Today: +15
Days Rated: 130
Average Day: 2.19

I can’t remember if I’ve mentioned this before, but we have a new tradition that takes place before a weekend. In the past, we had a “safety brief”, which is where the CO, first sergeant, or other leaders preemptively yell at you not to break the law, get too drunk etc. This way, if say you get popped for driving drunk, not only can you get punished for your DWI, but you get in trouble for violating a direct order (at 3 PM on Friday when the CO told everyone not to drink and drive this weekend).

We still have safety briefs, but the new policy is to make everyone write on a piece of paper what they are going to be doing this weekend. This way, they can get you for, say boating while drunk, violating a direct order AND lying to an NCO. (“He never wrote down that he’d be boating while drunk on Saturday night. He said he was going bowling!”)

So I took the paper and started to write Friday’s plans. “Tonight I will be bringing my teenaged girlfriend to a sleazy motel, where I will be savagely penetrating her in her every orifice with my …” At this point, SGT Hunter yanked the paper away from me.

“Do you want me to punch you in the head?” he said. Sighing, I took the paper back and changed Friday’s entry to “Staying at motel”.


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