Hornet Punch

A new powerlifter “Andy” showed up at the gym a month or so ago. (I think I posted about it, but can’t find it.  You’re not missing much).  Like every other powerlifter, he has a beard, wears chucks, and often, a beanie.  He also resembles me quite a bit, and people who don’t go to the gym a lot have confused us before.  He’s a little taller but not much, and about the same build. He lifts @ 220 Raw.

Anyway, I took a slight dislike to Andy because of this resemblance.  What’s that?  It’s not his fault?  Yes it is.  He should at least have the common courtesy to shave his beard.  Also he has the nerve to have a hot, heavily tattooed, kickboxing, squatting 185 @ 130 girlfriend)

Andy said some things when I first met him that raised red flags.  He was doing his first ever meet soon and said he was hoping to total 1365.  When a guy says something like this, in my experience, they always total a lot less.  Whether because of starry-eyed optimism; ignorance about what is legal (“what do you mean I can’t bounce it off my chest?”); the fact that missed commands & poor attempt choices can fuck up the best-laid plans; or just because it’s hard for anyone to be peaked for all three lifts on the same day, I would say that the actual total is usually about 5-10% less than the “I’m hoping for” total.*  And that’s not counting a significant number of first-timers – especially those without coaches, or at least more experienced buddies – who bomb out.  

*The only exception to this rule is total noobs who think they’re going to total 600 but then total 750 because they never deadlifted before or something.

Other factors that made me question Andy:

  • Trains “modified Westside” but he thinks 5/3/1 would be “too much volume” for him
  • Often seen lifting light weights – too be fair, I only saw him lifting 3 times but he was always doing speed work, or “not going heavy” that day because he was sore.
  • Decided not to enter the meet (because he lost his job and the meet was 4 hours away)

So I was pretty surprised to hear today that Andy changed his mind and decided to do the meet after all.  I was shocked to find out that he totalled 1405 (505/325/575).  That’s at least 100 lbs more than I figured he was good for.  (Also, almost as good a Wilks as I had last year.)

Anyway, that’s a clutch performance.  Gotta give credit where it’s due.

Finished Attack on Titan.  Awesome series and I was pissed when I found out there were no new episodes to be found anywhere.  The only time I was more heartbroken was when “My So-Called Life” was unjustly cancelled after only one season.

Fed the baby corn and pulled pork for dinner.  My wife, being Southern, makes amazing pulled pork.  The baby did not appreciate it, however.  She ate her corn – but started throwing the pork bits on the floor.  Horrified at how she was wasting protein, I got a raspberry yogurt from the fridge, put the remaining pork inside it, stirred it up, and started spooning it into her mouth.  She loved it, and I was quite proud of my ingenuity.  Until she figured it out and began pulling the yogurt-covered pork out of her mouth and throwing that onto the floor.  Now instead of little bits of dried up meat, I had to clean up pork yogurt splatters.  FML

Got some more dextrose in the mail the other day.  Throwing out the box when I realized in the nick of time that the supplement company had included a free sample of one of their pre-workout supplements.  It had an irresponsible name like “Hornet Punch”.  A lot of silly ingredients – and 360 mg of caffeine.  Felt little until very late in the workout, so the major effect was a lot of super-animated conversations while band-pulling, and rushing home to jabber nonsense at my wife about the slingshot.

Weight: 195.4 (+1.6)  Going out to lunch with one of my old professors and eating a bunch of Mexican food today is probably not going to help either.

Manta Ray Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 315, 365, 370

Excuses: My legs are sore and 365 is too big of a jump after 315.

Bottom Position Squat #10: 405, 455, 475, 485

Manta Ray Squat: 355,360,365,370,375×1, 355×2, 360×1, 355x1p, 355×2

Bench: 45×10, 95×4, 135×3, 175×2, 215, 255, 295, 315, 335, 350

Slingshot Bench: 315, 355, 375, 385

I felt like the biggest little man in the world with 385 loaded up and that red brassiere stretched across my chest.  Everyone mirin that I can bench more than I can squat.

Bench: 305×5

Snatch Grip Deadlift: 135×3, 205, 275, 345, 415, 460

RDL: 345×4,3

Shoulder Band Pulling

Time: 2:05


7 thoughts on “Hornet Punch

  1. Babies are dumb.
    Ruin, or Christmas, or Christ ruiner(not sure what to call you but it ain’t coach) what are you hoping to total at your meet? Also, what do you have against anti establishment folks that don’t conform to your narrow minded parking standards? I park where I want, man. Fuck big brother.

    • thanks for not calling me coach. it makes me feel silly unless you mean it in the “coach from cheers” way. i think 1405 would give me some useless federation record and be +100 lbs from last year. I hope to total 1710.
      re parking: you motherfucker.

  2. Pingback: Andy the Anomaly | Coach's Blog

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