Al’s


above: the lovely Brittnie

Today: +12
Days Rated: 60
Average Day: 3.17

Tonight I went to Al’s. It is a good bar and only the second time I’ve been there, which is rare since I have drank in many different Alaskan environments during my 9 months here. It has free chili, which is actually tasty even when sober, and it is not some cruel joke to make your colon explode. They have a downstairs bar which is full of white people singing terrible karaoke, and an upstairs bar that is full of black people dancing to hip hop, and on weekends, underwear clad girls shaking their booties.
Lopez, Harris and I went there. We made plans to meet Brittnie, who I’d been talking to online and trying to make her forget my idiocy from the last time. Harris had been talking to her too, and probably reminding her of the idiocy. Brittnie went out to dinner first and allegedly was bringing 15 of her hot girlfriends with her. Of course, by 15, she meant three, and by girlfriends, she meant 2 of them were dudes, and by hot, there was a 6 months pregnant Mexican chick playing the little video card game and chainsmoking. Maybe you consider that hot, but Lopez is distressed and lonely because he broke up with his girl, and he was not consoled by this person. So me and Brittnie went upstairs to dance, but a fight broke out. I was glad because i wasn’t feeling like dancing right then and it gave me an excuse to rescue her from the flying fists and flee the dancefloor. Then, while I had my arm around her, I could have sworn I saw this girl Amanda who I used to date, sort of lurking on the periphery. But she didn’t seem to acknowledge me, so I chalked it up to a drunken hallucination. Later, Harris and Brittnie and I danced. I demonstrated the “Coach Dance”, much to the delight of the other patrons who formed a circle around me. I won several “dance-offs” and a lot of approving cheers from the crowd. No, that is one of the lies that I put on this blog to confuse the terrorists. But there is a real Coach Dance, and it’s already a big hit in the Army. Soon it will sweep the nation.

Coach Dance
1. Push it down
2. Stir it up
3. Raise the roof
4. Running Man
5. a brief attempt at “the robot”
6. (optional) freestyle your best dance moves
7. Repeat as necessary.

The Coach dance is more of a victory dance, ala Mark Gastineau, Ickey Woods, Muhammed Ali, and most of the cast of “The Great White Hype” at the end of that movie. However, it can also excite the crowds on the floor, whether you’re at a wedding reception, your local dance club or an unruly police holding cell.

Harris and I went downstairs to find Lopez sadly spitting Skoal into a plastic cup with a napkin in it, something one does after giving up all hope of human female interaction (unless you’re at a rodeo or something). The Mexican mami was still smoking and playing video poker.

We left at that point. I was really glad that Brittnie and I had got along so good, but I was sad for some reason. I can’t really remember why. Maybe it was just that we were leaving.

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One thought on “Al’s

  1. first, i never said i was going out with 15 hot girls. and there WERE hot girls with me, its just that one of them hates you. plus i was drunk and forgot to bring you all over to the table.

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