Chafing the Bishop


Above: Lopez

Above: Kimball

Today: +4
Days Rated: 185
Average Day: 1.29 (+0.01)

Tonight “LJ” and Tiede invited me out to the Last Frontier, for what would be Coach’s Real Last Night Out. It shows you how little it bothered me about Amanda, since LJ was the guy she cheated with. Honestly I just wanted a copy of the tape, so I brought over a couple of blank DVDs to burn it onto. It took over an hour to figure it out, but I finally burnt two copies. One I later gave to Miller to give copies to everyone in the company. The other one I kept.

The problem with the tape is that it is 7 hours and 32 minutes long.

You’re not going to see it posted here but I can describe it.

0:00 LJ is laying in bed naked and reaches over and turns the camera on.
0:00-0:05 LJ lays in bed flagellating his coccus.
0:06-0:15 Amanda returns and she has sex with LJ
0:15-7:32 LJ shuts the lights off and they go to sleep.

When you are watching the video on Windows Media Player, the scroll bar is not precise enough. One little tap and you’ve gone ahead 15 minutes, due to the length of the video. So when you are watching, you see LJ flagellating himself and are disgusted, but then you try to skip ahead and you are looking at a dark room. So anyone who watches the tape has no choice but to watch 5 minutes of a dude chafing the bishop if they want to see any sex. Plus, the video is 300 megabytes. I’m going to have to edit this.

While I was doing this, LJ and Tiede were in the other room drinking beers. I was drinking a beer too, but it got warm while I was occupied with the computer. Then we went to the Last Frontier. We saw our friends Lopez, Kimball, McFadden, Wolf, Elf, Blanton and Kunkel. It was good to see my boys and drink with them. I also wasn’t distracted by any tail, because it was “Ye Olde Alaskan Pirate Night” or something (I made this up, but all the women had eyepatches and beards). In fact, the only person to hook up was Tiede, which is rare. He seems like he would get more play than he does, not being ugly or socially retarded, but I think that he lacks game. LJ hooks up all the time and he has a striking resemblance to Silas, the albino from DaVinci Code. LJ and I had to help negotiate this transaction between Tiede and the girl, running messages across the bar for them.

Us: “Our friend thinks you’re cute”
Girl: “Tell him to come over here”
Tiede: “Tell her to come over here.”
Girl: “I’m going to leave if he doesn’t come over here”
Tiede: “F*** that bitch, I ain’t getting up”

Then we dragged him over to her and smacked their heads together until they came to an agreement.

The bartender I like, this chubby chick who takes no lip from anyone, gave me a magic dollar bill guy when I told her I was going over to Iraq. The magic dollar bill guy is a dollar bill folded to look like a little man. It is supposed to be good luck and has already been to Afghanistan, and I think Iraq. I just had to promise to return it when I came back.

Afterwards, we went back to LJ and Tiede’s house. I slept on the couch while Tiede hooked up with the girl. At first I pretended to be asleep so that I could watch, then I later fell asleep for real.

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