2, 175; 135x3x3

Tri Pushdown: 3 sets

Rope Pushdown: 3 sets

I like the single rope to use with one hand.  Like to have a tri pump when I squat.

Partial Squat #12: 405, 455, 500, 510

Mostly motivated bc I did not want to do this exercise a third (or more) day in a row.

Sumo Deadlift: 135×3, 205, 275, 345, 395, 405; 345×1,1

So who’s in for 410 tomorrow?  Colic said he was done.  Fats?  HS Illman?

RDL: 205×6,6

full hypocrite pussy mode.  felt good

Shoulder Bands

(been neglecting these)

time: 2:15

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24 thoughts on “Mogul

  1. If i could pull/squat 500 normally I think I could kill myself happy.
    High school = Bench
    College = Pull Ups
    Everywhere = Abs
    There is a lack of appreciation of a nice thick back, well built shoulders and big juicy legs (men). It’s okay not like we are trying get noticed anyways but I mean if you ever do just bench, run and eat less than 800 calories a day and you should be set.

      • Very few, if you are lucky she will think a big back, thick legs and ass are great. If not abs triumph all, you don’t even have to be muscular or aesthetic. Curl and Sit ups are your best friends to get laid.

        • In high school my well developed (without trying) glutes could have gotten me laid if I could interpret social cues correctly. This girl kept grabbing my butt. I thought she was making fun of me for being fat so I yelled at her and flipped out. Only later did I figure out “oh, she wanted the D.” Also multiple times as I was walking home from school girls yelled “nice ass, woooh!” to me driving in their car. Of course again I interpreted their compliments wrong as “hey you’re fat.” I think in high school I was like 180lbs at 5’7 and maybe high 20s% bodyfat.

          Another time a girl asked me “Do you know anything fun to do around here?” Because I’m dumb I said “Nope, I don’t do anything fun.”

          I’m pretty sperg, and it’s mostly/entirely my own fault I don’t have a GF.

          I think abs don’t matter that much unless you’re putting pictures of yourself on the interwebs. As long as you don’t look fat (no double chin, no big belly) and are wearing medium T-shirts and 34 or below waist pants that’s the societal line for “skinny.” Anything above that is fat.

      • yea right i got a big ass you could bounce a quarter off of. no one gives a fuck except my wife and only as a curiosity. like she makes me flex it and punches me in the glute as hard as she can and hurts her hand and laughs. i got big legs too. big short squat hairy ape. least my back is not hairy like sids

        abs maybe those got me chicks when you could see em.

  2. you wouldn’t be happy. trust me. you’d be me. buy a slingshot. the extra 40 lbs on your bench will make you feel better instantly. now I know why guys lift geared. i knew a multi-ply guy at my gym that squatted 700 at 181 (he might have moved up to 198 when he hit the 700, can’t care). He could not squat 405 raw, and was impressed that i could do reps with 315. Not kidding and this was not an example of him just saying that to make me feel good.

  3. I don’t know I guess raw has its own charm (I should change charm to pain). Yeah also I wouldn’t be happy I used to say that all the time. Middle school man if I could squat 2 plates I would be sooo happy, High school man if I could rep 3 plates I would be soooo happy. College man if I could do 4 plates for reps I would be soo happy. It has landed me no where but fucking misery, my persona itself hasn’t changed but got more bitter in my failure but there is a comfort in looking at others and saying at least I can be myself and have a handful of people truly like me for it. Maybe if I ever reach my goal of 500 I might start using gear.

    • I’m happy because to me the 405 barrier being overcome and having it feel relatively easy now makes 500 look not too hard. However my state record at 165 is like 550 or something in 100% RAW. I bet by the time I hit a 500 DL I’ll be benching 225. Oh boy.

      • caxx, you may be displeased with your bench, but at least the 1st question out of your mouth (keyboard) wasn’t about supplements. next week if he shows I should just give him a big list of shit I supposedly take.

      • “Then I’ll tell them about my Chinese herbs and tell them to only eat 130g protein a day and 400g carbs.”

        Caoch should totally tell that to the annoying HSer.

        “You wanna squat more? Stop taking whey and eat at least 400 gr of carbs per day. And take schizandra and three ginseng pills twice a day. Honestly, this is all the rage among Russian lifters.”

  4. This kid sounds like a moldable faggit. You can enlighten him and remove a future gym annoyance, or you can let him devolve into some douche shrugging 185 in the power rack.

    Monday some kid asked me to spot him on a squat with 295. He said “Oh you might not need to do anything, but I’ll need help with 315.” So I asked him what exactly he wanted me to do, knowing all along he was gonna tell me to get low with him until he failed and yank him up by his tits. I said I wasn’t really on board, and asked why he doesn’t just dump it on the pins. “Well, basically my pride”. At least he was honest? So he squats 295 with no spot, puts 315 on and gets the guy sharing the adjacent rack with me to spot him. He manages a couple reps before the two do their front-back sweaty embrace. I think he was squatting deep, so I guess he has that going for him. The spotter returns to my rack, puts 315 on, does a half squat, attempts a second, crumples, DUMPS it on the pins, yells “FUCK” and storms off, like the hardcore badass that he is.

    I skipped a free dinner with a top researcher in my field to experience this. I’m not a smart man Jennay.

    • i can’t do it fatman. I’ll just train him by telling him to watch efs vids on youtube. then I’ll test him to see if he watched it. if he never watched it, I’ll just never speak to him again.

      quisp that is an awesome story. good on you for not being comfy with that sodomy spot.

      was the researcher hot (assuming she is woman)?
      does she wear lab coat all the time even to dinner, have ugly glasses, and frizzy hair, but a 5 minute makeover could make her a 10?

      shoud have gone to dinner.

  5. Sorry to disappoint Broseiden, but I’m happy with my current programming and I’m going to just stick with it. 400 2×2 on Friday, followed by 425 for a new PR next Friday. Possibly 430, but that’s pretty ambitious.

  6. Pingback: Cherbs | Coach's Blog

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