Days Rated: 123
Average Day: 2.11
Miller and I went to the Last Frontier as a celebration of being done with the company’s mission-related drinking prohibition. Everyone had been anticipating this day for the last couple of months and making wild plans. “Yo, when we can drink again, I’m gonna roll about six kegs up in this bitch and we’re gonna party like it’s 1999.”
In my fantasy Army world, my unit is close-knit, and about 40 of us celebrated by partying wildly in the barracks then going out to a bar together. In actuality, me and my elderly roommate went out to drink heavily by ourselves, and Robbins dropped us off in Miller’s minivan. There are several possible explanations for this.
1. Everyone talks big and actually stayed in the barracks playing World of Warcraft.
2. Half of the unit is married and the other half is under 21.
3. Everyone is anti-social and about 30 small groups went out seperately.
4. No-one likes Miller and I very much and they were out having snorting lines of coke off hookers’ tits and drinking beer out of combat boots, but we were not invited.
We meant to go to Al’s but neither Robbins nor Miller could find it, so we drove around for an hour and a half, before settling on the Last Frontier, which is ten minutes from post. Miller and I go to the Last Frontier frequently, searching for a group of swingers who are rumored to have meetings there every week, in the hopes of being dragged into a filthy orgy. I also anticipate this girl Jen being there with her friends who are twins. The twins are differentiated by Jen referring to them as “the slutty one” and “the married one”, although this may be the same twin, I’m not sure. They used to be there every night and now they are never there. Instead the Last Frontier was dreadfully overcrowded. It used to be you could go there on a Friday or Saturday night and see 70 yr old men, angry Eskimos wielding pool cues, divorcees in too-tight clothes, and at least one or two people wearing eyepatches. These characters are still there, but it seemed like the Army has discovered the place, so it was mobbed with Joe. I talked to some girl for a few minutes before she told me that she just did 2 years in prison. Miller and I drank heavily. Miller likes fancy foreign ales. I prefer American beer that’s the color of urine, i.e. Bud Light, Coors Light, Miller Light, etc. We followed every round with a shot of tequila. It was an interesting night.