Overheard 2 Girls

I’m at the busstop at UNH.  Two girls are also waiting.  One is fat and wearing a trenchcoat.  The other is skinny, has bright red dyed hair and various facial piercings and is wearing a vintage Army jacket, revealing that she attained the rank of “Tech Sergeant”

Skinny: I hope the bus comes soon; I have to poop so bad.
Fat: [Nervous laughter]
Skinny continues loudly elaborating on the urgency of her feces, using a number of synonyms and analogies.

I studiously ignore her, staring instead at my Kindle.

Skinny goes on to talk about how, lately, she’s had a lot of this sort of digestive/excretory distress. She discusses her new and improved diet. Of course, she’s a vegetarian.

Skinny: I haven’t eaten meat in like a month. I hope my parents send me some money soon. Eating right is so expensive.
Fat: I … uh…actually had meat the other day.
Skinny: You did?
Fat: Yeah, some canned chicken. It’s like 45 cents a can.
Skinny: It comes in cans?! The food industry in this country is so whack.
Fat: Totally.
Skinny: You can get your protein without meat. [Dave?] is going to make me some bean [something or other].
Fat: I should eat more beans.
Skinny: You only need 25 grams of protein a day. People in this country eat way too much protein.

She continues about needing to poop until the bus arrives.

Conclusions

  • If you are continually experiencing diarrhea and/or violent, unexpected bowel movements, you might want to change your diet, regardless of your political principles.
  • If you want to build/maintain muscle mass, you need more than 25g of protein/day. Feel free to eat less, as it leaves more for us barbarians.
  • I feel bad for the people sitting near Skinny on the bus.
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3 thoughts on “Overheard 2 Girls

  1. Also pooping is normal. I tried to explain to my mom fiber tablets were useless as they contain 3g fiber, and my can of beans contains like 25 and she should just eat beans. Also explained how I got over 40g fiber in just one meal of beans and pasta. My mom’s biggest source of fiber is popcorn, at most she gets an extra 10g fiber from that.

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