Scene One: One crossfit chick is working out with another. 90% of the time, when two women work out together, one of them assumes the “dominant” role. This was the case here. I always get a kick out of it when the “student” has a better body than the “teacher”. There’s a trainer at the gym who looks like somebody poured cottage cheese into her spandex pants, but she has no trouble instructing a number of sexy, slender clients. Anyhow, both of these two were wearing spandex and low cut tanktops. #2 was an Asian chick with a tight bod. #1 was burly, and shouldn’t really have been wearing the spandex – or the tanktop. She led her charge on a variety of exercises, imparting her half-assed form.
This broad (the term certainly applied) worked up to 135 lbs on bench for a set of 5 or so. I’ve seen women bench more (it wasn’t even bodyweight). What was “impressive” was the way she cheated – not touching her chest, and lifting her butt up in the air. Congratulations, you’ve achieved your goal of becoming an average teenaged sh*thead bodybuilder – but half as strong. Just fascinating because 99.9% of the time, women are the ones who lazily sling around rubber-coated dumbbells and men are the egotists heaving poundages that they can’t manage.
Scene 1A: I’m moving my stuff away from the squat rack so they can use it and I stumble over my bag. I did not fall on my face. It was still embarassing. (I promise this was not from “checking them out” – I am a tiny bit surreptitious about it and don’t do that when chicks are right next to me.) I probably stumble or bang my shin against something once per workout. I am a clumsy ogre. I know people see this and think “See, all that weight training makes him into an oaf” or “That’s why I do crossfit, it makes you graceful and athletic.” The truth is actually the reverse – I’m clumsy so I’ve always gravitated towards sports like wrestling and lifting.
Scene Two: Two college kids, one redheaded guy who looked like a bird with biceps (5’10, 150 lbs) and a scrawny distance-runner type (5’9, 130 lbs) are working out. A hot college chick gets off the treadmill and comes to join them. She looks like Katie Holmes, but with a prettier face, and she’s wearing spandex pants. They instruct her in how to squat. This was the most pathetic thing ever. (If I had to guess, Runner was her brother and Bird wanted to have sex with her). Just the usual stuff: wrong bar placement, knees shooting forward, half depth, etc. And that was for the instructors. She kept almost falling over and they were at a loss to explain why. I was at the half-rack doing things completely the opposite from what they were doing. I can understand why they didn’t ask me:
- I look like a serial killer
- Headphones on, serious workout being done, don’t want to interrupt
- Afraid I would steal their girl
- Want to look like big shots.
But I wonder how they explained the discrepancy between what they were doing and what I was doing several feet away:
- “He’s a powerlifter. We’re showing you the kind of squats that are good for runners.”
- “That kind of squat will make you bulky and clumsy. Look at him”
- “My track coach showed me the best way to do it”
- “PAY NO ATTENTION TO THE MAN BEHIND THE WEIGHT TREE” (attempted wizard of oz joke)
Seriously though, why would you ever ask either of these twerps about how to lift weights? BTW tomorrow on this blog I’ll be teaching you how to write a symphony.
Today for my workout, I didn’t max because I “rode the couch” yesterday.
High Bar Squat: 45×4, 95×3, 145×2, 195, 245, 275; 295,300,305,310,315,320,325,330,335,340,345,350,355,360 x 1, 295,300,305,310,315 x 2, 295,300 x 3
Bench Press: 45×10, 95×3, 135×3, 175×2, 205, 235, 265; 275,280,285,290,295,300,305 x 1, 275,280,285×2, 290×5
Romanian Deadlift: 135×3, 205×2; 245,250,255,260 x3
Cable Rows: 4 sets
Cable Crossover: 4 sets
DB Mil Press: 4 sets