The Pastor, the Mom, the Aussie Housewife, and the 47 year-old High School Student.

This entire post is about trolling and petty internet nonsense and time-wasting, so if you were hoping for a serious discussion of weighty issues – well why the fuck would you even come to this blog?  My training log is at the very end so mature adults may want to skip ahead.  Very well, you’ve been warned.


First: some Australian chick made a website basically dedicated to me.  I had a feeling that it would go away soon, so I tried to save it, but my Evernote failed.  Sorry, Quisp.  It was pretty awesome.  It had a picture of a troll on the top of it and the title was “You troll expected (sic) to be trolled back”.  The only post was a rant about “ridding the world of fucking jacked shit men who are on steroids and post stupid WOD sites,” which I found quite flattering.  But sure enough she deleted the site after only a few hours.  The funny thing was that I didn’t actually troll her, but she blames me for various maniacs who got on her site and undoubtedly left depraved comments.  If you are reading this, please put your site back up, even if you have an ass like Kim Kardashian.


A guy who I did troll was “DirtyDave”.  He popped up on mopeilitywod to defend Paul Carter (not against me, against the original post; I could care less about LRB/PC):

 I find it humorous that not only does Paul Carter not ever acknowledged you constantly taking jabs at him, but even in spite of that, you still do it. If you are so bothered(some might say obsessed) why don’t you ever comment on his blog? Better yet why not just meet him in person like a grown adult male and air your grievances? He lets people know when he is going to an event.

I accused him of being Paul Carter:

Paul, if you are so bothered, why don’t *you* act like the grown adult male, instead of leaving numerous comments here under at least 5 different fake names. You’re not fooling anyone, “Wo” / “Celicaxx” / “Fatman” / “RadBromance” / “DirtyDave”. I consider what you’re doing not only pathetic but also borderline mentally ill. Just because Bret [the guy who runs mopeility] is too mature to call you out on your conduct doesn’t mean that I will not.

Which was nonsense, since most of those other guys have their own blogs, but he fell for it…

You are an Idiot if you think that Paul Carter is several different people commenting on here. The writing style is not even similar nor are the types of comments. Not only that but if you weren’t such a moron you would know that Paul has no problem arguing with people on Redditch or anywhere else.

…although Bowdozer warned him:

DirtyDave channel anger back into your sarcasm detector now, youre going to crash!!! DIIIIIRTEEEEE DAAAAAAAAVE NOOOOOOOOO

So I persisted:

@DirtyDave aka Paul Carter – Listen, it’s not hard to disguise a writing style. Watch:

celicaxx: “i like ice skating and asian things”
whutsthepoint: “she’ll never love me, mmm”
DirtyDave: “How dare You question Paul carter i Know him and He is a Really good Guy.”

See? You’re not fooling anyone here.

So Dave gave it a shot:

Ok here let me try.
ruinchristmas: anyone who doesn’t assimil-mope on LRB must be Paul Carter pretending to be someone else. Man that was hard to say with Brent’s throbbing 5″ cock in my mouth.
that was pretty close right?

But only got this response from some other guy:

Actually no that kinda sucked.

At this point Dave got mad and started leaving angry misspelled comments on my blog.  Which went automatically to trash because he posted them using my name.  Still, it was funny to see how mad he was getting.

I counterfired:

Paul, you’re right. I apologize. Your blog is serious business. I learned that the hard way when you left comments – under my name – on my own blog. “Just do front squats idot” and “kill Yourself you waist of flesh” I see now that I was wrong and shouldn’t have messed with you. I’ve deleted these comments because they would have been confusing to my readers. But I’m posting them here so other people with blogs know not to mess with you and LRB. And also because my pastor and my mom read my blog to see my fitness and lifestyle advices. Please do not leave comments like those again as they were quite hurtful to me. I now see what you’re going through. But if you apologize for pretending to be people who you are not, I won’t accuse you of it any longer.

Dave thought I was serious:

What is wrong with you man? You have some serious emotional issues. I’m not Paul Carter bro. If he wanted to comment on you he would do it with his own name he does all the time

And how is me telling you that I’m not paul carter hurtful? Your acting very paranoid and all issued was that your an idiot for thinking I’m pretending to be someone else. Why would your mom and pastor care?

I wasn’t:

@Paul Carter and who ever else is making fun of me here and posting mean messages on my blog urging me to kill myself: Please stop. I can’t let my mom or pastor see bad language or violent threats bc this fall when it happened I lost internet privileges and got grounded for a week. Today I had an indoor track meet – which I had to skip – bc I wanted to make sure none of the comments got through. If it happens again my mom will not be buying me a car when I am old enough which I am not going to let you or any other blogger stand in my way of.

So I’m glad you had your little fun at my expense. Teasing people and pretending to be someone else on the internet is real mature.

Also if you want to handle this like the big man you claim to be on the internet, I think you’ll be having a surprised coming to you. I’m not some geek like alot of the other guys here. i play football, am a green belt in taekwondo, and can bench 245 pounds.

Also you may think that I’m just some guy who sucks up to Bret online, but I’ve got another surprised: I know him in real life and we are quite good friends who play Starcraft all the time and have even worked out together. So unless you want to get banned for LIFE from not only here, but also 70sBIG, an apology is in order. This is your final final FINAL warning.

Dave got worried that he was actually having/losing an internet battle with a teenager:

Seriously if anyone really still thinks I’m Paul Carter i’ve lost all faith in humanity. Yes I bought one book, Strong 365, but I’m not in love with the guy I just don’t understand the constant bashing of him.
@ruinchristmas-I didn’t realize you were 11-teen or I would’nt have even argued with your asinine theories. You want your mom to buy you a car? You must be fucking joking?! Listen I’m not trying to put a teenage kid to far down here but go live life a little then come argue with grown men about there internet identities.

So I confused matters further:

Teenaged? What’s wrong with you, DirtyPaulDaveCarter? I’m 47. Just because don’t have a car yet and live with my mom doesn’t mean you can get away with making fun of kids on the internet. Wait until the other guys on your website hear about this.

At this point, Dave was totally frustrated and confused and left the following (separate) comments on my blog (under my name so they didn’t get through):

Good bye everyone I’m ending it tonight.

SUICIDE is the only way out for me!

I can’t handle life anymore. Its too much to take! Tell everyone I love them I am ending it all now.

Hahaha hahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha [went on for 2 more pages]

I can’t handle life anymore. Its too much to take! Tell everyone I love them I am ending it all now.

Must have been a 47 year old specialist in the army who spent way to much time in, without making E-5 and then was forced to get out. Loser.

And then went berserk on mopeility too, leaving dozens of comments in my name:

@Quisp-why dont you hold your breath till you pass out and fall down a flight of stairs? Seriously just die.

The real ruinchristmas would not ask one of his few internet friends to commit suicide.

The real ruinchristmas is a grade a loser at all things lifem

Seriously not funny, whoever is stealing my moniker to post hurtful things as me. Please stop.

Ruinchristmas is a cry baby and as a 47 year old grown man is way too sensitive.

Please stop!

This must be Paul Carter.

Paul Carter is definitely out to get me. He has been harassing me on my blog. I don’t have any proof and i’ve never met or talked to him but I know its him!

Which actually is a decent tactic, though I doubt he’s really fooling anybody.  I like how he still can’t decide if I’m 15 or 47.

Anyway, Mommy, Pastor Mark – if you’re reading this, please don’t punish me!  I’m sorry for being naughty on the internet.  It was very immature and if I get a car I promise not to be unsafe with it.


Pretty good training day, nothing really exciting going on in the gym:

Manta Ray Squat: 45×4, 135×3, 225×2, 295, 315, 335, 355, 375, 390, 400

Bench: 45×10, 95×5, 135×4, 175×3, 215×2, 250, 285, 315, 325; 295,300×3, 305×4

Upper body still sore, probably from all the typing/trolling.

Front Squat: 135×2, 225, 275, 315, 330; 290,295,300,305×1

Manta Ray Squat: 305,310x1p, 315,320,325,330×1, 315×3

Snatch Grip Deadlift: 135×3, 205, 275, 345, 415, 435

RDL: 300x2x3

Shoulder Band Pulling

also did some neck harness yesterday, forgot to post it.

2hrs, 10 minutes

Advertisements

18 thoughts on “The Pastor, the Mom, the Aussie Housewife, and the 47 year-old High School Student.

  1. Haha, we never had people going crazy in Mopersville before you showed up, Coach. The closest we’d get were verbose debates between the usual suspects. (Fatsoid, BradRobot, Hsilly, “B”, sometimes myself..) Sure makes things interesting!

    • Gosh, you are so grumpy. Where do you get the idea that he is “actually mentally ill?” Being “so very angry at internet people” is not in DSM-5.

      In case you were confused, all those suicide things were not things that he posted as himself, i.e. “I’m going to kill myself because you were mean”. Those were things he posted as “ruinchristmas,” trying to make everyone think that *I* was suicidal.

      Also I’m sorry he went to all your guys’ blogs and left rude comments as me. Or am I? Or did I do that myself so I’d have an excuse? Was there really ever a DirtyDave? Have I been Paul Carter all along?

      DirtyDaveDurdenCarter: Hey, you created me. I didn’t create some loser alter-ego to make myself feel better. Take some responsibility!

      • “Those were things he posted as “ruinchristmas,” trying to make everyone think that *I* was suicidal.”

        I got that part… but that makes him (you?) sound even more irrational. Also the obsessive posting of suicidal comments on other people’s blogs (under your name) is kinda too weird for my taste.

      • First, although it would be funny in a sick, nothing-is-real here way, I think you know that I didn’t leave those comments. You can check the IP address of the one on your blog if you are still skeptical.

        Second, I think there’s a difference between teasing someone who’s *known* to be crazy (picking on Rant, dropping bits of paper in front of someone with OCD, kids frolicking in the sprinkler seductively when a sex offender walks by) and messing with a sane but serious “tuff guy” until they go a little bananas.

    • I should have known that anybody who lets their child wander under a stove ought not to be trifled with over the tubes. I fear we have awakened the Balrog.

  2. I thought it was pretty funny mainly because as Wo(ops) stated there was never any successful trolling on the mope before, although some had tried before. Plus your persona vacillated(is that too verbose???) so much that it seemed way too obvious a troll to be taken and yet it was.

  3. Pingback: Fatman does not approve. | Coach's Blog

  4. Well done! Bravo! I am extremely unexpirienced in internet blog trolling tactics and you have bested me very easily. I am mentally ill though so I now plan on searching for any clue of your home address, place of business and the same for family members, but take no offense from that because I often fantasize about ritually disposing of this who have wronged me. I also have recently stopped taking my seroquel XR and zoloft without a doctors supervision! Lets see where this journey takes us! We’ll go together, see you soon.

    • Dave, actual death threats are illegal. Your _implied_ death threats are a) pussy, b) fake, and c) not funny. Also, I have your IP address and other information about when and where you are posting from. So go ahead and say what you intend to do to me and my family, so I can get law enforcement involved.

      Or… just laugh it off like a man, continue being silly on my blog, or choose a new internet alias and start over.

  5. This was when it all made sense. You helped me be the man I am today. You are very good at keeping your personal info out of the blog. I know you got out of the army in late 2009 early 2010 but not the month. I know your a private security contractor but There is only so many private security companies in brownsville, texas.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s