Today there were two crossfitters doing cleans. At least one was a lesbian (butch haircut, spare tire, knee brace, looked like a softball catcher). The other one was good-looking, and I plan to do a whole post about our interactions, so stay tuned.
Also, Red Birdman and his anorexic twin were back at it. Learn about them in Scene Two. Unfortunately they did not bring Katie Holmes with them today. In the world of my dreams, women are attracted to men solely based on how much weight they can move in compound free-weight exercises. Since I am the strongest guy at my gym (except in non-drug-tested cheat incline bench press – it’s a weak gym, okay?) I have droit du seigneur. Anyway, back to reality.
I look over to see what they were doing. Standing dumbbell military presses. With 15 lbs for the White Kenyan, and 20 lbs for Red. When Skinny is done with his set, he just drops the dumbbells on the floor. Wow, I think. What a nerd.
I momentarily forget about them because I need to refill my water bottle. On the way, there, over the loud rap music in my headphones, I hear this: BWUNG! I jump like a foot off the ground. (Like a stereotypical old army guy, I’m kind of touchy about sudden loud noises.) Red has just taken the 20s and literally spiked them from shoulder height. They bounce erratically across the dumbbell area.
I turn to him. “Seriously, dude? You really gotta throw those on the ground?” Then I just walk away before he can reply. Dunno if anyone besides Red and Skinny heard me. Maybe. I didn’t yell, but the gym was pretty crowded.
A few minutes later I relate this story to John, a 20 year old bodybuilder, who is my favorite bench spotter.
“You know that redheaded guy just graduated from police academy?” he says.
“All right, fine. Now he’ll probably arrest me for no reason. Whatever. I’ll arrest him for dumbbell rape.”
Then I see John talking to them. I guess he was maybe their friend, or maybe they were asking him about me. Probably went something like this:
Red: That guy just yelled at me for dropping a dumbbell.
John: Seriously, don’t mess with him; he can curl your max deadlift.
Or more likely, this:
Red: Can you believe the nerve of that arrogant prick?
John: Ahh, leave him alone, he’s got enough problems.
Anyhow, about 20 minutes later, Red comes up to me.
I take my headphones off. Here we go.
“Can I use the bumper plates…if you’re not gonna use them or anything?”
IOW basically rolling over and showing me his belly.
Enough about that nonsense…
High Bar Squat: 45×4, 115×3, 180×2, 240, 295, 335, 365, 385, 405,
415; 335, 340, 345, 350, 355, 360, 365, 370, 375, 335,340,345×2
Front Squat (all beltless and paused): 135×3, 185×2, 190, 195, 200, 205, 210, 215, 220, 225, 230, 235
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Floor Press: 45×8, 135×3, 185×2, 225, 255, 275, 285
RDL: 135×3, 205×2, 275, 345, 355×3; 260×2, 265×4
355 was hard to hold onto, even with hook grip, but i kept my back nice and arched.
Bent Row: 2 sets
Lat Pulldown: 2 sets
Cable Crossover: 2 sets