Days Rated: 70
Average Day: 2.83
In the morning we had a battalion run. This was to “test” us and to weed out those of us who hadn’t been doing PT. Apparently the battalion commander was mad that people run too slowly or something. Let me tell you how gay a battalion run is. It’s this big gaggle of fools tromping down the road with commanders and sergeant majors at the front and some nerd holding a flag. Usually it is very slow, this one was a tiny bit faster but not much. Of course it was like -25. The threat was if you fell too far back, you’d have to do extra make up PT from 7 til 9 at night. Do I need to say how gay that would be? Unlike most battalion runs, they didn’t attempt to call silly cadences, instead they just ran out in the dark arctic morning to some godforsaken area, turned around and came home. It always motivates me when people fall out of the runs. Matthews fell out like a half mile into it and took out like three people by rolling into a ditch in the side of the road. Lessard sort of fell back but caught up in time which showed willpower, and probably not wanting to get caught up in extra pt bullsh1t. When we got back, they put us into the post theater, where they tried to make us stretch. While we were packed into theater seats. Yeah, it would be like doing jumping jacks on a bus. Whatever. Then we got a speech from the battalion commander. Summary – Good job not getting any DWIs in a long time. If you get caught doing drugs, you will be drawn and quartered, the pieces fed to wolves, the wolves shot and the people who shot the wolves burned at the stake. Then the chaplain will have you brought back from the dead so that they can Article 15 you, take half your pay, put you on extra duty, make you a filthy private again, and then throw your zombie private ass out of the army.
We went out to the field. I thought we’d be marching a mile or two to a site we go to a lot. But instead they neglected to tell us that it was 5 miles and included a giant mountain. I was pissed when I got up this hill. The place looked like base camp at Mount Everest. It was like -20 or some shit, and we were all sweating. So we go to take out our tents and realize that the one they gave us had no lines (somebody else checks all the tents, not us). So basically it was a useless lump of cloth. So we stood there, trying to figure out how to get a new one. Everyone else built their tents and went inside to get warm. Then guys would come up and ask, “Hey, since you’re not using your stove, can we have the regulator.” We’d be like “Hell no, cause we’re about to get a tent.” Then they’d come back with their squad leader and he’d just take it since he outranked us all. Dude, it was cold as hell. Finally, other squads had to let us rotate in and out of their tents, because this process took like seven hours. A funny exchange:
Keller: “I don’t want to go into the tent and get warm because we’ll just have to come out and I’ll be cold again”
Me: “You want me to start punching you in the head? Because it’ll feel good when I stop.”
At night SSG Nolan, who is now our intrepid platoon sergeant, and helped fix our tent situation, decided that he was going to turn the stove off. It got so cold that everyone slept at the bottom of their sleeping bag curled into the fetal position. Still I got about 11 hours of great sleep.