Crazy stuff at the gym today. There is this guy who comes in – he looks a little bit like Gary Busey but the gym owner says he is an attorney. I have had problems with him before, namely that he parks himself on a bench on the smith machine (which I squat on – using a real bar of course – Smith machines are for pansies). There he’ll sit for hours, doing high speed repetitions of the top three inches of a smith machine bench press with 95 lbs. I swear that this is not an exaggeration of this exercise. It is the only thing he ever does. He’s about 50 and has a physique like a homeless wino.
Between every set for 10 minutes, he will either: get up and watch ESPN, read a magazine, or go find someone to talk to. Today after fat bar deadlifts 423.5×4 and closegrip bench 260×6, I wanted to do good mornings. But Gary was there.
Another habit he has that drives the gym owner crazy is trying to stay late after the gym closed. Since I still had like 40 minutes, (he’d been on the bench for 20 min already and done 2 sets), I went on to assistance work like fat bar row and crap like that. But then after another 20 minutes I got fed up. He hadn’t done another set and he’d been watching ESPN with the owner. He left his Iphone on the rack.
So I asked this high school kid “Is this yours?” He said, “No I think
it’s that old guy’s.” And then because Gary was by the door, he grabs it and runs over and says “Sir, sir, please, don’t leave without your phone”. Gary mutters that he wasn’t leaving. So I say, “Oh are you done with the rack?” He says I can use it (Gee, thanks) so I went over, took his weights off and started lifting. One set later Gary comes up and says “What kind of car do you drive?” I ask why. Not really scared because this guy is not threatening. He says “So I won’t come in any more when you are here.” I said, “Great, it’s a [color make model year] with a US Army retired sticker on the back”. The gym owner told me that he used to run a restaurant and Gary was the same way with a special booth. If someone was sitting there, he’d just turn around and leave.
I’m glad he’s not planning on coming back while I’m there. But what if he’s there first? I hope he doesn’t expect me to leave. I’ll pick him up, bench, Iphone and all, and throw him out the door.