Running Cadence and Star Wars

If you’re ever asked to take over calling running cadence for a formation, i recommend the following stanza: “Run all night and run all day… Don’t call cadence because cadence is gay! Route step, march!” If that fails to end the lunacy, try the infamous “Log Song”.

Saw Star Wars this weekend. It was bad ass. I want to read the book “A New Hope” I think it’s called. It was written by George Lucas (actually with the help of a ghost writer) in 1976. There are supposed to be some inconsistencies because he didn’t plan on Darth Vader being Luke’s father, Luke and Leia being siblings, etc. In the six movies, these characters I wanted to see more of and know more about: Darth Maul, Boba Fett, Jenga Fett, Han Solo, Qui Jonn (or whatever his name was). Characters I wanted less of: Jar Jar (in the first one, in the next two, Lucas wisely shut him up), Lando, Ewoks, Count Dooku, faggy droids, Gungan King, young Anakin and his whore of a mom. Mitochlorians, my ass, who’s Anakin’s real dad? I think it was most likely Han Solo’s father, some Sith Lord, or some Jedi. Possibly it’s Uncle Ben’s dad. More gay bits: Why do stormtroopers become such pussies, like Ewoks knock them out with sticks. Why do they wear armor if it doesn’t protect from rocks and it doesn’t protect from blasters? Why won’t there be 3 more movies?! How did Han meet Chewy? Couldn’t the Ewoks be edited out and at least replaced with Wookies? What would an Ewok taste like medium rare, maybe with some Lea & Perrams (sp) steak sauce? Cool bits: Bloodshed, finally. I hope that some kid saw Phantom Menace when he was like 5, and got the pod racer playset at Burger King, and now his parents take him to see the movie and Ani becomes a wife beating mass murderer and it warps their little minds and turn them to the Dark Side. I wish Padme was my wife. I’d turn to the Dark Side too, to save her. So wait, wasn’t she Queen Amidala? Or is Queen Amidala the old chick at her funeral. I am pretty dense sometimes until I see the movie like 8 more times. Who was the dude running away in the spaceship when the clones turn on him? And who was the kid that got shot? Yo, I totally knew that Senator Palpatine would be the Emperor right from the first movie. And I totally knew that Captain Organa would raise Leia. That’s cause I had all the action figures when I was little, so I knew their last names. There’s so much more cool about this one. FOUR lightsabers? Bad ass! The spaceship battles are not really effective and they are limited, but if I see another upset victory I’d have got pissed. Luke, yeah, believable. Just like shooting wamp rats. But Lando, after they made the Death Star new and improved, he is like no problem, let me take care of it. And Anakin, you couldn’t fly shit, you kindergarten drop out. He should have been like 14. So if he’s like uh 20? in the new movie, wouldn’t Padme be 30 or so? Star Wars wheee!

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